Parental Nudity Around Their Kids

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by MyIcarus, Nov 13, 2010.

  1. MyIcarus

    MyIcarus New Member

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    I was reading over one of Kermit's postings and it made me think of something else (did I mention I'm A.D.D....oOoo...something shiny! - lol)

    My ex used to run around the house nude, making breakfast and getting her boy off to school (he was around 8 yrs old.) I do need to explain that this was in Australia btw, but I have had many friends from all over Europe and none are as "free" with themselves as that household.

    Normally I have no issues with nudity and am quite happy to trounce around nekked if it's just me and my partner. But in that relationship I simply could NOT do it because of her son. I believe my dislike for the situation led partially to the finalization of the relationship.

    So, my question to the rest of my cohorts in crime...

    What do you feel about adults (meaning parents/partners) being nude around children?
     
  2. Mittimer

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    Depends on the age of the child. Honestly at 8 years old, that can be something that Department of Children and Families carts your ass away in the patywagon for.

    After a certain age it really isn't excusable to expose your children to nudity of adults. Parental or not.
     
  3. Kermit

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    lol, which post of mine was it?

    Personally my parents didn't cavort around nude, though as a child i did have many accidental run ins with my mom before i learned to knock. Though one time my mom was standing nude with the door open. Her back was too me so she didn't see me. We just were embarassed and never spoke of it. Now my wife, I'm not sure how it was when she was a kid, is frequently topless or nude around her 14 year old daughter. I've never said anything as I accept it as a family dynamic as I've assumed this has been going on for years long before i even met my wife. And besides, I'm not gonna tell her to cover up I'll get to see her naked (i'm used to it but we're still newly weds lol). But we both agree that it's inappropriate for me to be nude in front of her daughter. I'd be extremely uncomfortable even if she said it was okay, and wouldn't do it.

    But in answer to your question, we should all are free to set our own boundaries and i believe it's not damaging to a child's development to see a parent nude and may in fact be beneficial in a sense so that they know what a real man or woman looks like outside of the media or movies or wherever in terms of body image but on the other side of the coin, modesty isn't a bad thing to teach either.
     
    #3 Kermit, Nov 13, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2010
  4. Skeptix

    Skeptix New Member

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    I'd say up to age 3 to 4 is acceptable for parents of opposite sex, a bit older seems fine for parents of the same sex. 3 to 4 because that's generally when kids begin to get chattier and notice such differences. Honestly, I don't want my daughter to have memories of my penis. I want to teach my children modesty, not shame.
     
  5. Kermit

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    Yeah that's the key, the thin line between shame and modesty.
     
  6. Skeptix

    Skeptix New Member

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    just to clarify...
     
  7. Kermit

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    Don't worry I didn't notice, i got your meaning in the origional post :)
     
  8. Hot Wheels

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    Its a two way thing too....after years of living with just her mother, my teenage daughter came to live with me....
    She insisted on walking round the house in the nude, going from the bedroom to the bathroom naked, getting up in the morning and coming out for breakfast with just a pair of pants on.....etc etc
    I mean....how friggen hard is it to wrap a towel around you or throw on a T shirt FFS's....:eyes
    It took several serious talks with her to get her to just cover up a little...
    Eventually, she saw my point of view when I had a mate call on me one Sunday morning.
    Were sitting at the kitchen table having a coffee and out she comes....starkers!!:eek
    I don't know who was more embarrassed, my friend or her....but at least it got the point across.....:ugh
     
    #8 Hot Wheels, Nov 13, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2010
  9. Rozenkavalier

    Rozenkavalier New Member

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    We are really talking about what's natural vs. what in most juridictions in the US gets your kids put in foster care and you charged by Child Protective Services. In the US interpretations are so broad it's always best to stay covered.

    I've know nudists who were arrested when they brought their vacation pictures in to be developed by conventional people.
     
  10. Dragon_Fire

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    I feel there is nothing wrong with nudity in front of children as long as is not in a sexual context. Unfortunately somewhere along the line, society starts telling everyone that nudity is dirty and immoral and that is where the harm lies in my eyes.

    I have taken my daughter to a nudist beach when she was younger (about 5 -6 years old, she stayed clothed). I probably would take her again but I think my ex would create dramas about it - not that he is a saint, just that he would use any excuse to make waves.
     
    #10 Dragon_Fire, Nov 14, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2010
  11. Untamed

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    I think same sex between females is fine from all ages.. because I am one. It was fine with my mother and I.

    I wouldn't know about father/son situations and how that would be. I know while I was with my sons father that they never got to see their fathers genital area as he and I dressed before we exit the bathroom. That is what I still do.

    I used to shower with my children when they were wee babies as they loved the closeness and massaging water on their backs. But I personally think that when they begin to get very curious (1.5 -3 years) it's better to just start covering up :)
     
    #11 Untamed, Nov 14, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2010
  12. MyIcarus

    MyIcarus New Member

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    See, I'm of the same mental process as most of you. I'm not keen on kids seeing adults of the opposite sex in the buff.

    To make things even worse, my fiance and I would sleep in the nude and after one morning waking up with her son cuddled against both of us I decided that clothing was then mandatory - or he couldn't just come into the bedroom and sleep with us. I've never been in a relationship that made me feel dirty before, but that one did. *shudders*
     
  13. lbushwalker

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    Well my wife and I always used to cruise around starker and our kids grew up considering that just natural. Often our young boys would tease me about my growing girth but never anything else but then eventually the eldest (girls) at age 13 gave us a lecture on what was appropriate so we reluctantly gave away that free lifestyle and still regret it to this day.
    WTF we are nudists in disguise still yet!
     
  14. SteveWaste

    SteveWaste New Member

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    Since we live in a society that requires people to be clothed the majority of the time, especially around children, it is up to parents to instill this in their children as they develop. Being naked around them at a time when they are supposed to be learning personal responsibility and emotional independence can severely hinder the development of proper social practices; whether the parent would think so or not. It is much like mothers who breastfeed until ridiculous ages because they can't stand the emotional separation of the weaning process. YOUR wants and desires don't matter nearly as much as properly raising an emotionally and mentally stable and independent child. Don't prance around naked in front of your kids, especially after they can walk and talk, let alone read and do arithmetic.

    ~Steve
     
  15. Untamed

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    Good post Steve
     
  16. luvbug

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    I have to agree with Steve!! Excellent post!
     
  17. magnetism

    magnetism New Member

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    I agree with Steve too, however if an accident should happen and an unwanted view occurs I think that has to be handled in a way that doesn't make the child feel shame or fearful.
     
  18. SteveWaste

    SteveWaste New Member

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    Very true Magnetism. If such a dissonant event should occur, that dissonance must be addressed and dissociated by the child's parents.

    Sometimes I really feel like a thread-killer. I really am sorry if that's the case.

    ~Steve
     
  19. MyIcarus

    MyIcarus New Member

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    Steve, your words are eloquently put and true as an arrow. Wonderful posting - a pleasure to read :)
     
  20. luvbug

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    I dont think parents and teenagers should run around naked....but thats just me. lol