Post and read a good joke - laugh a little!

Discussion in 'Games and Jokes' started by Sashame, May 16, 2016.

  1. Sashame

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    Dad cooks a deer and doesn’t tell the kids what it is.
    He gives them one clue… It’s what your mother calls me.

    The boy yells ” It’s a fucking dick, don’t eat it!!!”

    I love you!
     
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  2. TheCaramelLady

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    Igor was great at this. I miss his posts. So glad you have resurrected this @Sashame

    tumblr_o7m254kbJI1uktuv2o1_1280.jpg
     
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  3. HazHardHat

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    haha nicely done CL :D never had the pleasure of knowing Igor but this is a fun thread!
     
  4. TheCaramelLady

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    He contributed a lot of jokes. There was another member that also contributed and unfortunately I cannot remember his name. :(
     
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  5. HazHardHat

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    well you are doing a nice job of picking up the slack CL ;-)
     
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  6. TheCaramelLady

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    Now look at what you've...how can I meet such high expectations! LOL....

    I will keep trying. I think laughter is good for us. I would like to see what you come up with HHH!
     
  7. djanalyst

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    "What do you call a gay bar with no stools???
















    ..."a fruit stand"... :)
     
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  8. HazHardHat

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    No pressure CL, I promise :)

    Speaking of pressure...

    What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?

    A private tutor.
     
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  9. TheCaramelLady

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    Sooooo funny!
     
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  10. HazHardHat

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    :D
     
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  11. Sashame

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    A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

    The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

    'You talk?' he asks.

    'Yep,' the Lab replies.

    After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

    The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

    'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'

    'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

    The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

    'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

    'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

    'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit.

    I love you!
     
  12. SexyFantasyGirl

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    What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
    Beat it. We’re closed.
     
  13. SexyFantasyGirl

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    a sick joke


    Q:What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend
    A: He wiped his ass
     
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  14. HazHardHat

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    haha love the new one too @Sashame !
     
  15. TheCaramelLady

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    This is from an Internet joke site:

    Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
     
  16. RaynieJ

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    What's the difference between a washing machine and a U of M cheerleader?

    When you dump a load in the washer it doesn't follow you around for a week and a half.
     
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