Parental relationships...

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by fantasien, Nov 3, 2009.

  1. fantasien

    fantasien New Member

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    I have started working with my mom on getting myself more independant and saving money for cosmetology school and moving sowo to the San Francisco. We are also starting to pay off old credit card debt, where she's fronting the cash and I am going to have to work it off by doing work and chores for her that I am already doing once Or twice a month for her anyway.

    The problem I am having is with my father. I had a good job going at Home depot and all of a Auden quit and ended up kind of regretting the move, but I had my reasons. But now I have been living here in my dads house for two plus years at age 25 with no steady progress paying my debts off until now, but even then I am still having to take care of it through my mom fronting cash for, while holding three part time jobs not being able to restrict myself to doin it on my own. I havnt been spending wisely with the money that I have earned through this temp jobs either. The orriginal plan when I moved in with my dad was ti pay these debts off.

    But now, I was starting to make plans ti start moving and finding a job in San Francisco. But nothing has worked out yet. Presumably because of my credit report and consumer reports that are involved in most background checks. But also I feel I havnt taken enough effort to put myself out there either.

    I am staying back and trying to find a job here back home for a few more months and then mo ing when my classes start in April, and hopefully sooner. So, my problem. I don't know how much longer my dad will let me stay here. And considering the ruff economy and him trying to keep his business afloat and paying the bills and making plans to rent out my sisters and soon my own room to make some more income, I have no clue when things are going to force me out before I am ready??!!!!
     
  2. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    I don't know your dad, you do. As a guess I think a long talk with him is in order. He may welcome it.
     
  3. HardRocker

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    If you expect to get at least respect (possibly leading to more support) from your Dad, you need to come up with a plan NOW. I mean sit down and plan realistic goals that will get you where you need to be financially and educationally.

    Anyone can get money for school. Student loans are available to people with bad credit, probably State backed, just with high interest rates. The school financial office has people that know how to help you. Ask them how to find grants and scholarships. The money is there. If you show dilligence, maybe in a year or two your parents will co-sign better loans for you; after all you'll have been doing something to become somebody, right?? People have dug out of deeper holes than yours. Make good grades.

    If your plan includes a job, whether part or full time, then make Finding-a-Job be a full time job. Spend 8 hours a day applying, interviewing and following up. Dress appropriately and keep contacting the managers. Call them by name and make sure they know who you are and that you want the job, because people like that are who they want. Start when you hit the floor tomorrow and don't plan on stopping.

    Don't play video games, they sap your intellectual energy. You need all of that now. Eat good and get plenty of sleep so you have energy.

    And don't give any of that easier said than done crap.

    And stand up straight, you hear me boy! :D
     
    #3 HardRocker, Nov 4, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 7, 2009
  4. fantasien

    fantasien New Member

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    I have been doing all that. I don't stay home and play video games. I eat right I manage my health and keep to task of what I need to do. It is the task of finding that job that is the hardest for me to keep at though.
     
  5. HardRocker

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    Well it sounds like you're doing alright then. One can only hope your Dad will support you as long as you're doing your best every day. That's all a parent can really expect, even if it took a little longer to get your fire lit. Some people are lucky to have more reasonable parents than others, but that's life too.

    My son flunked out of college right after high school. He aced the two college classes he was interested in, Biology and Math, and ignored the rest. Homeward bound he came. We let him live here as long as he had a full time job and finally gave him a deadline to find a way to support himself.

    When he saw his friends all graduating, and getting cool jobs - not being children anymore - he got pissed at himself and went back with a purpose. Now he's 25, a Junior Chemistry major/Math minor doing research and tutoring, his university's student-representative for the American Chemical Society, and loving it all.

    It took a while, but now he's as proud of his accomplishments as we are. And bye the way, he's up to his nostrils in student loans. He'll figure that out too.

    We wondered if he would ever ever wake up, but he did. It takes some longer than others.