Problems

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Saiko, Jun 1, 2009.

  1. Saiko

    Saiko New Member

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    As I stated in my introduction thread I am kinda sexually frustrated and the fact is my girlfriend does not want to do anything, not even take pictures for me, phone sex, oral or anything D:

    I don't have a problem with it, emotionally or anything but it gets damn hard going with her for 3 years and being 18 and still a virgin. And every time I try to get her interested it turns into a argument that all I want is sex.

    I just don't know what to do x.x I love that girl to death but I need some attention, just masturbating isn't enough.

    And no, she doesn't have a problem with me that's why she isn't interested. I am a pretty attracted guy (i'd like to think <_<) and I am not lacking at all down there and I've had plenty of people tell me this.

    So, I don't know what to do x.x

    I'd like to just do phone sex with someone else to ease myself but even that makes me feel bad, well, not when I am horny, but when I am not I feel guilty :(
     
  2. fregsex

    fregsex New Member

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    I understand your feelings. My gf made me wait a year before we had sex. It was because she was a virgin and didnt want me to turn into some one who just wanted sex. Its hard to go that long with some one but it was worth the wait. If you love her you can wait.
     
  3. Saiko

    Saiko New Member

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    It's not the sex I care about, I want something D:

    I've been with her 3 years, so your year is nothing in comparison xD
     
  4. ~emm~

    ~emm~ New Member

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    Talking to her is the only real solution. Honestly, there's little we can say except from sit her down, and explain. Sex is an important part of a relationship, and keeps a stable, healthy and enjoyable connection between the two of you. It's not the most important part of a relationship (like your hinting) but your right in the sense that it is very important.

    And remember - 1 step at a time. Confront her about oral or sharing pictures first, and then slowly ease into the sex. Sitting down and saying i need "sex" will overload the situation as she will assume its penetration. Or why don't you send a picture of your penis to her via text (Without warning) and see her reaction. Now if there's a bad reaction then there's a problem on her part.

    Keep us updated, there are many people here who will try and help (Y)
     
  5. HammerHeart

    HammerHeart New Member

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    Hi Saiko -

    I think Emm gave you the right advice on how to gently go about it. And that is the right way to do it, especially since you say you love her. True caring and communication are key.

    Let me add some other food for thought. You are young and so is she. I know it doesn't feel like that At ALL to you right now - and you aren't wrong to feel that way. It is the spark that drives us forward. Almost all men and women at 18 feel the burning need/want/desire. It's fundamental in our nature and, in the passage from adolescence to adult.

    I mean, how can a boy especially, feel like he is, or soon will be, an adult and take on all of those responsibilities and still be a virgin?! Despite all the liberation that has occurred to both sexes since the 60's, we all still carry around these concepts that have been conditioned into all of us for centuries. Women far more so than men when it comes to sex.

    Now, having said all of that, I will play the part of an younger uncle here and talk about it with you strictly from a Man's POV - (No offense intended to any of the wonderful ladies here). But you need to give us more information about your relationship with her and about yourself first.

    Is she your 1st real GF? (When I say real, I mean a GF you really cared about and for.)
    Are you her 1st real BF? Have either of you engaged in any type of sexual activity in either of your lives - with each other or with anyone else? (Ahem, no masturbation doesn't count unless you were both present during it :D). Do you believe she loves you or is this a relationship of convenience for both of you as you explore your place in life?

    Think about some of that and let us all know what you are thinking/feeling along those lines.

    HammerHeart
     
  6. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    I know it might not seem like it, but eighteen is still very young.

    Your girlfriend just might not feel ready yet. Most people end up losing their virginity before marriage (even if they say they want to wait) and your girlfriend is probably no different. Whatever you do, don't try to rush her. So many of us end up having sex before we're emotionally ready to handle it. You basically have no choice but to wait until she's ready.
     
  7. Seprofyt

    Seprofyt New Member

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    I must admit, i think it is bad if you show her regular porn... as some might suggest :)
    Porn isn't a bad idea, but be very sure of WHAT you show her... In my point of view, porn has changed the last few years (i am 19 and can clearly see a difference, from when i were 12-14 where i started watching it from time to time :D )
    well on to the reason, most "mainstream" porn is "tough" with anal, a little bit of spanking, rough oral and such. You should atleast find something softcore or something like that
     
  8. Rosebud29

    Rosebud29 New Member

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    The worst thing you can do is make her feel pressured. I was in the same position as your girlfriend. Please read 'my story' in general sex discussions.
     
  9. HardRocker

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    Good advce. Many of the things they do in porn are things I would never do to a woman. Porn is not even related to making love between two people, and it could scare her if she thought that's what you were going to do.
     
  10. unigod12

    unigod12 New Member

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    Dude, its the same with my gf and i! The way i look at it is the longer you've gotta wait the sweeter its gonna be