Not really looking for advice. Just haven't been able to tell anyone yet. My wife and I have been together since 04' and married since 09'. We have a very open communication style where we tell each other everything. Fantasies, goals, whatever. Well, long ago before we were even married, I began telling her my fantasies of her having a lover. I am a whisperer. A sexual whisperer that is. I whisper during sex. And after years and years of whispering sexy scenario´s in my wife´s ….increasingly receptive ears....I finally have actual real news worth sharing. But first, our history. A few years ago we decided that having a semi-open relationship in reality....is something we both would like to consider. Discussion´s about specific people began. Texting, sexting, and other things like this with certain specific people began. It was unnerving a little bit at first. The gentleman she chose was an ex, with an impressive cock, who is her past “favorite” lover. I started in with questions, my questions made her defensive thinking I was angry. So things stalled for a while. It was my fault and it set us back with much re-assuring needed to open the discussion again. But we got past it. The texting/sexting began again a short while later and everything has been ok since. Except for the choice. He is, in my own opinion that does not reflect my wife´s opinion, Captain Unreliable. Only texts that he can come over when she isn´t home. Never available when she is. To say he is a frustrating disappointment is an understatement. But a good husband cannot discount the importance of the big cock of her favorite lover. So I patiently wait. About 5 months ago the wife and I had a discussion about another ex of her's. She sent off a message and he was immediately receptive to hearing from her. Messages, erotic messages and pictures were sent. Things naturally progressed to the point of a visit. To say I was excited would disrespect how happy I was. I knew the moment he arrived. I knew he was there the whole time he was there and I was so happy, proud, and ….soft towards my wife. Soft as in I want to please her. Spoil her. Support her in her right to have lover´s. Our plan was for me to get out of work at the normal time, drive to a location not far outside of our town, and wait for her text to come home. Come home, to her just as left her. Tired, sore messy and satisfied. So I could show my acceptance and appreciation by going down on her and telling her she deserved it. Only, he was awkward. His kissing too insistent. His hands too quick to go to her pussy. My wife needs things a certain way. If you do it right, she will say yes to anything. Do it wrong and it ruins the moment. So, my wife has kissed and touched and been touched by another man. But she has not had sex yet. We call it a tester. She had a tester and saw how I reacted and see's that this is the right decision for us. She see's how she feels. How we feel. And we are moving forward. I believe this same man is going to get a second chance to be her first. I am routing for him. I think she will enjoy it. I will definitely keep you posted!