Prostate equals gay?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by bcuzbcuz, May 31, 2009.

  1. bcuzbcuz

    bcuzbcuz New Member

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    My wife went through the roof today when I told her I had ordered a prostate stimulater on-line. She said I was one short step away from becoming a homosexual, that if I liked stimulating my prostate that next I would be wanting a live cock up my ass.

    She quickly followed up with my internet habits. I download a lot of porn, including pictures of hard dicks and I admit I'm turned by two guys on a woman. Girl on girl action does absolutely nothing for me, but then again neither does guy on guy stuff.

    Due to my anti-depressant medication our sex life is inconsistent. I've been off and on medication for the last fifteen years and along with medical information from doctors and therapists I'm convinced that my anti-depression medication screws up my sex life. I can get and maintain an erection but it is extremely difficult, next to impossible, for me to ejaculate.

    We've tried a multitude of solutions and spent a fair bit of money on counselling, advice and medicines, including a variety of health food supplements and homeopathy. Nothing works.

    So my question is, anyone have positive experience with prostate stimulation? My wife's question is will such a toy turn me gay?
     
  2. igor

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    prostate stimulation can really enhance an orgasm. And NO - it won't turn you gay.
     
  3. Drakonnen

    Drakonnen Member

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    Prostate stimulation is only gay if you want a guy to be stimulating your prostate with his dick.

    In your case, you're fine.

    I've had anal stimulation done on me, I love the idea of two guys with a girl, and yet the thought of any guy on guy stuff would kill my erection instantly.

    They aren't at all related.
     
  4. loveit247

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  5. heelfetish

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    Liking anal sex/stimulation does not equal homosexuality, any more than liking oral sex does. After all, the majority of homosexual couples regularly practice oral sex more often than anal.

    Being gay is "characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex", according to Webster's Dictionary. There is no mention of anal stimulation anywhere to be found.

    I'm sorry your wife has such a close-minded view on this subject, it's really unfortunate. However, to put this in perspective, perhaps the next time she wants oral or uses a vibrator or dildo, you could remind her that those are the acts of a lesbian. ;)
     
  6. bcuzbcuz

    bcuzbcuz New Member

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    Thanks for your responses. We're having "the big talk" tomorrow and I'll be showing her your comments.

    It amazes me that an activity picks up a "gay" tag and then becomes out of bounds for the heterosexual. I hope that oral sex doesn't become something that only "gays" do.
     
  7. HardRocker

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    By age 63 you are what you are, whatever you decide to call it. Nothing can turn you gay if you're not. When you get less able to do some sexual things, whether because of age, injury, meds, etc., you find ways to compensate and work around your inadequacies if you want to keep your sex life alive. Or give up trying and lose it forever.
    Paranoia about turning gay is just a waste of energy.
    Good luck and hopefully good sex.
     
  8. fregsex

    fregsex New Member

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    it doesnt make you gay alot of people enjoy it
     
  9. bcuzbcuz

    bcuzbcuz New Member

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    That you for all your responses. I read them to my wife, she listened, then said, "Well that's nice for you, but none of them respond from my point of view, how it feels as a woman to be pushed aside in preference for an anal probe. How does a prostate stimulator play into an intimate situation for a man and a woman? We can't use a prostate toy while we're having sex."

    I answered that my need to find things that could stimulate and make my arousal come back to a point of being "responsive and more natural" she took as only an insult to her womanly powers.

    I'm at a loss for words. Anyone with a helpful suggestion.
     
  10. igor

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    Bullcrap! Many guys (and gals) use anal stimulation during sex. Why not? Whatever enhances the experience is fine as long as no one is physically hurt.

    And what makes her think that a toy will replace her?

    I would have no problem if my wife wanted to use a sex toy. She cannot orgasm at all right now. If there were some magic toy that would do it for her, I'd be more than happy and the last thing I would think is that it would replace me.
     
  11. HardRocker

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    Sorry man, it sounds like she's just determined to be right because of some misplaced anger. I'm lucky, my wife encourages whatever helps keep my drive alive.
     
  12. bcuzbcuz

    bcuzbcuz New Member

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    Misplaced anger, I hadn't thought of that, but somehow it fits. Her need to be right in this case seems to go beyond boundaries of reason. She states that she has made up her mind and isn't open to listening to other opinions. As I wrote before she says no adressed her point of view of being replaced.
     
  13. HardRocker

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    Is this your wife of decades, or are you two relatively newly married?
     
  14. bcuzbcuz

    bcuzbcuz New Member

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    Really glad to see someone else who likes Douglas Adams. Your question is easy to answer but gives me cause to think of a number of reasons why it's important.

    We got married this past summer after beginning a relationship 6 years ago.

    The biggest factor in our realtionship isn't (imo) the amount of time we've been married but the factors that lead to me putting off our original date of getting married. She had been married for ten years and three kids followed by a very disharmonious divorce, some ten years ago. I am a widower of 15 years back and have 7 kids from my first wife. They've been on their own for many years.

    Her two youngest kids still lived at home when we moved in together. Their relationship to their mother is dysfunctional and disasterous with me. My wife has had great difficulty with my relationship to her children, I basically have trouble tolerating their verbal attitudes and lack of empathy. I know, TMI
     
  15. Barbwire

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    I was quite shocked to see your age, for I assumed your wife had to be an insecure teenager by the way she's acting. :eyes

    Really, good luck with her, she sounds like a tough nut to crack.
     
  16. loveit247

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    Ask your wife exactly how she is going to be replaced? I am confused about that one!
    I use anal stimulation on my SO when he is in the mood for it. It is one hell of a turn on knowing how turned on he is by it.
    I think she may just be insecure about the idea and looking for excuses.

    If I were you I would tell her that this is something she can do with you, as part of a loving couple, or something you can try on your own. She has the choice there!
     
  17. jensweats

    jensweats New Member

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    No offense but is she the reason youre on anti depressants? Get out while you can. Lifes too short to deal with these type of idotic "teenage" headaches.
     
  18. Barbwire

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    I just reread my previous post and I realize I owe you an apology, bcuzbcuz. I came off as a snarky bitch and took some potshots at your wife. I had no right to do that.

    You must obviously love the woman or you wouldn't have come here looking for some insight and advice. Am I right?

    I have been the virtual mistress to a few men in your age group and it's always the same old story. For whatever reason, one partner grows sexually and the other stays in a fetal state, refusing to see, hear or feel the true joy of sex.

    I pity people that are sexually retarded, I surely do. I also pity the people that are paired with them. :(
     
    #18 Barbwire, Jun 9, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2009
  19. vizzle

    vizzle New Member

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    I personally love the occasional prostate massage. It releases alot of tension, more then other times. Its also seems rather cleansing. I would alert your wife to all the online resources to the benefits to the prostate massage.
     
  20. bcuzbcuz

    bcuzbcuz New Member

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    No offense taken, Jensweats. My wife is not the reason I'm on anti-depressants. My reason for asking about prostate stimulation is just an added factor in my situation.