overpowering glove fetish

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by Onxymornatic, Nov 17, 2007.

  1. Onxymornatic

    Onxymornatic New Member

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    Hi, I started this thread before the server outage and data loss.

    To recap.

    I have an overpowering fetish for gloves, sometimes it sits in the background and does not really bother me, this time of year (UK, winter) it can get prominent. This year it is bad (because of the fact that long leather gloves have made a comeback), when i'm out in the city I'm looking for women wearing gloves, esp long ones just to see the gloves.

    My wife, She will not wear gloves for sex, or as an general accessory she only wears gloves for practical reasons (washing up and when it is cold).

    I decided to go and see a counselor and I am waiting for the appointment (I went to my doctor who has refered me.)

    At the moment, I feel odd as I was in the city with my wife earlier and when we coming home, we passed a couple and the women was wearing long leather gloves. We were on public transport at the time, I wanted so much to get off and go and have a better look. I dislike feeling like that, I feel like a stalker. I could not say anything to my wife, I wish I could, but I get a feeling of annoyance from her when gloves are mentioned.

    I feel like my fetish is taking control.

    Somethings I have thought about doing, when I am out with my wife, If I spot long gloves on a mannequin in a shop or being worn. Do I mention it to my wife, 'Those gloves are quite cool'?

    I hope the counseling will help.

    Cheers.
     
  2. Bluesy

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    Hey, good for you! :) That was a very courageous thing to do, hon!

    But you didn't get off the train and follow her, and that's what matters. It's not what's in your mind that defines you, it's your behavior.

    I really hope things start to get better for you soon. Keep us updated on your situation, Ok? *Hugs!*
     
  3. Onxymornatic

    Onxymornatic New Member

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    Thanks Bluesy for the support.

    I did lapse today slightly tho. As I was walking a woman was coming toward me wearing what looked like long gloves holding an umbrella up. As I drew level, I could see she was wearing long purple gloves to the elbow. I stopped her and complemented her on the gloves.

    I felt a bid bad afterwards about it, that I should not have done it. The gloves were a fantastic purple with buttons at the wrist. She had style.
     
  4. Bluesy

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    Purple with buttons at the wrist? :whoa Sounds like something so aesthetically fabulous, even I would've been moved to comment on them ;) Seriously...it's Ok. The self-inflicted shame that follows every little slip-up is a thousand times worse than the slip-up. It serves absolutely no purpose except to wear your self-esteem down and weaken your resolve, and you deserve better than that. Treat yourself the way a supportive and nurturing friend would. No shame, just "Oops, I made a mistake; I guess I'm human after all!" I think that at this stage of the game it would be very realistic to keep your expectations lowered. It takes time and practice to get really good at recovery.
     
  5. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I suppose I'm still stuck on why your wife will not accommodate your fantasy/fetish from time to time. There seems to be no demeaning qualities in your love of a woman's hands in gloves. I know you've stated that the subject cannot be addressed without confrontation.

    Have you asked her (or do you know) why she is so adamantly against it? Do the two of you do any other off-beat things in the bedroom, or is sex considered something that should remain 'vanilla' - with no props or toys or additional stimuli? These questions may have been covered in the 'lost data', but I was just wondering...
     
  6. Onxymornatic

    Onxymornatic New Member

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    She says she dislikes wearing gloves and she sees them as practical items, i.e to protect the hand from cold and to do the dishes/cleaning. When we have 'sex' it is vanilla, she is against blind folding, being tied or tieing, dislikes having her legs and feet touched, even when I give her oral. she finds it annoying.

    I am really ticklish and she tickles me far too often, she can caress me just how I like it but does not. I sometimes dislike being tickled but I put up with it as it normally turns in to sensual touch. But my wife does not give in like that, her legs are a no go area. Also she dislikes it when I straddle her, even I have no intention of penetrating her, she does not want intercourse yet, but she still tells me to get off her, I personally find it easier to caress her neck and breasts when I am on top.

    I hope she realises what she is missing soon, I think within time she will come round to most aspects of touch and sex. Also she is very against her masturbating herself, she will not do it at all and it is a bit of a closed subject.

    I hope that helps in understanding the problem a bit more.
     
  7. Dreama

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    Aww. Your wife seems a bit frigid, so I can understand perhaps where this whole thing stemms from. I think if she were a little less set on being 'vanilla' in the bedroom this might not be as big an issue. Perhaps you should go to counseling together. I do think you're dealing with everything fabulously, though.
     
  8. Barbwire

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    I think that Dreama is correct. Your issues with your wife go a lot deeper than just the glove thing. It sounds like you have a long road ahead of you to get her to open up and be freer, sexually. Good luck, hon.
     
