Our first 3 some, MMF questions

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by thetwoofus1975, Dec 18, 2014.

  1. thetwoofus1975

    thetwoofus1975 New Member

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    So my wife and I, after a year or so of discussing this and laying out some basic rules have now decided to go forth with a 3 some. MMF. She wants to try 2 guys, me and another and I also want to see her do this. We have been married for 17 years and we are very stable, just the same routine of sex, which is great, has got us wanting to add some spice to it.

    Just looking for some advice on what to expect, what if any rules you have had with your experiences. Any and all advice would be much appreciated.

    Thank you
     
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  2. loves2ride

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    My husband and I have had 3sums, and are planning on having more.
    I'm short on time right now so here's just a few things that popped in my mind.


    - Have a "safe" word. When she's not having fun or something isn't going as planned, etc.
    - Have him wear a Condom. (unless you've know him for years and know he is clean - then your choice bareback or not.)
    - MFM is when only the girl get's it from the 2 men. MMF is the 2 men also engage with each other besides the girl, which is fine is that's ok with you.
     
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  3. thetwoofus1975

    thetwoofus1975 New Member

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    Thank you, correction, it is a MfM type thing. We are nervous about our first time
     
  4. Doitagain

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    It can be amazing! Make sure you both agree on who is involved. Lay out each other's desires or things you want to do or maybe try. Make sure you communicate this to the other person. Also be prepared for it not to go just like in your fantasy.
     
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  5. thetwoofus1975

    thetwoofus1975 New Member

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    We have a guy in mind, we have been emailing back and forth and he knows that it is just for pleasure, NSA and possibly an ongoing thing. We have talked about this in detail and it seems we talk about it a lot and then we have awesome sex, just kind of hard to find the right person. We did the craigslist deal and we are aware of the scams on there but this guy seems pretty legit, respectable of our boundaries and how we go about it.

    Thank you for the response.
     
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  6. ginger

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    and where is my invite ???
     
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  7. loves2ride

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    You were invited, but you never picked up your "Approved" Contractors license on the Random Thoughts thread :p :D
     
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  8. SirFoggy

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    As someone who has ... some ... experience of being the "3rd wheel" ...
    What you have done so far is generally OK. What you should do is to have one or more Skype sessions with the guy. Emails are OK but in no way can replace direct communication. The next step would be meeting him in some public but quiet place where you can have some privacy. Only then, when you feel confident, you should move to a hotel room or some such place and move forward.

    Mind you, this is somewhat one-sided experience but general principles should work just the same. I had some couples who seemed really nice while we were exchanging the emails and chatting on Skype. But in some cases when we met face to face I had a gut feeling something was not right and excused myself. Same thing happened while we were at it, either because one of the couple said or did something I felt was off or the things went the wrong way.

    Bottom line, the two of you are in the driving seat and have full control of what's going on. Yes, that guy should enjoy the whole thing but it was you who invited him to join in, not the other way around. If you don't like the way things are going don't hesitate to say so. If what you said fell on deaf ears don't hesitate to pull the plug and leave.

    I hope you have fun and enjoy this experience.
     
  9. thetwoofus1975

    thetwoofus1975 New Member

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    Thank you, we do plan to meet in public first. Skype seems like a great idea. We are afraid we may have been dooped by a pic collector as well. Gave him a couple pics and no response on a meet up, he loved the pics. Newbies, so unsure.
     
  10. SirFoggy

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    Take it from someone with the experience ... no pics from him or not wanting to Skype ... BIG fuking red flag. Tread carefully ... ;)
     
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  11. cbrmale

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    I've been the second man in a fair number of MFM threesomes and some couples have reported prior experiences with men who wanted to do nothing more than have sex with the wife. I take my role as fulfilling their fantasy and in the process I'm sure I'll get my sexual satisifaction, but primarily it's their fantasy and their evening. Make sure that you get this message across.

    None of my couples have been short-changed but I've never been asked to skype. In most instances we met in my city or part-way between, and the yes or no happened when we met. I could have pulled out but haven't yet had a reason to. One thing I am wary of are wives who going through with this reluctantly to please their husband, and one did slip through my radar.

    The single best mfm was where the husband had worked out a script in advance and he told his wife and I what he wanted us to do while he watched. Later he joined in, and overall our time together, finalisng with three in a large spa bath, was fantastic. In most other cases it's been down to me to guide things, and that's not going to be as good as thinking and planning in advance.
     
  12. EyeKandy

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    Being married makes initiating it hard in my opinion.

    If I'm seeing someone, and we're discussing bringing in a new partner, I prefer to go out with them a few times, to dinner or for drinks. Then, sleep with them at least once before. Just the two of us.
     
  13. CuteDoll1

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    I would say really think about it since you are in a marriage. Realize that another man is going to be having sex with your wife and she will probably be enjoying it. With this it is always good to make sure the 3rd party is someone who doesn't have a close connection with either of you that way it is easier to keep emotions out of it. Another thing I have heard that works well for men is to be the first to penetrate and the last to orgasm with their wife. From the female side of it don't judge but a safe word is a good concept. Make her feel loved but let her have fun.
     
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