Question about BF Masturbating to Gay Porn

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by hello, Jan 22, 2005.

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  1. hello

    hello New Member

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    My bf of 6 years has been watching porn for masturbation for about 4 years, more so now with the easy access of the internet. Awhile ago we were browsing his collection of files on his computer and I saw a lot of gay porn videos. He said he was just curious... nothing more. But lately, the gay porn is what he has been enjoying more of... and after asking a few questions or casually talking about it he is embarrassed about this. His embarrassment and increase of interest in it makes my allready wandering thoughts a little more worrisome. How normal is this?
     
  2. Hug_It

    Hug_It New Member

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    Normal? I don't know how normal it is but if you were to read a post from a guy asking the same question about his girlfriend would anyone think it strange? I mean it's just socially acceptable for women to be excited by other women. My guess it's just a normal curiosity and he's using it for an extra deviant boost of excitement. Masterbating to the same old fantasies gets a little old after a while and you have to come up with something extra "naughty" to push you over the edge. That can be a different thing and most of the time the more "out there" the less likely you would ever do it in real life.

    I'd suggest talking with him and ensuring him that it's OK. Hell even incorperate it into your sexual relationship with dirty talk or whatever. I'd think it better if it was something you shared openly in a trusting manner than making him feel ashamed and withdraw.

    After all, if he really is discovering he is gay, there isn't much you could do about it.
     
  3. hello

    hello New Member

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    yes... some good points, thank you for your thoughts!
     
  4. kbate

    kbate New Member

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    I don't see a problem with anyone masturbating to anything that excites them. If he begins masturbating to male porn regularly when you are not with him (and how will you ever know this), then there might be an issue, but not one that would concern me overly.
     
  5. Logger

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    K Bate is probably right that it is OK

    Visioning is more important for men, than for women. I find that my satiation is increased if I use porn videos in foreplay and love making with my wife. Sometimes, during various phases of approaching climax, I am visualizing other images that have come to mind, usually in th last 24 hours. After I climax, my desire that existed before climax for the other images is satiated. My recollection and fondness for the next period of time, after climax with my partner, is for the actaul event of climax with my partner.

    I have wondered about when is the best phase to begin and end porn in the love making process. I, myself, make a concerted effort to turn off the porn video as soon as I climax.

    Perhaps porn visions could carry over an hour or two. My wife often objects to porn videos. Perhaps I could just wacth the videos for an hour before she is likely to be ready for foreplay, and then move in to her for foreplay and climax. Perahps you could ask BF to come play with you, if you see he has been on the computer for a while. I try to squirt my wife, and save my load for my wife, whether I am squirting her teats or legs. My wife often objects to vaginal intercourse, but will let me play with her teats, pubic mound and legs,most any time.

    I like to have the porn video playing for background as I make love to my wife. I just like to be able to glance at the images once in a while.

    Embarrassment by BF may mean you could choose a better time to discuss the issues in a confidential manner. Or ask BF if he needs some time before discussing it again.

    There are many views on porn and bi-sexuality. You can search this Forum or other web resources. There is such a thing as going overboard on porn. Sometimes I feel myself getting engulfed with the ideas or images on the Web, or elsewhere. If BF is feeling not so in control, you might think abiut hw he might try to apply some discipline to his porn watrching. Times of day, days of the week, after the bills are paid, or some other time or event driven discipline approach. There are websites and counselors that deal with porn addiction. There is an old thread on this forum, where I challenge a number of assumptions about porn addiction. I know porn is a serious problem for some people, but the vast majority of males really enjoy porn, within reasonable limits.

    You did not mention how you might share porn with BF during foreplay and climax between you? What works for you? What could you try to arrange to do differently? What might create more satiation for BF?

    Blessings
     
  6. fantasien

    fantasien New Member

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    Logger you talk really professional like. Are you a counselor or health person or something? i've Always wondered.

    Anywho, i would suggest the same thing as the rest of these replies. i watched some mixture of porn before i was kicked out of the house. it has died down a lot more at this point. but i still get the urge to watch the same things as your boyfriend. but, i never actually get any.

    the only time i am embarrased in a subject such as something like this, is when the subject is approached when the issue is still there. Wait till your in a more private situation to talk about it to your boyfriend.
     
  7. Maggie_05

    Maggie_05 New Member

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    I was always taught masturbation was a way to express something your interested in sexualy. If he strokes to gay porn that dosn't mean he is. I've masturbated to some weird videos but would never do what they where. My bf has masturbated to gay porn but he said it was because he was interested in anal, which began our exploration into that. His exploration at least, I'm use to it and like it. Anyway I talked to my doctor about my recent trists into lesbian sex and other things and she said masturbation helps you work out your fantasis without acting on them. She said she a fantasy of hers is double penetration but she wouldn't try it, as for my self I sometimes think about fisting but would never attempt. So its prolly just a way for him to work out his curiosities.
     
  8. Frank Grimes

    Frank Grimes New Member

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    Sounds gay to me. My take on it is that if he was curious, he would have downloaded it and watched it, and then gotten rid of it. The fact that he has several videos tells me that it may be a little more than a fantasy. Why does he have to masturbate so much? How often do you have sex? Has his drive slowed lately? Do you think he would ever act out on the gay thing, and if so, what would think about it?
     
  9. fantasien

    fantasien New Member

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    Hmm... these are some good questions. I would seriously look into them.
     
  10. Logger

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    Dear Fantasien,

    Thanks for the compliment that I sound professional. My goal is usually to raise questions for the person posting about an issue, to find their oown answer, and I simply assist by providing related questions on the issue.

    I have spent some time in Libraries, and I should probably spend more time, keeping up with technolgy and knowledge. You might be interested in finding out how to use Index Medicus or other library references in a medical library. Once you understand how to look things up in Medical and Law libraries, probably Professional people will not sound so professional to you. Have you ever tried to see how to get access to a medical library? Universities, big hospitals and government or military clinics often have medical journals and medical books.

    Blessings
     
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