People in sexless marriages your thoughts

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by privatepartner, Oct 5, 2017.

  1. Mikeylicksit

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    The bigger the fight, the bigger the make-up sex. Also, crazy... nobody fucks like crazy women.

    Pros and cons to both o_O
     
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  2. Ed69

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    Well I guess my wife and I are in that tiny percentage, and you are wrong.
    Our premarital counseling started with (1 Corinthians 7: 1-5) and continued from there. That counsel saved our marriage when my wife's sex drive tanked at the start of menopause and leveled off very low. I don't expect her to be the horny 19 year old at 45 and she does not let me go without regular attention in bed.We have an agreement that works well for us, she does not feel pressured and I don't feel abandoned sexually. That's us though, we have always been open and direct in our communication,we know other couples who are not.

    https://bible.org/seriespage/16-touchy-issue-1-corinthians-71-5
     
    #42 Ed69, Oct 18, 2017
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2017
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  3. privatepartner

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    Wrong? I'm glad you sat through our pre marital class with us I don't remember holding your hand through that and all this time I thought it was my wife. Who knew?
    I'm happy for you that your religion has brought you through difficult times but if you look at the divorce to success ratio nothing in the Bible is saving 50% of the marriages out there.
    It worked for you, celebrate that it did for sure.
     
  4. sensless

    sensless Well-Known Member

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    I think you've misunderstood him. I think he's just sharing his experience, which is nice.
     
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  5. privatepartner

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    Maybe read it again. My point is I went through the class and there was zero discussion about sexual relationship and what was going to come about when someone's sex drive tanked.
    Just like everything else it's not a one fits all situation.
    I have zero issue with him sharing his experience I even stated I was glad it worked "for them" many are not as fortunate.
     
  6. Ed69

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    Maybe my opening point was not clear to you. We got exactly the council you said does not happen, nothing was said about being in class with you.

    "Our premarital counseling started with (1 Corinthians 7: 1-5) and continued from there."
     
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  7. privatepartner

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    My point was you said I was wrong. My point was you didn't sit through my class it doesn't happen like that for everyone. Had wrong been left out there was zero issue
     
  8. Sagittarius84

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    I'm starting to think that there's an intentional agenda in place, when we start talking about how and why topics like sexual fulfillment are/are not discussed prior to marriage or long term commitments.
     
  9. Ed69

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    Never said I sat through your class, and as far as the word "wrong" get over it. Nobody is right all the time
     
  10. privatepartner

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    Apparently you are
     
  11. sensless

    sensless Well-Known Member

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    Sex is a taboo subject. Everybody does it, but talking about it is still taboo.
     
  12. Sagittarius84

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    I think it's because of the power sex wields within our social order. People who wish a power structure to remain the same, usually aren't interested in having its inner workings examined and scrutinized.
     
  13. sensless

    sensless Well-Known Member

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    I think ultimately it's a way to protect institutions such as marriage and monogamy.

    Just like not being real about sex is a way to make women still go for it. I think many women would abstain if they knew it's very often just at the service of male pleasure. Many women don't reach orgasm easily and most times, sex ends with the famous guy climaxing, rolling to the other side of the bed and falling asleep, leaving a dissatisfied woman frustrated.

    But sex is always portrayed as exciting, hot, and women orgasming easily from intercourse, simultaneously with the men.
     
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  14. Sagittarius84

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    I don't think any of this is by chance. Given the habits of female apes, there's evidence that women are inherently much more promiscuous and early childhood and social conditioning are integral in producing such deviance from sexual satisfaction.
    Ironically I think this is more of a symptom of media catering to men's eyes and tastes, and not really putting any thought into the message it sends towards women. The primary ego stroke of the male mind isn't simply the ability to get lots of sex, but to able to sexually satisfy a woman like no other. Hence why you'll notice in such media that portrays "easily orgasmic" women having sex with different guys on different occasions, there will be an obvious difference in her reactions to sex with the protagonist or "alpha" guy than with any other secondary or lesser character.
     
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  15. Sagittarius84

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    Yikes...swerved off topic, time to reel it back.
    I get the sympathy and communication aspect that is oft discussed when we speak about sexless marriages, it's a dynamic that fits a neat narrative about the supposed expectations when entering a marriage. But I do think there is a power dynamic in play that doesn't get the attention it deserves. We freely accept that people withhold communication, kindness, and empathy due to malevolent intent all the time, so I see value in at least exploring if that is a possible motive in sexless situations, especially given its obvious affect on a partner.
     
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  16. zena69

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    Better to find alternatives outside even living with sexless marriage.
     
  17. sensless

    sensless Well-Known Member

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    There's definitely a power dynamic in some cases. I even remember reading the term "sex strike". Withholding sex, because the man wasn't doing something. I'm talking deliberately, excluding the cases where she's genuinely hurt and simply doesn't feel desire towards he who's wronged her.

    It's taboo, because women have been penalized for so long, now, in the free world, we many times err in the oposite direction. It simply isn't politically correct to responsibilize women when a man is involved.

    In a forum like this, you won't find it seriously discussed either, because most male members only say what women like to hear. That actually comforts what I'm saying. They only say what women want to hear, because if not, women may decide not to share their photos with them. That's a small scale "sex strike".
     
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  18. cincy

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    My wife and I have been together for over 40 years, and we have sex multiple times a day. The trick is that she doesn't allow me to have an orgasm...she teases and takes me to the edge, and tells me to stop, your getting to wet. She has 2 or 3 orgasms a week. and I have 1 or 2 a month. I'm horny 24 hours a day and love living my life on the edge.
     
  19. privatepartner

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    Your balls have to ache constantly:confused:
     
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  20. cincy

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    My Balls usually start to ache at around 2 weeks...it's been 2 weeks as or today(had a ruined orgasm on the 11th) and my balls started to ache 2 days ago. I actually like the feeling, it's a constant reminder of how horny I am.