Please Help Me

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Snake21605, Aug 11, 2007.

  1. Snake21605

    Snake21605 New Member

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    Well I am back again for some help, this time I am really in a pit. Me and my girl have been dating for almost 3 years. We have been having intercourse for about 4 months. From the outside view we have a great relationship romantic and sexual. But the problem with it all is I feel that she is not as interested. Our love life to me atleast has seemed to changed a bit, not in a good way. I mean it is not to a point of failure but not a hott as it once was. She is not into very many exotic things but she likes to change it up a bit while making sure it is still romantic. My question here is, how can I help improve the love life. What are some things I can do to spice things up while still staying romantic and sending her massive orgasm's. She never climax's during intercourse without a vibrator help (which she doesn't always prefer) she likes having our love time naturally. What can I do to help her climax more often...

    Also it seems that when I am in the mood, she is not, and vise versa. Why is that and what can I do to help even it out. Our relationship is very good but our love life seems to be slacking a little.

    PLEASE HELP....:help :cry
     
  2. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    It seems as though, based on your posting, one of two things may be occurring. First thing maybe is that sex is different for a woman. For her sex may not be as important as having a close emotional relationship. For some women at the beginning of a sexual relationship they will have sex a lot and then taper off after the sexual relationship has been established. This means for a woman sex is not about the number of orgasms but the emotional closeness it brings them. In her case, based on your posting, it may be that she is satisfied with not cumming all of the time or have mind blowing orgasms.

    Unfortunately for men this aspect of sex is not realized due to fact that is not the case for them and their sexual interest tends to stay the same. Usually this creates a bit of confusion and they feel it is them when in fact it is not.

    Therefore it is my belief you may be creating the problem for yourself because you have not had a thorough discussion with her and you are rushing to make a conclusion when you do not have all of the information.

    My recommendation in regards to this point is talk to her about your feelings. Also I would recommend finding different ways, other than sex, to enhance your relationship with her. As it seems, based on your posting that she is interested in more than just sex with you and she maybe looking for an emotional commitment too? For her there may be a close link between sex, emotions, relationship, and commitment. You may find as you enhance your relationship with her the sexual aspect improves.

    The other thing I am wondering is if your relationship is in trouble? If there have been relationship changes and not for the better it could indicate there is an underlying issue.
     
  3. Snake21605

    Snake21605 New Member

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    We had some major issues a few months ago from April-May or so. But after many talks all is good again...
     
  4. Bluesy

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    I think Yorkie made some very good points about how sex differs for women; and the fact that it does drop off a bit over time, and this is perfectly normal. It is mostly psychological, so if a woman isn't in the right frame of mind, it ain't happening. You have to continue "wooing" her, continue being the same considerate, loving, affectionate, attentive guy you were in the beginning. Both men and women have to invest in their relationship; it should be work! But work that pays excellently :brow

    So maybe ask yourself if you've changed at all, ask yourself if anything in the relationship has changed. Have a heart-to-heart with her and ask her if there's anything she'd like to talk about...leave the door open for her to confide any questions or fears or whatever and it will make your relationship stronger in the long-run.

    What do you mean by "exotic"? Everyone has their preferences and their boundaries...not everyone is into the same things, and it's important to respect that, to allow others their "off limits" list. Hot sex is first and foremost about the connection between two people--if that's missing, or lacking, there's no amount of whipped cream or massage oil that's going to compensate for it. The best way to spice up a relationship is to work on strengthening and deepening the connection between you. That's the kind of stuff that's mostly done outside of the bedroom.

    Do you perform oral on her? Most women can't orgasm via vaginal sex and will require clitoral stimulation...one way or another. There are threads here on performing cunnilingus you might want to check out.

    Keep us updated :)
     
  5. Snake21605

    Snake21605 New Member

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    yes I do oral for her ANYTIME she wants it....I even just surprise her and lay her down for some loving...without asking for anything in return...
     
  6. Bluesy

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    You sound like a good lover! So, tell us, what exactly do you feel is lacking? What do you want to have that you're not getting now? I feel like I'm not quite catching onto what the problem is.
     
  7. Snake21605

    Snake21605 New Member

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    well the guess the passion is not what it used to be.

    I can't really describe it, just as if something is wrong...maybe nothing is just feels like something is not there...
     
  8. Barbwire

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    Are you sure that what is going on now has nothing to do with that?
     
  9. Snake21605

    Snake21605 New Member

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    very sure...yes