please help!!! is it good enough?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by sdnstud, Jul 5, 2004.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. sdnstud

    sdnstud New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2004
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CA
    my gf and i have been sexually active for over a year. the only birth control we use is latex condoms. we also try not to do it 5 days before and after her ovulation each month and I usually withdraw before i ejaculate. My gf is refusing to go on the pills. I was wondering if i am in danger of getting her pregnant?
     
  2. innerwildwoman

    innerwildwoman New Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2004
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    There is a slight chance she could get pregnant regardless of what methods you use. If I recall correctly condoms are about 90 something % effective when used correctly and 80 something percent effective in general (more info in the link below).

    http://www.plannedparenthood.org/bc/bcfacts2.html

    Though the rhythm method by itself isn't that effective, combining it w/condom use probably makes it more effective. However, women's cycles can vary due to things like stress, illness or travelling. Also, when I was in college, I noticed my dorm mates & I would change cycles to be in synch.

    It might be a good idea for your girlfriend to talk to her dr. about other contraceptive methods, such as a diaphragm or cervical cap or spermicide to act as a back up method in case the condom tears, leaks or comes off during sex.
     
  3. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear SdnStd,

    InnerWildWoman has several good points. One is that it is good to have a relationship with a doctor or helath clinic, where you can get information and perscriptions. If there is a slip-up, you wil need a perscription for a morning after pill. You might get some to have on hand.

    I think Ramses makes a spermicidal jelly to go with condoms. I use a lot of that stuff. I have been using Koromex, but it is no longer on hte markedt for some reason. The more barriers you set up, the more the chances of reducing pregnancy combinate.

    Look for petroleum products in lubrications, as petroleum products suposedly weaken latex condoms.

    One problem with condoms is that sperm can spill out the base, if care is not used. Pulling out is helpful, but I am not able to sense when I am releasing pre-cum, which also has sperm. It is unlikely that you will be able to pull out before pre-cum is released.

    Foam can set up a defense barrier to sperm also. The more devices you combinate, the better protection you will have. A doctor has to prescribe a diaphram, because the doctors is suposed to be abel to measure the correct size. Sinc you re-use the diphram in the dark, check it once in a while in the light. Be sure to keep the diaphram someplace where something is not laid on top of it, that punches a hole in it.

    What are your GF's objections to the pill? How is she with the Morning After pill?

    What are your feelings about a vascectomy?

    Did you ever try a female condom? I have played with one, but never actually used one.

    Blessings
     
  4. Shellen77

    Shellen77 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2003
    Messages:
    650
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    Just an FYI...

    The Morning After pill is not designed for use as a contraceptive. It will disrupt the womans cycle and shouldn't be used except for obvious emergencies.
     
  5. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Michelle,

    How obvious should the emergency be? How many hours after the event is the Morning After Pill still effective? After how many hours does the effectiveness start to dwindle? After how many hours is the Morning After pill totally ineffedctive?

    Do you advise people desiring to delay parenthood to delay attempting to acqire a morning after pill, untill a emergency has occurred? Is it good to have a moorning after pill on hand to feel ready for a possible emergency? Is a broken condom an emergency? Is a single deep thrust an emergency? If I have a friend who is an idiot, is it a good idea for me to have a morning after pill in case my friend creates an emergency? Is there any test to deterrmine if an emergency exists, like pregnancy, within the effective time period of the morning after pill?

    I have a vasecectomy myself, so I really have not thought much about these questions.

    Blessings
     
  6. Shellen77

    Shellen77 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2003
    Messages:
    650
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    I am not completely educated about the morning after pill. At my pharmacy, we were not allowed to carry it. My Company felt that it was morally wrong, so I couldn't sell it.

    I do know that you only have 48 to 72 hours before it starts to diminish in effectivness. Also, you can only get this via prescription & it's really a judgement call by the doctor. Some women who have cycle problems to begin with are probably not good candidates for that pill. I almost positive the doctors will not give you a prescription for it for "just in case". Most planned parenthood places will give patients these at a lower cost or even free depending on the income of the person. Needless to say, most insurance companies do not cover this & it is quite pricey. As for what emergencies, any time a sexual act has happened that may cause pregnancy would be considered. But that's where it gets tricky....some irresponisble people will rely on that as a birthcontrol method which it is not. It's not something that you can just take because you didn't want to ruin the feeling by using a condom, but it is because the condom ripped...it's ok. Ever since the M.A. pill came out, people have been trying to get it over the counter. I don't feel that's a very good choice because it can cause havoc to your body & it's not meant to replace safe sex.

    Hope that helps you!
     
  7. innerwildwoman

    innerwildwoman New Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2004
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know some women's magazines have advised getting a prescription (the prescription slip, not the actual pill) to have on hand just in case of an emergency because many emergencies occur during weekends when dr.'s offices are closed and the delay in getting the prescription could render it ineffective. I've never followed through on that. Even though I'm not in a relationship and haven't had sex in the longest time, I keep both condoms and spermicide on hand (checking expiration dates periodically) after I stupidly took a chance in my younger days, though fortunately w/out any consequences.

