Pain (for pleasure) and sex/foreplay

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by HotForHoney, Jun 19, 2017.

  1. HotForHoney

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    I've been experimenting with pain during sex (spankings, wartenberg wheel, and now candle wax).

    It's exciting the anticipation plus the high/low of pain and recovery (ex - after a few spanks, he rubs my ass to take the sting out).

    I don't know how else to explain it.

    Is anyone else into this type of play? Experiences/comments?
     
  2. Joe Bloe

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    Absolutely. My wife doesn't seem to enjoy being the recipient anywhere near as much as I do. We got a flogger with a cheap restraint kit and I love it. I also got a tawse (leather paddle, split down the middle) that I also love. Particularly if I've had a bad day, I can let her have total control and these just let me let go.

    I have to trust my wife to know when to stop to not leave bruises or marks. I have a high threshold for pain. I thought she was being way too light with the tawse the first time, but the next day every time I sat down I felt it, which was kind of hot.

    We also got a set of candles for wax play, but they burned a lot hotter than I expected so I'm a bit afraid to use them, even though they are designed to 'burn cooler' and be used for wax play. I had red welts from it, but they were gone by the time I showered after sex so maybe I was just too cautious. Definitely too hot to use on my wife though.
     
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  3. sensless

    sensless Well-Known Member

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    I give pain, but don't receive. I've never tried it seriously, just one isolated slap on the butt, just the one. Sometimes a man does it, but without really hiting, because it's one of my boundaries.

    I think one day I'll try, but only with a real dom and all the trimmings. Or not. In general, I don't like pain.
     
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  4. HotForHoney

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    Thanks for the candle tip. I guess being with a fireman has its advantage - he had ice nearby

    I've seen massage oil candle that was no where near as "hot" as the candles.
     
  5. MariaMaria

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    The only thing remotely painful I've done is using nipple clamps. I like that they give me a-little-sting kind of feeling, and that certainly adds another layer of pleasure to an orgasm. I don't like real pain, though. Once, I left them on for too long and taking them off was painful and certainly not a turn on.
     
  6. BeBop

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    Yes, pain/pleasure play is something I (now) do regularly. It is definitely something you kind of have to build up to - you don't jump right in with the "intense" stuff. (I mean, you could, but I wouldn't say it's the best idea.) Starting kind of simple and light and increasing the intensity as you get used to one level. And I still really try to avoid anything that could end up with bleeding because I still have that phobia of blood. :confused:

    Flogging/spanking, candle wax, having my balls and cock roughly squeezed or slapped, (very careful) choking - things of that nature are now on my list of things I enjoy. Not every time, but more frequently than those "For your birthday" type occasions. ;)

    My bit from another similar thread:

    "Pain teaches you your limits, how to push those limits, and how to go beyond those limits. It leaves your body in a state of being completely "tuned in" to every little touch; every sensation. Any pleasurable sensations after the pain has faded - even slightly - feel like they've been cranked up way past normal. To about a 13 out of 10. This can be augmented even more with the use of a blindfold. Being unable to see kicks all your other senses into high gear."
     
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  7. Spark

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    Very much into receiving pain for pleasure and have really enjoyed violet wands, wartenburg wheels, spanking and other types of impact play.

    Anticipation is one of my favourite parts too. Love the buzz of having to expose myself while I know what's going to happen. I also like the aftermath of the pain itself.
     
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  8. KellSou

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    I am beginning a journey into this area with my new sexual interest. My hubby and I are seeing others while still married and mine happens to be a Dom. He wants to introduce me to impact play and sensation play. I am very excited. Two more weeks until our first session and I am already making myself wet dreaming about it.
     
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  9. Amature

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    No, we haven't. My wife wanted me to slap her on the ass one time, but I just couldn't get into it. I'm in so much chronic pain I don't want anymore, and I don't want to inflict pain on others.
     
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  10. Somebodys_Pet9527

    Somebodys_Pet9527 New Member

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    Oh, yes absolutely! She spanks me and makes me count the number of spanks shes given to me and I love it.
    Its all just in the moment. I trust my girlfriend enough to know that she won't hurt me intentionally as she knows I won't hurt her.
    Its all just in good fun.
     
