Pick Up Advice

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by phabulousdude, Feb 17, 2008.

  1. phabulousdude

    phabulousdude New Member

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    This is going to be a very tame thread compared to most of the others here. I have a major problem initiating conversation with someone I like at a bar or wherever. I have met all of my girlfriends in the past through other people and I didn't have the burden of striking up the initial conversation with any of them.

    Once I get going, I'm confident in myself to maintain a good conversation and to make myself a likable person. I just don't understand what the very first thing I should say to an absolute stranger whom I know nothing about. What does everyone here do?
     
  2. kaffwahn

    kaffwahn New Member

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    I think "hello" would be a good start o_o.

    Asking if she's having a good night seems to be a good start.
     
  3. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Their is no one thing to say,
    It really depends where your at and what your doing
    Talk about what the two of your are doing at the time
    I hike and bike and its easy to meet on a trail
    but not so easy to meet in a noisy bar.
    A comment on Her shape if in a gym
    on her looks if in a bar, Anything but a corny pickup line.

    Hiker
     
  4. Steel

    Steel Member

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    Just a tip..... "What's your sign" and "Got any Irish in you? Want some?" don't work, no matter what anyone says! :)

    If meeting people through friends has worked for you in the past, why not keep at it? I think meeting someone through friends is a lot safer and less of a gamble.
     
  5. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    I don't have much advice for you, I'm afraid. I've never been much of a pick-up artist...you just have to know me to love me. (Puking sounds galore...:p)

    The only thing I can say is: be yourself. Be who you are without any facade, and that will come through I'd think. I've always been that way...I figure if someone doesn't like me for who I actually am, then I don't need 'em. The good news is that the people (women included) that you'd want to keep around will like and respect the authenticity.

    HTH,
    BD
     
  6. cbrmale

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    I wasn't much of a pick-up artist, but the last place I would look for a relationship would be in a bar. Too noisy, too impersonal and I am an introvert in large crowds. Making opportunities to meet one-on-one (as Hiker suggested) worked better for me.
     
  7. cook74

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    I have always found that if you are trying to find a partner in a large group, like at a bar, eye contact is paramount. I don't just mean staring at the girl you like, but try to catch the girls eyes and try to convey something through your look. The right facial expressions are very important as well. Don't leave your tongue hanging out with drool splashing on your brand new leathers. :drool :p

    That, for me, has always been the best way to establish some kind of rapport before I even start to engage in conversation.
     
  8. redorn

    redorn New Member

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    Seconding Steel, if meeting people through other people has worked in the past, why not use that to your advantage?

    I'm the same way, all of the girls I've met have been friends of a friends and chatting up strangers in bars is usually such an uphill struggle its just boring, so I make an effort to go to every party and social outing I can so that I'll meet the most people in a relaxed situation that I can.

    Go do some activities where its normal to be talking to randoms as you're doing it. Dancing is usually recommended here, but climbing works pretty well for me for chatting to new people (mmm...hot climber physique girls....).

    practice seduction in every day life, chat up every person you talk to normally, even down to quick interactions like the cashier at the supermarket, even if its just quick flirting.

    bars and nightclubs really don't deserve their reputation as *the* place to meet new people for fornication.

    one thing that makes a difference for me in clubs is whether I have an actual reason to talk to someone. If I go up to a complete stranger with the intention of getting in her panties I have a massive failure rate, but for example if some girl bumps into me, its totally normal for me to say something sarcastic and accuse her of trying to start a fight or something and then conversation just sort of happens naturally.

    I also find its a bit easier to start conversations with the person next to you at the bar than completely randoms (doubly so since the bar tends to be a bit quieter volume wise)

    oh, and don't be afraid to use completely lame openers like "what time is it?" or "hey, I'm lost, do you know where <whatever> is?"
     
  9. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    I actually think it's quite hard on men. I used always be passive and let men approach me when I was out, or maybe just try and catch the eye of a bloke I fancied. When I started to be proactive and go up to men I fancied, I'd be quite gutted when I was brushed off and I could spend the rest of the night sulking, even when they were polite and were obviously just already in relationships (it had to be that, couldn't be that they just didn't fancy me lol)

    I think phabulusdude already has the right method for meeting women. I don't really see why picking up women in bars is something to aspire to. But If you do want to, try to avoid pick up lines although they can be good for a laugh after you've introduced yourself.