  9. Onxymornatic

    Onxymornatic New Member

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    Thank you all.

    How I would love for my wife and I to see a sexual counselor, however my wife is dead set against the idea, I originally brought it up when she was totally unwilling to do anything sexual at all.

    I hope I can persuade my wife to see a counselor at some point. As I have an appointment to see a Psycho-Sexual counselor regarding my glove fetish, should it not be a single session (that depends on if the counselor thinks it is worth referring.) I hop that may want my wife to come along as well.

    Cheers.
     
  10. Bluesy

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    I hope she'll decide to accompany you at some point...your counselor may even make that suggestion. In the meantime, you're doing a very smart thing and I really think you're going to find your life getting easier and better. As they say in the serenity prayer, "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can..." We can't change other people, we can only change ourselves, work on our own issues, change our reactions towards others' actions.

    More good wishes to you and *hugs!*
     
  11. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    She'd dead set against the idea of seeing a counselor? You've been married now for over a year (I recall reading your earlier posts) and you two still haven't gotten around to consummating the marriage...

    And according to her this is not a problem? It sounds like she has a deep-seated fear of having sex that she is so embarrassed about that even talking to a counselor is out of the question.

    I don't have any advice but I hope things turn around for you soon.
     
  12. Barbwire

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    Thanks to Puss, I went and read all of your previous posts, Oxy, and I suggest you RUN don't walk, away from this marriage.
     
  13. Dreama

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    Wait, wait. She will not have sex at all, ever? Is that what I'm seeing?
     
  14. Onxymornatic

    Onxymornatic New Member

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    Dreama, Let me explain about my sex life.

    My wife will not have penetrative sex currently. She will let me go down on and she will give me a handjob.

    What she wont do however is give me a blowjob, tongue kiss, kiss for long (about 5 or 6 kisses then she breaks off), lip nibble/suck, kiss my neck (well she will once or twice, then stops and I mean kisses) working her way down my chest (it is a bit hairy and she looks at in disgust, I have suggested shaving it which she thought looked a bit silly the last time I had it shaved). She won't just caress me, it's amazing when she does most of the time she resorts to ticking, which is starting to grate, I used to like a bit of ticking, but it is all the time when she touches me. Her legs are a no go area, as are her breasts and both fannys (read UK and US meanings) unless she wants me to go down on her, but normally she will not let me touch her breasts. Some of the things she puts down to her Eczema, sometimes her skin is quite bad, she also says I open my mouth too wide when I kiss and leave her mouth and lips wet (part of me wants to ask the nearest woman for a passionate kiss and tell me how it is, just to see if it is me or my wife).

    I think counseling for the both of us will help. I don't know why she does not want penetration or why she is reluctant to do the things above, she does not really say why, just I don't want to. She does not seem able to express her feelings, and just resorts to I don't know.

    @CL. I have thought about leaving her numerous times, I love her a lot and I believe that we can get past these sexual issues and have a normal sex life.

    Thanks.
     
  15. heelfetish

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    Trying to piece this all together... Have you ever had penetrative sex with her?
     
  16. Dreama

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    Wow, hun. I don't understand. You are not the one with the issue here. I think your fetish wouldn't be an issue, if your wife were not so screwed up sexually. She needs help, really. It's good that you're seeing someone, but she needs help more than you do. Did something happen to her? She seems like she's also very condescending, even when you try to do things for her. IF she doesn't get some professional help, I fear that your relationship will never progress into a 'normal' or healthy relationship! Good luck, hun. In my eyes, you're a saint.
     
  17. Barbwire

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    I just can't wrap my head around you marrying, and staying married to, a woman that has never told you she loves you and won't make love to you.

    You say you love her too much to give up, but I think you should maybe divert that love to yourself and realize you are being treated like shit. You deserve more, much more, than you are being given. You know that, right?
     
  18. Dreama

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    I second CLs statement. You deserve better, especially if she's never told you she loves you!
     
  19. heelfetish

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    The more I read the more I agree with Dreama. I think this woman, and as a result, this relationship, is a complete loss. I don't believe you are the one with the problem, I think the problem is hers and hers alone. I'd say that love is enough, but it doesn't sound to me like she loves you back.

    I think you are perfectly justified in ending the marriage, as difficult as that may be. The relationship seems dysfunctional beyond repair, in my very humble opinion. :(
     
  20. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Have you ever discussed "love" - aside from the whole sexual problem?
    I'm wondering - - -
    How did you meet?
    What drew you to her, and her to you?
    Was there a sensual, or even 'romantic' aspect to your courtship?
    Is there a religious conotation to the 'taboo' aspect toward anything sexual?