Premature ejaculation: how to react?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by rg17, Nov 11, 2013.

  1. rg17

    rg17 New Member

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    How should I respond when he comes too fast? I know he is embarrassed and I'm disappointed, but I don't know what to do or say to make him feel better.
     
  2. Silverfox

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    Yeah, it's tough. How old is he? Does he always cum too fast?
     
  3. rg17

    rg17 New Member

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    We're both only 19 - he's not that experienced, so I understand.
     
  4. shashtzoh

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    I suppose it is a chance to learn with him to control it. Maybe during his times alone he has had to masturbate quickly and get it over with. Now he needs to learn to savor it and that can be a struggle for some men. I also know that some men are wired differently. First I would say just take it as a compliment that you are that hot and also take it that he hasnt been around a lot practicing. But then, you two can learn to help him know how to last. There is a lot on the web about that but he can practice alone too and surprise you!
     
  5. b4idie

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    I think all young men suffer from p.e . I can remember only too well how difficult it was to control my penis. Something as simple as holding hands, would lead to an instant erection. Pre seminal fluid only added to the embarrassment. At your ages you should enjoy it and take your time to discover each others bodies, you have all the time in the world to get it right.
     
  6. alwaystry

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    Well this has happpened to me when I was with a new girl in my 30s! No less awkward , my advice would be don't react strongly ,ignoring it like it didn't happen doesn't help and neither does acting like he is a freak for doing it doesn't either. When it happened to me the best thing the girl did was she said " ooo somebody is excited for me! Don't worry about it we have time" . Then I went down on her for a bit and she did the same to me and wham! Round 2
     
  7. Silverfox

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    Being understanding is probably the only way to make him feel better. I learned early on that when I felt myself cumming too soon I had to pull out. I would passionately go down on her hoping to keep the sexual energy up, push into her again, then pull out and go down, then go back in, etc, etc. Does he go down on you? Will he go down on you? Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Oral on a woman is probably the best way for a man to stimulate her with almost guaranteed success.

    His confidence is shaken when he feels like a failure. Remember, sex is as much about what's going on in your mind as what's going on in your genitals.

    Can you be assertive enough to teach him what you want, help him learn how to handle this? When he begins to feel successful, his confidence will return. If you read through the threads in the forums here on the site, you'll find a constant theme. We, as men, want to feel successful, want to be good lovers, want to know how to please a woman. BUT, we also want an assertive woman, an enthusiastic woman. Maybe with some enthusiastic guidance from you, you both can work through this.

    Sex is about communication, both verbal and nonverbal. I like it, when I'm going down on my wife, she'll grab my head and move it so my mouth is right on her clit. She's telling me where she wants attention and I feel good because I'm pleasing her. When I'm inside her she'll tell me to go faster, but right after that she'll say, "Don't cum yet, Don't cum yet!" It forces me to pay attention to her. Nonverbal communication is also about reading the signs your partner's body is displaying. To be good lovers, both partners need to learn what the other's body is telling them. Encourage him with body signals when he's doing something right. Also, ask him to let you know when you're doing something right.

    My advice is to help him restore his confidence by enthusiastically teaching him what pleases you. You'll be more fulfilled and he'll feel more successful. When he feels more successful his confidence will go up. When his confidence goes up he can learn to pay attention. Most men can't lose themselves in the experience of intercourse. We have to stay in control ourselves. It's a genetic leftover from when we used to walk the plains of Africa. The act of mating makes you lose attention to your surroundings. If you lose your attention to your surroundings you become vulnerable. When you become vulnerable a big ass lion will jump you and eat you. So, cum quick so a lion doesn't eat you.

    Now, before the other ladies jump down my throat, I know it's not your responsibility to prop up a man's ego. But, it is your responsibility to control your own sex life. By teaching him what you want, by taking a little control, you can teach him how to control himself and be more aware of what's going on. If he can be more aware, he can learn to control himself. You get what you want, he gets what he wants; yay, win-win for you both.

    P.S.-I agree with what shashtozoh says above. Left to their on inclination, most men masturbate to climax far more quickly than they want a session of lovemaking to last. There's a masturbating technique called "edging", that helps a guy teach his body to not climax too fast. Search to threads, I'm sure there's some information out there. If you can't find anything, PM me and I'll explain what it is.

    P.P.S.-Since this is a concern to most men because at some point in our lives, usually when we're younger, and at our prime breeding age (remember the big assed lion), we all experience premature ejaculation. There are a lot of so called enhancement supplements out on the web. Amazon is full of them. They're all crap. He'll be wasting his time, your time, and his ego. Don't encourage him to look for something like that.
     
    #7 Silverfox, Nov 11, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2013
  8. sexylatino12345

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    I would recommend stud 100 that's what helps me I spray som on 30 min before and when I'm about to penetrate I just whip the head with a cloth so I don't num her and just let him take his time if my wife would of bout stud 100 and she told me to use it I would of fin with it
     
  9. rg17

    rg17 New Member

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    Thank you Silverfox and everyone so much! That's very helpful, and I especially liked the part about the lion. Luckily he doesn't have to worry about anything jumping him except me. I'll just try and be more assertive but still understanding. Thanks!
     
  10. Silverfox

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    You're welcome, sweetie. Let me know if I can help.
     
  11. pbs

    pbs
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    rg17,

    If I were you I'd try learning to make him come with your mouth, and don't let him control the action - you control it. This way you can slow things way down and make him come on your terms instead of his. Make him promise not to get angry with you no matter what, and then take your time and make his pleasure last. Another thing to try might be to just lay together with him inside you without any thrusting. This is especially effective if you've shaved around the opening to your vagina, and that coarse ring of hair isn't there to keep urging him to ejaculate.
     
  12. Anotherday

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    Great reply from Silverfox

    Might I suggest working on him cumming twice or more in a session or night?

    At 19 and in reasonable health going more than once shouldn't be difficult.