Probably a silly Question

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Dionysus, Sep 27, 2010.

  1. Dionysus

    Dionysus New Member

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    Here's the deal, I have a question...for anyone with a little insight. My wife and I have a less than amazing sex life, we have been married for only three years and we are crazy about each other. We only have sex maybe twice a month...this seems pretty low to me. How often should we be having sex? I realize this is a very generalized question, but need to chat about it.


    Thanks!
    D.
     
  2. Hot Wheels

    Gold Member

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    First off....welcome to SF :welcome

    Now....I have to ask the obvious question....:eyes
    What is your wife's take on this?
    Surely you've both talked about this....right?
     
  3. Mittimer

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    You're right, it is a very generalized open ended question. We can't quite give you a forward answer either.
    Some people have sex three times a day, others once a day, some once a week and even some once a month and they are completely happy about it.

    I'm a 21 year old female and my Fiancee is a 23 year old female. We're both generally very sexually active. We like to have sex at least once a day, on "off" weeks having it once or twice a week due to various reasons.

    There have been times, again, for very particular reasons that we've gone for months without having sex.

    There isn't any clear cut rule as to how many times a day/week/month that one should be having sex, it's all based on the moral of the relationship and ones self.

    So I've got a couple questions for you. Have you spoken to your wife about this? Are either of you on any mood altering medications? Do you have children? Are your work schedules crazy? Is there an obscene amount of stress in the house right now? Do you live alone?

    Above are many reasons why you wouldn't be having sex on, well...a satisfying level.

    The best advice anyone of us here can give you is talk to your wife. Communication is a key element to being happy in a marriage.
     
  4. SteveWaste

    SteveWaste New Member

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    I agree with what Mittimer says about open communication. Also, there is no way for us to know what is normal for you. Do you travel for business? Do you both have separate work schedules? Do you have kids? Dogs? Needy relatives? Lupis? or a full pelvic amputation? There are really just too many questions. If you were willing to give us a bit more information, I'm sure we could provide some more pointed and specific advise to help.

    PS... If I were you, I'd just ask my cousin Eros to throw a few hornies my way and cut the problem off at its source. Think about it.

    ~Steve
     
  5. Mittimer

    Gold Member

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    First, it's never Lupus :p

    Second, you are so freaking awesome. Adopt me?
     
  6. SteveWaste

    SteveWaste New Member

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    My favorite phrase... "It's called gratification disorder. Which is a misnomer. If one were unable to gratify ones self; THAT would be a disorder."

    If I adopt you, does that mean I have to pay for the wedding? I'm not sure if I could swing that right now with such little notice. That and the whole, inappropriate thoughts, thing.

    ~Steve
     
  7. Mittimer

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    Lol, no you don't have to pay for the wedding, the man and I got it.

    As far as the inappropriate thoughts..can't help you with that :p
     
  8. Dionysus

    Dionysus New Member

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    Wow, I am really impressed with SF...I am not a big forum user but I was not expecting everyone to be so cool! Steve, props for the Greek knowledge!
    Ok, to the point...I have spoken with my wife a little about how I feel but it makes me feel like after that conversation she is just having sex with me or fooling around with me to humor me, not because she wants to. To avoid letting this get long winded let me answer some of the questions and turn it over.
    She works from home, I have a pretty steady schedule locally. No kids yet, not very high stress, no lupis, no pelvic amputations...we actually love our life together and have a blast in everything we do, which makes me try very hard not to think about this since everything is so awesome all the time...why should sex matter so much to me??

    Thanks for welcoming me!
    D.
     
  9. Michellesoldman

    Michellesoldman New Member

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    Because YOUR drive is a bit higher than hers.

    Once you read around the board more, you'll realize a trend among a lot of the men here---we're in a similar situation as you. Many of us have a really high drive, but our women don't. It makes things difficult sometimes---oftentimes. How we each deal with it in our own lives seems to vary a bit too. Most masterbate as often as possible. Some just save it for their wives whenever their wives decide they might like some action too.

    Unfortunately for some of us, it seems to be a hormonal thing with most of the girls in our lives and as such, there's just not a lot that we can do.