perfect husband and human being but never in the mood for sex

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by tictac, Apr 8, 2007.

  1. tictac

    tictac New Member

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    i had been so concerned about my husband's sexual drive but yesterday he came back from visiting his ill dad (ill 2 months ago, sexual problems since 2005) and he asked me desperately for having sex and it was so so good because i felt so desired again , he did all the wonderful things he used to when we were just boyfriend and girlfriend
    we had such a great time, we made love twice which is very unusual for us in a day,i put on a sexy outfit and it really worked and i had the best orgasm ever !!!!!
    I'm so happy having him around again but I've just realized that i usually get too horny even when he kisses me or just touch me!! o when i feel his perfume, it even does not matter if he hasn't had a shower.is that common?
    we're always kissing or hugging to each other or saying "i love you" but as all you know i was worried about the "never in the mood thing" and MAINLY FOR his weird reasons for not having sex!

    I've talked to him from the bottom of my heart and explained my reasons for being concerned he understand and says that he thinks that is unfair to judge a man who is not so crazy about sex , despite the fact this men is responsible, cleans up, cooks,no drinking(just socially) no smoking, never says no to my requirements, pays the bills, doesn't go out with friends,do the dishes....and since we're Latin Americans that's very unusual for the "MACHO THING CULTURE" .
    he says that is unfair to judge a man who's got an "A" in everything but sex!! like if it was a fairly tale where the prince is:

    * handsome
    * rich
    * skilled lover
    * muscular
    * cleans up
    * cooks ETC ETC....... NO DEFECTS!!! HE SAYS ; do still women believe that life is a fairy tale??

    __________________
     
  2. cbrmale

    Gold Member

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    I am glad you talked and your husband gave you his side of the story. Even though he sounds like he is a good man, sex is but a small effort on his part for a big reward to you, so I hope you two can come up with a compromise that satisifies you both for the future.

    I recently wrote a novel, and I wanted a positive male theme to run through it because I feel that men are misunderstood these days. I asked a few women what their favourite turn-ons were, and I heard about his strength, his never-ending desire for love and sex and his scent! The last one surprised me, but every woman I asked talked about the scent of a man.
     
  3. SexyScorp

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    The problem with the differences in sex drives
    comes when one partner is ultimately left
    "hanging" so to speak.......

    How long are you prepared to live this way...and
    will you sacrifice this part of you for love...

    I have never met a man that matches my sex
    drive...

    ..so subsequently I have been left feeling a little
    deflated....

    Would your husband object to you having a "fill in"
    or a lover?
     
  4. cbrmale

    Gold Member

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    Sexyscorp,
    This is too true. In my marriage, my wife agrees to sex more often than would be her natural inclination, and I hold back a little out of consideration for her. It is a good compromise, I am very satisifed and she doesn't mind making an extra effort for me. I appreciate her for doing this for me (I worship her for doing this for me) so it really lubricates the wheels of our relationship in a way that defies description.
     
  5. SexyScorp

    Gold Member

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    I am increasingly hearing the words
    "one person cannot always fulfill
    another's needs".....

    I agree with this statement....

    ...that is probably why people have
    affairs and partake in swinging.....

    to fill in the cracks so to speak :)

    I dont blame them at all....

    Life is to be enjoyed and lived to
    the full...

    ...just wished I wasnt so damned
    choosy...

    :)
    lol
     
  6. irresister

    irresister New Member

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    I hate to ask this

    but has it ever crossed your mind that he might be gay?
     
  7. SexyScorp

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    Maybe he just finds it hard to
    be intimate....some men do
    (and women)..........

    Some men find it easier
    to connect with a woman
    when casual sex is involved
    there is less risk of becoming
    involved...

    There is a lot involved in
    surrendering yourself to a
    life time partner....

    Can be scary for some!!!
     
  8. tictac

    tictac New Member

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    sex and love

    thanks to all the advices that i got from different forums i talked to my husband and we found out after a psychologycal sesion that he's got some traumas from childhood and that has been affecting his life in a way...now things are much much better and i do love him!!!!! thanks a lot to everybody...
     
  9. SexyScorp

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    Is he getting counselling and help with
    his issues....hope so....for your sake
    as well as his...

    Good luck to you both...!!!

    I am still of the mind that lots of men
    who have sexual isses have deeply
    rooted psychological problems...

    Problems of intimacy often stem from
    a problematic childhood...

    Mother issues often have a strong
    bearing on the relationship a man will
    have with his lover!