problem staying hard--young guy, need advice

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by scarmic5, Mar 7, 2013.

  1. scarmic5

    scarmic5 New Member

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    I'm a 23 year old guy who's just become sexually active for the first time. To put it bluntly, I'm having trouble staying hard. The first time I had sex, I didn't feel like I was very hard, but my girlfriend was on top so it ultimately worked. This last time, I tried to be on top, but I couldn't stay hard for more than a few seconds and went soft as I tried to put it in. After a lot of foreplay, we were finally able to have sex...though like last time, she had to be on top and I didn't feel like I was hard enough and felt like I would lose it at any moment.


    Whenever we kiss, etc. I am hard, but when I know more is going to happen, I go soft and have to work back up again. I'm attracted to my girlfriend, I'm a young, healthy guy, and I was masturbating regularly before I started dating this girl so I know its not a physical problem. She is really cool about it, but for both of our sakes I want to get this taken care of. At first, I thought it might be performance anxiety, but this second time I assumed it would be better, but its not. Any advice/insight?
     
  2. kipro150

    kipro150 Member

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    ive had this a few times, and it would happen at the beginning of the relationship

    oral and foreplay stuff I was hard as a rock. then we get to sex and I would get soft, and even when i was hard i was so paranoid about getting soft that I was nervous.

    It does get easier as the relationship matures since you get more relaxed and you just think about sex and her

    We were using condoms at first which definitly didnt help at all so her being on the pill helped A LOT. There were times where we just did condoms after we got used to sex and i didnt have the problem since we got over the anxiousness of it

    It happens periodically but I think part of it is I just dont have the crazy high sex drive. especially online you hear how everyone can cum and get hard 5 minutes later to bang the shit out of their girlfriend for another 2 hours and she has 10 orgasms (feel like i should solve a math problem now). so losing stress about that helped. but thats just a random thought

    After some positive experiences it should get better. and try not to put too much weight on it if it does happen every now and then
     
    #2 kipro150, Mar 7, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2013