Phrases for Discussing Porn with Wife

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Logger, Aug 20, 2007.

  1. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    My wife is sometimes interested in watching porn,and most of the time she is at least OK with watching porn together. Sometimes my wife likes to tease me about my interest in watching porn. So I need some phrases to engage my wife in a discussion of the issues, to see if she has an issue with watching a that particualr time, or if she wants to vent about something related to sex.

    I enjoy porn with my wife, but I can switch off the porn, if my wife is really not in the mood for porn, for whaever reason.

    a. Is there something about watching porn right now that does not seem right to you?

    b. Are ther some moods when porn does not seem enjoyable for you, or bothers you?

    c. Do you feel that I have let you down in some way, so you find it easy to get even with me, by trashing my enjoyment of porn?

    d. To get me harder faster, would you prefer I take some medications like Viagra?

    e. I am sure that most women don't enjoy porn as much as men, as there is a visual satiation drive in most men. Is there some way you feel that I am not being considerate to your interests as a woman?

    f. Do you understand that it is because I want to be true to you, that I want to bring myself to full sexual satiation, with erotic visions, so that I have no interest in other women?

    g. Do you know that I see the best part of all the erotic visions in you, and with you? That I merge all the visions together in my mind with you?

    .
     
  2. cook74

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2007
    Messages:
    3,864
    Likes Received:
    5,908
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    Great thread starter Logger, I like both f. and g. but there is no way I could use either of them for anything more than a joke with my partner.

    She lets me watch it without hassle, but there is no way she would participate (Damn shame that).

    Lucky she has a great sense of humor, so Ill pull f. and g. out when the time is appropriate.
     
  3. cook74

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2007
    Messages:
    3,864
    Likes Received:
    5,908
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    OK I was wrong, I couldn't wait and tried f. on my partner straight away. I got a clip on the back of the head and a "You're an idiot" and "Shut up I'm trying to watch tv":spank

    :lol:lol:lol

    I'm too scared to try g.
     
  4. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    For g., there is a song, "You are every woman in the World to me." "You are my reality."

    h. If you don't like videos of actual living women, I can put on some cartoon fantasies.

    i. If you don't like the part with the men from outer space, there are parts with pictures of Earth men in some chapters, I can play in slow motion.
     
  5. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    J. I will certainly be your witness, that you pointed out failures to meet important ideals in the porn movies that I have on hand. If St. Peter asks if you watched porn on Earth, I will be able to honestly tell St. Peter that you often found fault with more than one aspect of each porn movie. In fact your criticsim of my porn movies was sufficiently negative, to actually reduce my enjoyment of the porn we watched together.

    K. Well single men often enjoy porn when masturbating. Marriage should be better than being single, so I should not have to give up porn during sex when married.

    L. Rather than pointing out what you don't like in the various porn movies I have on hand, why don't you encourage me to improve my movie editing skills? Why don't we take time on my day off to go to the Computer store and learn how to edit these DVD's?
     
  6. torridsex

    torridsex New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2006
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Logger, I have some questions if I may?

    Watching the porn is it before sex only or during sex?

    Also, are you thinking of the porn stars or her during sex?
     
  7. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Torridsex,

    Thank you for your thoughtful questions.

    There are several stages of sex for me.

    1. getting interested in foreplay

    2. Starting pre-foreplay preparations

    3. Getting my wife hot.

    4. Participating in rubbing with my wife.

    5. Stroking with my hips for my sexual enjoyment

    6. Getting my wife to climax, and limiting my stroking till she gets off.

    7. Enjoying my wife's climax and letting my enjoyment go to exhiliration.

    8. Squirting and enjoying my climax

    9. Pulling out the last fluid and toweling off the lubes around the privates. Turn off DVD.


    I enjoy porn images up until about stage 5. In stage 6 to 8, I am focusing on my wife and myself. In staged 9 I turn off the DVD with my remote.

    I don't think of the porn stars, as persons. The Holy Bible does not mention pictures of women in discussing lust. I have found some animated DVD's, so there are not any women to actually think aboutg, because they are drawings. When watching actresses in porn, I am not thinking of them as individuals, or trying to please them. They are erotic images to me, not women.

    During sex with my wife I do flash up mental images of women who have recently given me erotic thoughts. Those arousals are satisfied with my enjoying those mental images during sex with my wife. I don't tell her who I am thinking about during sex aith my wife. She does not ask. I have asked her for her thoughts during sex, but my wife has just been silent. I don't ask any more.

    For me, the song phrase, "You are every woman in the world to me. You are my reality" seems to describe my wife as my physical channel to the mental images of all other women or errotic visions, and the satisfaction of all errotic urges through my wife.

    I may have missed the true direction of your questions. But I tried to discuss the issues related to your questions. I gave you a gift of some grapes, to encourage you to share your further thoughts. Some women are deeply troubled by their husband watchin porn. I don't mean to be insensitve to their concerns. My wife is not troubled by porn, she just gets wound up by right wing Christians on the radio. Moslem religious conservatives are probably worse than the Christian fanatics.