    How about saying hello, a nice simple compliment maybe (nice outfit perhaps), or maybe a remark about the music or the bar you're in. if you're not feeling confident then keep it simple. Try and dress a little bit smart as well, half the time you can't hear whats being said in a bar or club anyway, and you're appearance or demeanour might be all she has to go on. And for fucks sake don't be dissapointed if you get turned down.

    Anywho like I said I've think you've got the right system for meeting women already. I hope you don't start trawling the nightclubs, but I also hope you meet somebody nice
     
  10. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Agreed! It's quite fun to flirt anyway, and it's harmless (unless you don't want it to be!). I guess it's like anything else...the more you do it, the more it comes naturally? I've always had to bite my tongue to just keep whatever from coming out of my mouth...although it's usually pretty funny, sometimes I raise eyebrows. (But then, I don't really care if I do in most cases!)

    I would definitely agree with what's already been said though...if you have success meeting women through friends, definitely continue that route. If you're trying to increase the volume of acquaintances (is that the purpose for hitting clubs?), then maybe just make some new friends? If it ain't broke, don't fix it!

    On the bar scene...best I can recall, I've only had two girlfriends that I met in a bar or club (one each). Just about all the rest were through parties or social gatherings with friends, or something similar. And I actually met my wife at work. (The office I was in at the time must have been 70-80% women and the few guys who were there were either old-n-married, ugly as sin, or both, so I had the "pick of the litter", so to speak! Couldn't pass that opportunity up! ;))

    Cheers!
    BD
     
  11. ctown75

    ctown75 New Member

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    The key is just to go for it when you see somebody you like,if you get rejected do not take it personally and go on to the next person and remember you most likely will never see those women again in your life so who cares what they think..You only need to meet one person to make your evening so just keep swinging.I met my wife in a club 19 years ago so there are good people there and I just asked her to dance and introduced myself.
     
  12. slamd097

    slamd097 New Member

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    Ok, if your at a bar, ask the bartender what she is drinking. Order her drink and take her one. Nice way to intro your self.

    Next works for most scenarios. Walk up with a smile, not toothy, just a small grin. Let the grin touch your eyes, and say. HI, Im (Name here) I just keep noticing you, and I finally worked up the courage to introduce my self. conversation can ensue from there...

    now if none of those work...Approach subject with pants around ankles, and ask subject if they want to get a pizza and screw.
     
  13. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    :lol And if they say "No", ask "What's the matter...you don't like pizza?" ;)

    BD
     
  14. sinaliciousone

    sinaliciousone New Member

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  15. phabulousdude

    phabulousdude New Member

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    Thanks for all the responses. I especially like the one about being flirty in everyday situations. I've never really thought about flirting with anyone if there was no intent on getting a number. I'll probably give that a try for the practice.

    I only mention bars because it's the only type of place I go where I can consistently meet girls. I only have so many friends and have therefore exhausted all possibilites through them, at least for the time being. I hate clubs and dancing, and I mainly like quiet, casual bars.
     
  16. HardRocker

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    After years of going out on Saturday night to "pick up some chicks," I have absolutely decided that the successful practice of such is a myth. So I just gave up and married a hot babe from work. 24 years ago. Still a hot babe.
     
  17. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    I'm sorry but someone had to point this out. Perhaps you didn't know that women are strongly discouraged from accepting drinks from people they don't know because of the danger of date-rape. You'd probably never dream of spiking a woman's drink with GHB or Rohypnol, but there are certain sickos out there who enjoy doing just that. Never buy a drink for a woman without her permission or knowledge. Instead, ask her politely if you can buy her a drink and then if she consents, ask the bartender for her drink.
     
  18. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Along that same line, you could ask the bartender what she's drinking, then have the bartender give her the drink and tell her it's from you.... then see if it goes anywhere.

    that way, you're kind of using the bartender as your 'matchmaker'. She'll either smile and return flirtatious glances... or put her back to you and drink the free drink :)
     
  19. Thorn

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    Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
     
  20. FlirtyChick

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    I was horribly shy at your age, but now I am "grown", and here is my point of view. Flirt, Flirt, Flirt. But be coy and engaging. Don't use the same old "Me Man, Wanna Fuck Woman" attitude. Be the cute boy next door type who just wants to date a nice girl. That way you would weed out the "Ho's" and probably end up chatting with the good girls. I really don't know what the hell I am talking about, because I never picked up a man in a bar, nor did one ever pick me up there. I met all my men by chance, and my hubby at work. He stalked me LOL! Good luck. :)