overstepping my bounds part 2

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by jaguar, Jun 2, 2007.

  1. jaguar

    jaguar New Member

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    If any of read my post did I overstep my bounds this may help understand this part 2, haha.
    Some advice on how to overcome this feeling from the great people of this forum is welcome. I just can't seem to get over this feeling of being replaced. Am having a hard time even being around her now and the joking has stopped (on my part) completely! I feel I need to just get over it and move on, but her feeling are also starting to get hurt. She thinks I want nothing to do with her just because she has a boyfriend now. There is more to my feeling than just that. The other day I watched from our office her getting into the boyfriends truck going to lunch and felt sick to my stomach. She asked what was bothering me, and I said lets go talk in my office. Man! I just layed into her his age really bothers me! 35 and 23? What guy at 35 has a my-space with booze and naked women, 2 of his top 8 friends are porno stars, and what 35 year old man would want to date a 23 year old? I told her I was pissed her parents would welcome a relationship with a guy 12 years older than their daugther! She just listened not saying to much but said he is funny, makes her laugh, and is real nice. I should not judge him until I meet him. I told her I have been thru this before with BOTH my daughters with husband 11 years older and it ended in a terrible devorce. My other daughter had a 10 year older boyfriend and ended in a nightmare! I said I am just worried and concerned for her. Well, I'm a mature 23 and he is a immature 35 so we do get along great! OK. Part of me has lost that funny joking side with her, and as she says, I always make her day! Well that is the boyfriends job, not mine. Part of me just worries about her getting hurt by this guy who in my opinion just wants a piece of ass. I want to remain friends but just can't go back to the way I was, and this is awkward for the both of us. Do 23 year old girls really look at men 35? I asked my daughter (22) if she would go out with a 34 year old man? NO! why not? Because I'm only 22. Help feel in between the lines here and help me make some sence of what I'm feeling. Thanks guys and gals
    Jag
     
  2. Barbwire

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    Good GOD!!!!!! Um, how old are you? If I recall correctly, a lot older than her b/f, and you are obviously head over heels for her. Let her be, let her live her life, make her own mistakes. You are not her father, you are not her lover. Come on man, see the light!
     
  3. RainbowMuncher

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    I recently have been completely emotionally torn but a man I have been in love with for sometime and..I guess I put him on a pedestal and you should NEVER do that.. lol.. well.. I have a hard time communicating because of my childhood and he didn't understand it and yelled at me for it..but some of it was my fault as well..<.< but still.. he was very inconsiderate of my emotions and it all blew over.. It's best to move on. If she have told her everything you can and cannot emotionally stand being friends with her while she is dating others.. it is best to leave her be. I have to completely agree with Cowboy Lover. There is no use to letting yourself be depressed further. And, if you are having a hard time moving on, occupy your mind and do physical activities if you can. Do something you enjoy that won't make you think much about her. It might not help for ever.. but it will help for a while and one day, if you feel the need, you can just sit down and over analyze everything (if you are cursed like i am.. lol) and have a good, long relieving cry. Just.. don't stay in bed for an entire month..>.> Bad idea..
     
  4. Joe

    Joe
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    What CL said. *nods* You obviously have a crush on the young lady, and you should simply get over it. (I know, easier said than done!) As for the age difference, it's not at all uncommon for young women to be more attracted to older guys. My wife (10 years younger than I) says she's never been attracted to a guy who wasn't older. Her first husband was 9 years older. I had a brief "fling" with a much younger gal when I was in my mid-40s -- she was in her mid-20s. The age difference bothered me, but not her. She also said she was never attracted to guys unless they were older. It's very common. Your own daughters apparently felt somewhat the same way.

    At 23 she's old enough to make her own decisions. Let her. If the guy is a mistake, she'll discover it eventually. Anyone she dates, at any age, could be a mistake. Sorry Jag, I just think you're jealous of the guy. Give it up.
     
  5. HouseHunny

    HouseHunny New Member

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    Like CL and Joe have said....It is apparent that you have a crush. Yea you may care about her, but there is nothing you can do to make anything different. That chick needs to be able to make and learn from her own mistakes, if she is indeed setting herself up. IMO, you should stay away from this girl, because it is starting to sound like there is much more involved than you trying to just give fatherly advice.... This could end up blowing up in your face and even affect the family you do have.
     
  6. LaVitaDolce

    LaVitaDolce New Member

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    I also agree with CL. Obviously you have alot of feelings for her and definately need to move on. Some people just have to live their lives and learn things the hard way. Maybe the guy isn't so bad... Like you said, you haven't even met him yet. To me age is nothing but a number so it wouldn't bother me if I was with an older guy. I also agree 100% with Joe and HouseHunny. Best wishes! :)
     
  7. jaguar

    jaguar New Member

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    Thanks everyone, and yes it is all great advice, maybe except for CL who wants to kick my ass, haha. I know what I need to do. Will give an update maybe a few weeks from now.
    thanks again for the reply s.
    Jag