    I keep my DVD's locked in an overnight bag, that has a zipper, that has locking holes in the zipper. I got a combination lock at an army surplus store, that fits through the little hole in the zipper, and locks the bag. The combination lock has a TSA key lock also in the bottom, so the lock will not be cut off, if I use the lock for an airline travel bag.




    .
     
    #7 Logger, Sep 4, 2007
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2007
  8. cook74

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2007
    Messages:
    3,864
    Likes Received:
    5,908
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    Damn Logger!! You are so thorough.:rockon

    At stage 9 I would have forgotten about the DVD.:lol
     
  9. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Step 9 is a challenge. I have to be careful to know where I left the remote, so I don't have to get up. I usually set the remote on a table next to the bed. But if I have left the remote in the bed, it will have often been tangled in the sheets, and be real tough to find.

    Fortunately, last night, I had put the remote on the table, but it was still an real mental effort to focus sufficientl to cut off the DVD.

    If I leave teh DVD on, my wife will sometimes become engrossed in watchin it, and ask me to turn up the sound. I usually just watch in silent. Then my wife will start ogling the other guys, and making comments, and I am wiped out, unable to respond.

    Step 9 is real important, to get the DVD shut down earlier than later.
     
  10. torridsex

    torridsex New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2006
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Thank you logger for the grapes. ;)

    Ok, first I will also say - you are very thorough. I'm not sure, I will not assume anything
    since I do not know her. If you truely believe that she is not actually bothered by the
    porn itself in the sense that, those perfect bodies remind us ladies of how imperfect we
    are.:down

    If it's not at all that then, let's move on. I do understand what you are saying about the porn
    being wrong in the eyes of some. That is something that is not an easy thing.

    One phrase you could use and she could give you a simple yes or no is
    "do you feel naughty?" hold up the porn, if your just wanting a quick answer that night.

    I feel that A, and B are good choices. I highly doubt it is c at all.
    Also, do you want to watch it everytime there is sex?
     
  11. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Torrid Sex,

    Thank you for your suggestion of a phrase, "Do You Feel Naughty?"

    I can do without porn any time my wife has an objection that seems like it might be serious. My wife enjoys jabbing me with barbs, so her criticism, to some degree, or another, is normal.

    My wife does not compare herself to others, or feel diminished herself by my watching porn. I had an otherwise wonderful lady partner, who would feel reduced self-confidence, if I turned my head for some passing cleavage. I found myself trying to reassure her of my love. So I know what you mean, but my wife is not like that.

    There are times when some preacher has wound her up against porn, and I sense her resistance on moral grounds, and I just shut it off, or avoid starting up for a week or so. I would enjoy Porn every time, but once or twice a week seems to avoid over-doing it.

    Do you use porn in your marriage? I bought some Las Vegas strip shows for softer porn. I ask my wife, "Would you like to go to Las Vegas tonight?"
    .
     
  12. torridsex

    torridsex New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2006
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Logger,

    Glad she is a self assured women.;) Sometimes men do not even realize to the
    degree that women feel so unsecure about how they look.

    You asked if we use porn, yes we do. That's a story in itself.

    You left me hanging......was it Viva Las Vegas or did she say maybe next time?

    Torridsex
     
  13. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Torrid Sex,

    My wife usually accepts invitations for trips to Las Vegas, by DVD shows. Occasionally my sife is in a mood to slam me. So I just remain ready to back off.


    M. If you could agree to delay criticism of my natural desires to enjoy visions of naked women, until tomorrow, that would allow me a safe zone to enjoy erotic visions tonight, without a nagging anticipation of your pointing out some sinful aspect of the visons I enjoy, and then I could feel more excited to get harder sooner, and stay harder longer, and have a gloriously pleasant memory of our tonight together, without criticsim.
     
  14. Bluesy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Nope, in fact, I'd find that rather insulting. Women want to know they "do it" for you and that the porn is merely a fun, frivolous accessory, not a visual Viagra :ugh That's essentially saying, "You aren't sexy enough to get me excited, ergo, I need to watch the porn." Bad move.

    It sounds like perhaps your wife isn't altogether happy with your porn-viewing habits...perhaps you should consider curtailing it to masturbatory use only.
     
  15. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Further questions to engage my wife in constructive dialogue to encourage her to express her feelings on Erotic DVD's.

    N. Can you explain your ideas a little further, about how men and women have different ideas about erotic pictures and movies?

    O. What dynamics do you see the part of male sexuality that enjoys erotic visions, with a focus of physical desire for the woman in my bed?

    P. What options for fuller satiation do you think we could do for each other?

    Q. Since I am asking you for accomodations with erotic images, what more can I do for your desires or interests, to be more accomodating to you?

    .
     
  16. loveit247

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,241
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Cape Town
    Dude! You seriously over analys things!
     
  17. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Love It 24/7,

    Your comment that I over-analyze indicates you are a good judge of character. Your qualities will make your insights valuable in a relationship.

    Good observation.

    What are your ideas about encouraging your partner to feel comfortable in enjoying erotic immages in foreplay? What feelings can you share with your partner that help set an open, trusting atmosphere for his maximized enjoyment of erotica with your encouragement?
     
  18. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    More conversational Questions:

    R. What is Bliss for you? What creates Bliss for me? Do you feel I am much different from other men?