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  11. MasseurNaturel

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    I know several people who enjoy either giving or receiving pain at varying levels of pain and play with them to indulge in their fun. I'm not particularly into it myself but I'm ok with it and enjoy making other people happy doing what they enjoy doing. Sometimes it's because they want to try something new for the first time which is always fun. Some enjoy being on the receiving end of pain, some enjoy giving the pain.

    When giving I will do whatever they want me to do. Mild pain I'm absoultely fine with, I don't enjoy giving out more severe pain as I'm not that type of person, but if they enjoy it and get a kick out of it then I will do it. The key is always to slowly build towards their known pain threshold in varying different ways rather than just one way. Trust is the most important thing but everyone I play we have complete trust in each other. If I feel they could go just a tiny bit further than their pain threshold I will try it if I think they will enjoy it and can be pushed just a tiny bit further.

    When receiving I only enjoy mild pain. Any sort of bondage play for me is far more about the submission and blindfolds and restraints and varying types of punishment rather than about the pain involved.

    Of the things mentioned I've given & received spankings (probably the most common thing I do, paddles, whips and crops are great), but only ever given wartenberg wheels and candle wax. I enjoy dildos, butt plugs, strap-ons and most other things being pushed in my ass, been subjected to ball dividers and stretchers, and cock harnesses and cages.

    I know ladies who enjoy the pain from speculums and proctoscopes, nipple & labia clamps and weights, and also have fun both giving and receiving playing with douches and enemas. Candle wax is probably the most pain I've given out, I wouldn't like to receive that myself. I've been heavily restrained and subjected to a sex machine whilst also being whipped which was probably the most pain I've taken.

    The thing about being restrained is it adds to the anticipation, which is a huge part of the thrill of any pain play, it's not only a case of how much will it hurt but the knowledge you can't physically do anything about it as it happens. But afterwards, either mixed into the play or after the play has ended, using cooling massage creams is a great way to soothe any pains.
     
  12. SexyFantasyGirl

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    I like LIGHT pain in a fantasies like a spanking,pinching nipples, pulling hair and so on.

    but real pain to the point people really get hurt, no thanks that's a turn off for me.
    I'm into giving/receiving pleasure a lot more then torture
     
    #12 SexyFantasyGirl, Jul 29, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2017
  13. Lovnflman

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    Hair pulled, nipples bitten, cock nibbled.... But no real PAIN!
     
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  14. Barent

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    I believe that the release of endorphins is probably the main reason some people enjoy this. The body can be safely tricked into thinking it is in pain and needs relief. I have never done this, or had it done to me, but it's a fascinating subject.
     
  15. BeBop

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    Yes, this, for the scientifically minded. It's the same reason that you find people "addicted" to exercise or spicy foods. The bodies natural reaction to pain (anticipated or real) is to dump those endorphins and adrenaline and kick into high gear.
     
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  16. cook74

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    I did this a bit in my 20s, but every now and again it got a little out of hand as we were neither organized, mature enough or sober...
    Sometimes we got it right and we both enjoyed it on those occasions.
     
  17. luv2taste

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    There is a fine line between pain and pleasure.....................
     
  18. rockypeak

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    My GF likes a little ass spanking during sex, but its hard for me to do... I'm afraid to hurt her... she says I don't do it hard enough and wants more...
     
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  19. DrinkMeIn

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    Love spanking as part of my sex life. Not just a swat or two but a long hard spanking, with hand and belt.
     
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  20. Kinkycouple00

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    I had sex with a woman few yrs older than I, as we were getting started she caned me gently and later when I grabbed her and took under my control she provoked me to cause her pain. She asked me hurt her back for caning me, the more I spanked the more she seemed to love it. I have inflicted pain on other partners before, but this lady wanted more than any woman had ever asked for it. I bit parts of her body including her nipples and she'd slap me say that it was awesome. We had really wild and dirty sex that night ;)
    did you try any such stuff?
     
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