Proper Uptight English Gentleman.

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Animularisen, Jun 20, 2008.

  1. Animularisen

    Animularisen New Member

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    Well, lets see. I've been with my boyfriend for a month and after the getting over of his 'cumming too soon' phase, I've come up against a new thing.

    We don't like the same things... I'm proper 'throw sex in ya face for all the family discussion wave a banner about' (e.g I'm very open minded, experimental about sex)
    he is very proper uptight english gentleman about it... I love rough playing, I like being called names and being bitten and biting (he doesnt mind me biting him) i like being treated like dirt sometimes... tied up, whipped, anything S&M (which may be a much for him atm) but light stuff? He doesn't feel right and doesn't like doing it. He doesn't like biting me (the best bit) won't force me (playfully) won't even fuck me hard >_<

    What am I to do! Sex is great as a whole but I can't help missing them naughty rough, slap you round the face moments :(
     
  2. cbrmale

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    My style is making love rather than fucking. Even in my youthful one-night-stand days, I always steered towards a making love style of sex. Within that gamut I became more open to variations, and I had some fine times with ladies who preferred a broader style of sex, particularly anal play and sometimes hard fucking if that's what turned them on. Later in my development I did some light S&M, but it took a while to get there.

    My point is probably this, your boyfriend seems more like me and he's probably not going to change radically, but he will mature over time. But beating, whipping, ropes and chains may not be his thing for a while yet, if ever. We all have a 'sexual script' or a 'sexual persona' (these are actual psychological terms). Like our other personas it's hard work to change a sexual persona, even if you want to.
     
  3. Bluesy

    Gold Member

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    Cbrmale said it perfectly. We all have a "sexual personality" that makes us very compatible/sort of compatible/incompatible with lovers. Just as the success or failure of your relationship is dependent on how well the two of you gel outside of the bedroom, it's also dependent on how well you gel inside the bedroom. Sexual compatibility is extremely important...if it isn't working, you have to consider that the two of you are probably not meant to be. You've found a guy who is devoid of the sort of sexual aggression that thrills and excites you--if this is something you need in order to feel sexually fulfilled, it would probably be best to call it quits now before the two of you get further attached. There are so many people in the world and very few whom we are truly compatible with. Goodness knows it isn't easy to find the right ones, but the important thing is not to settle...if you aren't happy with the way things are today, they're most likely going to become even more disappointing and frustrating later on. There is someone out there who will thrill and delight you, if you're willing to keep looking for him. It really sounds like you'd be more likely to find your kind of guy through the local BDSM scene (just something to think about).

    Best wishes to you.
     
  4. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    Every new couple has to take it step by step. You may come to appreciate and accommodate each others difference. Or you may discover the hassle makes the relationship not worth it. Most importantly, talk it over. If you keep silent about it, you'll feel cheated in the long run.