Question About Older Men

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by quixotic, Jul 16, 2012.

  1. quixotic

    quixotic New Member

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    I'm new to the forum and just registered a few moments ago. I'm not sure about the age groups within the forum but I thought there may be some older men that can answer questions I may have.

    My boyfriend is just shy of 58 years old and I am 30 years old. After three years of dating, I'm still unbelievably attracted to him. The gentle stroke of his hand on mine or feeling of his breath on my neck excites me to no end, just like it did in the very beginning. We have sex very often, two to three times a week normally and every night if we are on a vacation.

    As for my questions, my boyfriend constantly doubts his attractiveness. I'm assuming it is because of our age difference but I find it very troubling, especially since I find him to be incredibly attractive. He is sensitive about his lack of hair, his body and more. He doesn't express feelings of distrust when it comes to me, just feelings that I don't find him attractive. He will sometimes even ask, "Why me? You could have a ton of men!" Is there anything I can do to help him with this?

    Also, even though I'm happy with our sex life, my boyfriend usually likes to stick to "normal" things when it comes to sex. He has never tried anything anal and generally stays away from that area. He does enjoy oral sex for both of us and also goes with just about any position, even though he was extremely surprised when I suggested we have sex while on my hands and knees the first time. Actually, he was so surprised, he still brings up that moment to this day. I've dropped hints from time to time about doing something "kinky" in the bedroom but he seems to be very traditional. Could this be because of his age?
     
  2. boobjob

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    I don't think hesitancy to get kinky has to do with age. I am 47 and would love to get a little kinky. I too am self conscious about my sex appeal. Time has a way of shrinking all the wrong things and giveing us more of what we don't want. I've lost hair. My dick is smaller and doesn't get quite as hard. I don't last as long. I have a gut and too much hair in undesirable spots. I imagine he has the same insecurities. We guys love to hear compliments. Tell how sexy he is and how much he turns you on. Tell him he makes you wet. If you want to get kinky with him, try reading stories out loud and discussing what you would like to try from the stories.
     
  3. lbushwalker

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    Hi Q, well I am in exactly the same situation in that my SO is shy of 30 and I am 59 and similar issues have arisen in our 2+ years together.
    I am a bit more confident than your SO but still keep asking her why me?
    I am not rich, not particularly handsome (but not ugly) and she is by far the most gorgeous lady I have had the pleasure of making love to in my entire life!
    I know I have certain skills and also an immense capability to love and cherish so that must be it yet.........the lingering feeling is why me?
    That said I pinch myself each day to wonder at my good fortune and yeah she is more adventurous and her libido higher than mine by a magnitude of 10.
    Love is blind maybe or else I am also losing the plot ;)
    Happy, like real happy Bush :)
     
  4. Michael629

    Michael629 New Member

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    Hello Q,
    I'm 52 and without being redundant, I too face the same things as boobjob and Ibushwalker. If one thinks about it, where ever we go it's youth and beauty, sex sells. We have become obsessed with this, well here in the US that is.
    I was in a phone conversation with this guy and he commented " you may be ugly as sin but,,,,,". What ? So I posted the comment on facebook . Not one reply had to do with looks, but with personal character if so why the obsessing over the outside. Not that there's a damn thing wrong with that at all.
    So the question still remains . It could be one of the comments or none of the above. Q I would say just watch and listen, we older men do have alot to offer in and out of the bed.
    You see something greater than looks,age, size but the true valuable man that he is.
     
  5. pbs

    pbs
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    Q,

    I am 67 and can tell you that it's insecurity that's the problem with an older man with a younger woman. What's happened with me is that my emotions have become much more intense as my sexual abilities have declined, and I am much more sensitive psychologically. This will burden an older man, who believes his younger woman wants a better looking guy with more energy, a bigger and harder penis that can last longer, and similar life's experiences. There's not much you can say to make his fears abate, and your actions will tell him what he wants to know. Just love him fiercely and reassure him whenever he needs it, and he will be fine. If he ever catches you in a "significant" lie, it will devastate him.