[Ask a Girl] Putting In The Leg Work

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Nobody, Jul 31, 2012.

  1. Nobody

    Nobody Member

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    Women aren't necessarily wet at the moment intimacy is initiated but the touching, the kissing, the foreplay, the right words spoken all work to arouse her and bring her to that point of feeling the juices flow, but it has been more than a singular occurrence in my sex life that at the moment a woman initiates a sexual encounter she expects the mere expression of her interest in sex to bring me to a throbbing erection. There has been more than one woman that has undressed me to discover (oh my god) that my cock isn't hard and on standby for them. They see the flaccid state or the in-progress erection and instantly assume that I'm not interested in sex.

    Is this school of thought prevalent? Do you take the time to arouse your man or give up when he's not somehow magically already there?
     
  2. Dragon_Fire

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    I miss the days of making a soft one go hard, especially with my mouth. :(

    Unfortunately, I have to wait till he's had an orgasm to get to try.
     
  3. MrShoes

    MrShoes New Member

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    Nobody

    I am in the same position

    When my wife and I are intimate she loves to be aroused by foreplay, toching, kissing, strocking and eventually giving her an orgasm, she will only then touch me and if I am not a hard rod she flies into a rage screaming that she obviously doesnt turn me on.

    I am 54 now, when I was 18 i was hard as a rod just kissing a girl but it takes a bit longer now and I try to exoplain although I am sexually aroused it take carresing from her as well. I think she thinks I should go hard with no effort from her
     
  4. CurvedUp

    CurvedUp Member

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    Really not sure how this works, but in my experience within a few minutes of passionate kissing and groping she is wet. And I am hard within minutes as well. And I am 53. With the short list of women I have been with, non of them have ever seen me soft for the first time.

    Even at the end of my marriage where sex once once a month, she would even would be wet within a short time and she had been checking out with another guy. So there was some kind of sexual desire for me. The mind plays a great part in all of this. For me making love is and has been an integral part of a relationship with no hang ups for me.

    Now we are at a point in the relationship where religion is becoming a part of the sexual role. She feels that because we are not married we can not have intercourse. Sad. And it is becoming a hang up for her. Yet we spend time kissing and stroking each other and she still gets wet. The desire is still there despite, in reality she should not even be getting wet for it not to be sin. Last weekend we we masturbated each other to orgasm.

    Sexuality should be pure joy. It should be a healthy part of our lives. Yet past issues of it being wrong, present things ie religion making it wrong, or future issues of getting old bring issues of how we make it be part of our lives.
     
  5. 12barblues

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    Well shit..wasn't gonna post because it's an ask a girl thread, but everyone must be watching the games or something . Anyway, I actually like that I'm not 18 anymore. And no longer does my dick get hard when the wind blows....i love, and I mean LOVE, the way my soft cock feels in her mouth...I love the way she lovingly rubs , caresses , licks and sucks me to hardness....I love , and I mean LOVE, the way it feels to grow in her throat.....and I believe she feels the same
     
  6. Alwayslearningsex

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    Well said, I love being brought hard by touch but never had it oral.
    For all the replies, true it takes longer at times to get hard, yet other times it's ready on the spot. Sometimes hard in my sleepy state wishing someone to reward it being hard.
     
  7. Knine86

    Knine86 Member

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    I will say this, i have never met a woman who was upset with me not being hard right away. In fact i have found SOMETIMES its the oposite. When you are making such an effort and you can get her engine running and running hard, the right woman will find it almost a challange and even a pleasure to return the favor. giving you everything you want just as you did for her. ive been with women that when i have done all the right things and have them soaked they look down and dont see me throbbing she smiles and pushes me back saying its my turn. some women, and thank god for my luck, love being able to share that feeling, so if she can turn you on just as hard as you turned her on it makes it more pleasureable because it was fair exchange. this is just one point of view obviously, but ive been lucky enough to find women who enjoy sharing and trading pleasure.
     
  8. RainLevity

    RainLevity Member

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    Looks like mostly guys in here, lol, so I'll add my female perspective, since you asked. I understand that guys are just like women in that they need some stimulation or foreplay of some kind to get hard. Unfortunately, Hollywood and romance novels have warped our view of this, though, and it is a cultural expectation that we have. Women expect that if you want us, you'll have a raging hard-on. Most of us are honestly insecure in our sexuality, and our attractiveness. A man's hard-on is physical, "hard" evidence that he finds us attractive, and wants us, and we've come to crave that confirmation. I think you just need to be more open with your woman, and explain to her that, just the way her vagina may not always be slick as soon as she's aroused, your penis may need a little extra attention to catch up to your brain/heart.

    Do what some of the guys suggest and make it a game. Ask her if she knows anything that might remedy the situation and see if she can be creative. That will make it more fun and more "OK." HTH
     
  9. boobjob

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    I'm 47 and I still get hard at the mere thought of sex with my wife. If I am naked and she walks into the room my cock starts to grow.
     
  10. lbushwalker

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    Alone in a room then in comes a new woman and all of sudden there are three of us :D
     
  11. Ra1nb0wUnderwear

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    It's not often I get to see it happen, as it's already usually waiting for me... but when I get to be a part of it I love every second of the process. =D
     
  12. sabian

    sabian New Member

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    Oh YEAH!! Right ON!!!:D