question for he ladies

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by kmanagr, Jul 29, 2007.

  1. kmanagr

    kmanagr New Member

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    Well here it goes. I am a married male for over 20 years. My wife and I have great sex when we have it. I am the problem. She is about 50lbs. over weight. This is a turnoff to me. As a result we maybe have sex 3-4 times a month.

    I have a had a few sexual relationships outside of marriage. Some may agree and some may not. Sorry but i love the chase and the feeling of butterflyes with a new lady. Please dont judge me till you have been in my shoes. Sometimes monogamy gets old.

    I like porn and flirting and fantaseys of meeting a new lady and the things we may do. I am constantly looking for women. I try small talk etc.

    Ok The question. I know there are women out there in the same predicament as me. I have been to some of the websites advertising some of them. Most women I know do not go to these websites. Anyway I would like to ask some women I have met for a date so to speak. Really a date meaning I would like to have sex with them. I would like to ask them but lack some courage.

    1.What would you as the opposite sex think about a man asking you out that you new was married? I am a professional and don't want to viewed as a pig.

    2. Would it make any difference if the you were single or married.

    3. Would it make any differnence to you if I knew you were married.

    My female friend said ask them for coffee, lunch etc. and they will get the point.

    She also said to just give them my number and let them make the next move.

    I dont want a divorce or to replace my wife and i certainly dont want the women attaching themselves to me or making any trouble between my wife and I. I really really dont want to hurt her. But you only go around this big world once.
    I hope this post makes sense if not let me know and I will try to clearify.
    Thanks
     
  2. emerlyj

    emerlyj New Member

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    1 - Honestly i wouldn't think much of him, and there would be no chance of me going out with him. I wouldn't do that to myself, and i wouldn't do that to the wife.

    2 - Yes, as mentioned i would never go out with i man i knew to be married or in a relationship.

    3 - I've never been married but i would hope that i wouldn't be asking other people for sex if i was.

    Does your wife know that you are sleeping with other women? And how would she feel if she knew you were? And is she content with having sex only 3-4 times a month? If it is just her weight that is a turn off then have you talked to her or broached the subject of her losing weight.
    No offence meant as i don't know the full situation but it almost seems like you are using the fact that she is overweight to justify cheating on her, so it is then not your fault. Apologies if i am wrong, that is just how the post came across to me.
     
  3. kmanagr

    kmanagr New Member

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    thanks

    Thansk for the return. No I am not justifing it by any means. I know it is wrong and I do not want to hurt her.

    We married when we were young and dumb. She loves to have sex and would like it more often. My libidio is just not up for it.We have tried many differnet things but she really is not up to most of them. I have dropped suggestions but they go past her.

    I have found that most women who are not married have the same opinion. I am not trying to talk down to you but after 20 some years with the same person it gets old. I dont care what you do, or how much you vary it. It is the same person.

    That feeling you get in a new person is exciting,exporing there likes and dislikes. I know there are women out there like this. I have a women friend I am close to. She told me that 4 of her friends cheat on thier husbands. It happens
     
  4. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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    Too late. :eyes
     
  5. Joe

    Joe
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    It's been my experience that some women prefer relationships with married guys.
    • If they're married themselves and want to keep it discrete, seeing a married guy makes it easier, and you have more in common.
    • If they just want a brief, non-committed sexual relationship, it's easier with a married guy.
    • Some just like to bag the married guy to prove that they can.

    My best advice is to quit messing around. The brief pleasure and enjoyment isn't worth the pain it can cause. But if you're going to cheat, cheat with a married woman who shares your thoughts on having a little fun on the side. Just be sure you both want the same thing -- a brief sexual relationship only. Even then, things can turn sour. If you do it enough, things WILL turn sour.

    I've had a couple relationships with married women and justified it to myself. "Their husbands treated them like crap." I wasn't happy in my own "committed" relationship. Justifying such activity is easy when you're horny. That doesn't make it right. I've been in your shoes. And you WILL be viewed as a pig. (I think you know why.)

    You should focus on your own marriage and your wife and quit looking for something else. But you know that, don't you.
     
  6. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    I have known women that would rather go with married men. One would not go out with me until she found out I was leaving town in a week.
     
  7. emerlyj

    emerlyj New Member

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    Your libido isn't up to it and yet you are off looking for women to have sex with? Or do you just mean you have no desire for her?
    What have you tried with your wife? You still appear to be placing the blame on her for how you are. SHE is overweight, SHE isn't up to things, the suggestions go past HER. I understand that people feel the need to cheat and that being with one person may get boring in time but to me this isn't enough of an excuse to hurt them and deny them sex.
     
  8. Miss-Honey-Bee

    Miss-Honey-Bee New Member

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    Could you not encourage your wife to diet and or exercise?

    Answers to your questions. I am being honest, please do not think I am being harsh.

    1. I would think you are a pig, to be honest. I wouldn't give you the time of day.

    2. I'm not married, but I am with someone. I would never cheat on him, as I don't expect him to cheat on me. If I were single, I still wouldn't bother with a married man. I am second best to no one!

    3. If I were married, and you asked me out, I'd be very offended.

    I have a friend who is an escort. She sees married men all the time. Her justification for this is: 'If it wasn't me, it'd be someone else. Better me than some silly tart they meet who'll go phoning them at all hours etc.'
     
  9. pppofmine

    pppofmine New Member

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    I have been with my husband for almost 24 years and our sex life is better then ever. Sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too!!!!!
     
  10. MsEspresso

    MsEspresso New Member

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    The feeling I get from your post is that you just don't want to be monogamous, whether you find your wife physically attractive or not. You say that you just enjoy the chase, the butterflies in your stomach . . . you only go around this big world once, etc. So, it sounds to me like you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. I won't judge you, I haven't been in your shoes. But I'm so happy that I still get those butterflies from my husband after being with him for 13 years. If a married man asked me out, especially if he knew I was also married, I'd probably tell him to go to hell. But not all women are as happily married as I am.
     
  11. Barbwire

    Gold Member

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    Um the original poster wrote this like 4 months ago, and hasn't been back since. Don't bother wasting your time replying.
     
  12. MsEspresso

    MsEspresso New Member

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    Oh. Thanks for the heads up, CL- I feel dumb.