    Of course, even if you get the prescription, here in the US at least, there's the problem of filling it. In addition to some pharmacy chains refusing to carry Emergency Contraception, some pharmacists are taking it upon themselves to deny it to women. A rape victim was denied emergency contraception at an Eckerd's (though the pharmacists who refused her were fired), link below:

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4359430/

    Some pharmacists and some gyns are even taking it upon themselves to deny women The Pill:

    http://www.prevention.com/cda/feature2002/0,2479,s1-7348,00.html

    While I agree it shouldn't be over the counter, I do think we need to do something to make sure it's available to women who need it. Shellen, since you're in the industry, do you happen to know if state boards and/or professional associations are doing anything to ensure that pharmacists don't force their moral beliefs on customers? What if a pharmacist didn't believe in animal testing and refused to dispense medications which had been tested on animals?
     
  8. blade

    blade New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2004
    Messages:
    163
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    FL
    wow...i can totally see why they don't want da M.A pill to b overcounter, but u cant stop ppl from doin wot they want to. If they wanna have sex then they will, wit or wit/out condoms..and they'll just wait a month and abort, and abort again...(i had a freind who was like that) I mean thats what the pill is like, some kind of early non-surgical abortion.

    But then we have to leave rooms for emergencies like a woman that was rape. Do they keep those pills in the hospital?? What if she's too ashame to go to the emergency room, should she have to wait for her regular doctor's office to open?

    Now those other types of emergencies..."I'm goin on a weekend trip and there's gonna be (&%$@!!) available" or "Spending the night at a friend's house". You know ur- self, and don't need pre M.A prescription for just in case, u should be carryin a condom or spermicide or other approved methods of contraceptives.

    Besides if my guy brought me the M.A pill, tellin me "baby it's o.k not to use a condom" i wouldn't take it, knowin the side effects and that it still don't prevent STDs, i'd rather use a diaphram or else.
     
  9. blade

    blade New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2004
    Messages:
    163
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    FL
    i really shouldnt say "abortion" b/cuz some ppl disagree when/what stage pregnancy takes place..but u get what i'm saying
     
  10. nympho_ami

    nympho_ami New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2005
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    The M.A. pill is NOT an abortion of any kind, if you wouldn't want to do it then fine, but it's really not an abortion. It does NOT kill any kind of foestus or fertilised egg.

    The morning after pill will make your uterus/egg unfit for fertilisation so that no foetus can be created. If it has already been fertilised, the pill does nothing because it's too late for that.

    So it's not abortion of any kind, because it's not killing or getting rid of anything, it's stopping a pregnancy before it happens!!
     
  11. nympho_ami

    nympho_ami New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2005
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know that things are far more tricky in the states because people feel stronger about not having sex before you're married, not having any kind of abortion, etc. (Mainly because there is far more religion about.)

    Here in the UK things are far easier -we are not taught abstinance at school, instead we are taught the facts about sex and contraceptions, and condoms are available to students at a lot of schools. Condoms are available to buy for any age kid, and teens can get the pill pretty easy too -family planning clinics will only give it to 16+ but at the doctors you can get it from like 13/14.

    EVERY pharmacy, doctors surgery, and hospital is required to stock the morning after pill. You can buy it, no questions asked, at the pharmacy, or get it free by filling in some forms at ne of those three places. (So if it's a sunday and the pharmacy is shut, or at night, you can go to the hospital and get it 24hrs 7 days a week.)

    Personally I am damn glad that so much help and advice is available here... it makes sex much less worrying and much safer.
     
  12. columbus17

    columbus17 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2005
    Messages:
    365
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Some port--Not sure
    What we could learn from our friends across the pond!
     
  13. franz

    franz New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2005
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    FYI, the MAP DOES kill fertilised eggs! THe MAP works by inhibiting ovulation if it has not occurred and preventing implantation of the zygote (fertilised egg) if it has. SO if you consider Life to start when the sperm hits the egg, the MAP IS abortive.

    I'm in the UK where the MAP is available for up to 72 hours after unprotected sex. It is 95% effective if taken within 12 hours, 85% effective if taken within 13-24 hours, 75% effective if taken within 25-36 hours and as little as 48% effective at 72 hours. THe sooner you take it the better, and Family Planning places offer give out a double dose to those they consider to be intelligent enough to understand taking the MAP and the repercussions, so you can take one for this emergency and keep one in case you have another emergency...

    I have been using a natural contraceptive methods involing NO ormones, barriers or implanted devices for 18 months with NO pregnancies. Hormones are dangerous and unneccesary - doctors are just afraid to educate women so they can manage their OWN fertility - then who will take the Pill??
     
  14. lovedog

    lovedog New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2003
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    0
    franz can you educate me more on your natural contraceptive, i am also sceptical about hormone, also i will want you to give me the name of this MOP, i dont know if it is the same with mestrogen that is comon here in nigeria
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.