Overstimulating... and then nothing x_x

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by BareHands86, Apr 16, 2007.

  1. BareHands86

    BareHands86 New Member

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    Arright so I've recently started having sex with my girlfriend not too long ago. It was her first time which I don't want to use as an excuse, but I think it'll be a lot harder to get her to orgasm then other girls I've had.

    She's never had one herself, and when I tried the most I could do was overstimulate her <.<; I'm ashamed to say that I couldnt really find ANY of her sweet spots. Her butts off limits except to grab, and she says that she "can watch me suck her nipples all day", but at the same time she lacked any signs of her actually enjoying it (which in turn means that I dont really enjoy it..)

    It was her first time so I didnt expect her to have a vaginal orgasm, but she couldnt have a clitoral one either which completely dumbfounds me. She couldnt do it herself either! She said she could make it feel good, but nothing that would be described as an orgasm.

    I need to know how to stimulate her (all ways preferably) without her being OVER-stimulated (she told me it was painful >_o)

    Any help would be outstanding =\

    Thanks
     
  2. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Patience and practice. That's the only way. Sex is an exploration. It's not just about the orgasm, but the entire journey from the first hint of expectation/desire, to the cuddling afterward. Don't start at "I want to make her cum". Start at "I want to make her feel the best she's ever felt" and go from there. Help her explore, and enjoy exploring her, and it's sure to be amazing. Don't take it as you not knowing what you are doing, but that she is just learning how all of this is supposed to feel and what it's supposed to do to her body (I hate the words "supposed to").

    If she says that she can watch you suck her nipples all day, then it does do something for her. She has not yet learned the ways to express that.....but she's already got a huge head start because she's communicating so openly with you (about that, and about the soreness from overstimulation or trying too hard). I suggest you start much more slowly, with really heightening the foreplay and exploring with her until you find those spots, and she finds that fire......
     
  3. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    It's really hard to follow Mel as She really has a grasp on love and life
    However I would like to change one line.

    [QUOTE"I want to make her feel the best she's ever felt"][/QUOTE]

    too (I want to make Her feel loved like She has never been loved)

    Hiker:sf
     
  4. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    Feeling loved and being loved are two completely different things.

    One will last forever, the other can be a big let down!
     
  5. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    Hard to say BH but if she has never orgasmed it might take some action on her part too. Maybe some of the women can explain it better but she may just need to learn her body more and trust when to let go :shrug It's a learning experience for her and you'll have to encourage her along the way. Keep at it I'm sure she will cum.
     
  6. Yangus

    Yangus New Member

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    My gf was a virgin when we got together and it took her a while to cum when we "messed around" (we didn't actually have intercourse for a while). I think her problem though was that she was afraid and couldn't "let go" and let herself orgasm. She said that for a while she interpreted it as pain and wouldn't let herself enjoy it.

    Maybe this woman just needs a little time to adjust and let herself lay back and enjoy it?
     
  7. HardRocker

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    In your eagerness, remember not to be too rough when fingering her clitoris and vagina. Especially with dry fingers, that can cause way too much stimulation. You can add to her wetness with your tongue or some lube. Just go easy, try kissing her all over and start by just barely touching her pussy until there is enough wetness. Then when you can insert a finger, slip it in and out slowly dragging it up over her clitoris to get moisture there too. Keep going back in for more moisture. You're on your way, don't get bucked off!
     
  8. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    BareHands86, you didn't mention it in your first post but I assume you are going down on her ?
     
  9. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Another negative reply from
    our resident grouch.

    Hiker:yell
     
  10. Nettle

    Nettle Member

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    It took me quite a while to learn how to let go and have an orgasm.

    I had never given myself an orgasm, I had tried touching myself and had found it felt too intense to the point of pain. I had not yet learned that indirect stimulation was better, or the need for more lubrication.

    She probably doesn't know what she likes or needs yet, and you can explore this together, but I would say... be gentle with her clit, direct contact is too much, and may be what is causing the over stimulation.

    You both need to forget about making her cum, and just enjoy pleasuring each other. I find the harder I try to cum, the less likely it is to happen.

    Just relax and enjoy.
     
  11. BareHands86

    BareHands86 New Member

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    All good advice

    Mike, ya thas wut i was tryin to do. It's my favorite part <.<

    Unfortunately its a semi-long distance relationship and I dont get to see her enough for continual practice. But I want to do my homework on all of this before I try again.

    thanks