[Ask a Girl] origin of rape fantasy?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by 12barblues, Apr 28, 2012.

  1. 12barblues

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    i have wondered this for a while but always was kinda scared to ask....is it possible that some of the ladies that want or enjoy rape / forced sex fantasy have experienced it in reality ? maybe been molested as a child? possibly even a repressed memory? or is it just simply a hot sexual fantasy?...i know molest and rape are sensitive topics for women.....but i know that we have several on this forum that have been sexually abused/raped and they seem open to talk about it. I hope i dont offend anyone by asking....
     
  2. cbrmale

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    The rape fantasy is a way of a woman letting go and being ravished without associated feelings of guilt. In the West we have supressed female sexual desire for the last 150 years or so, and as a result guilt-free debauched sex is contrary to the way many women have been brought up. But if forced then she has no say in the matter, and therefore cannot feel guilty.

    A common and popular theme in women's romance novel is 'forced seducation', where the hero forces the heroine to a certain extent. In my latest manuscript I parody 'forced seduction'. While I have a bit of fun with the concept I do understand that reading a scene about forced sex is a powerful turn-on for many women.
     
  3. thunderseed

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    Well I established a habit of talking about harsh truths and obscene subjects no one ever wants to talk about a long time ago, so it doesn't bother me :D

    This is just my take on the subject. The rape fantasy is just a fantasy, and is just a thrill a person gets from what they presume it is like and not so often do they fantasize about the actuality or consequences. It is all pretend, like any other fantasy, and it is simply natural, and normal, just like human desire, and how we are attracted to anything else. These people do not really enjoy the physical thing, they like the idea of it, and most times people try to act it out they realize it was a bad idea. They fantasize about it or roleplay it in safe ways, and they often on some level fantasize about both parties enjoying it on some level.

    Even if someone was raped in the past and they had a rape fantasy, usually their sexual fantasy would not come close to the true reality of rape, again it is still the thrill and pleasant feelings they get from the fantasy. And it is not a harmful psychological process, unless this person is traumatized on some level.

    But when someone has a rape fetish or even a paraphilia there could be more to it than meets the eye. There are lots of possible reasons, but there are tons of people who have rape fetishes that are specifically caused by pasts of sexual abuse, or even childhood traumas of any category. But that is different than just a sexual fantasy. Because a paraphilia is a fetish whereas you cannot get off by anything else and is deemed that because it is a physical problem to society, and that is not good.

    Fetishes are natural though. Specifically talking about the rape fetish, the appeal is the feeling of vulnerability and submission, the adrenalin rush, and the desire of forbidden things. The other way around, it is an appeal of power, adrenalin, dominance and what is forbidden.
    Many sexual fetishes are classified under just that alone. It is sexually appealing to many people because it is forbidden. You can have a rape fetish without having anything wrong psychologically.

    But there are only 3 natural ways a person can react from sexual abuse, although there is no invisible law to state that a person has to react in just one way.
    1. They eventually get over it and heal, move on and it does not bother them ever again, or the mind deal with things differently than what is usual.
    2. Flight mode is usual. This can cause anything from mild to severe. Person reacts in flight, disassociates. Person may frequently indulge in sexual acts by disassociating and traumatizing themselves repeatedly. Person may develop PTSD. In severe cases person may become a victim, will enjoy being abused, and will continue to search for abuse. In other severe cases person will simply develop a fear and resentment towards sexuality and may try to hide from it. So you have some people who have been abused, who go out in search of abuse or may have fantasies but more so fetishes of abuse, and some people who get their guards up and do not react in the way of someone who enjoys it at all.
    3. Fight mode is also usual. This can also cause anything from mild to severe. Person may react out of anger, may try to fight back. May stand up for themselves. Person may learn abusive habits. In extreme cases you get abusers. All rapists and abusers learn it from somewhere. That is the flip side of rape paraphilia. You get the ones who want to be abused, and you get the abusers. And it does stem from past traumas in both cases.

    There are other things to be taken into account, such as mental illness. People with an unhealthy rape paraphilia may also be diagnosed with other mental illnesses, or even personality disorders such as Anti Social Personality Disorder. There is something to say about how a person reacts to triggers. For example if they already have the imbalanced brain chemistry to trigger violence, trauma and abuse in their pasts will only make it worse. Not all people are made that way, some are born into it. And those are usually the ones you have to worry about most LoL :D
     
  4. 12barblues

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    thanks guys for the responses. glad to get a womans thoughts on this, thunder, so thank you....
    seems odd that when this rape fantasy topic comes up in a thread we're all open about talking about it, but no one wants to touch the subject of why we want it. which makes it all the more mysterious to me....
    im certainly not condemning anyone for liking it, as i would enjoy that role play . but i just need to know why some women want it. because if its the result of something traumatic happening in real life then i would never want to participate in the "fantasy"......
     
  5. thunderseed

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    I can give you are more personal account seeing as you are interested in a woman's thoughts about it. Even though I might be completely insane :D I was just writing about facts before. Just be warned that this may be highly paradoxical and contradicting. Oh and parts may also be disturbing.

    So for me... I go both ways :D. I love roleplaying rape fetish, but I enjoy being the victim as well as the rapist LoL. This is probably why it gets so contradicting for me.

    I am naturally submissive in nature, 'tis just the way I am. I do not like being pleased as I am a pleaser and when I am submissive it is very enjoyable and harmless, it is just fun. Contradictory my need to "please people sexually" gets tied in with my dominant side and when I turn dominant and aggressive I still hate people pleasing me and only want to get myself off. It is ironic, but I no longer care about what they want, yet i still do not want them doing anything to please me other than doing what they don't want to do.

    I like being told what to do, and I like pleasing because that is what pleases me. That part of it is harmless, I just find dominant men and rough sex so sexy, and the idea of rape is so hot! I also crave it because no man has ever had the balls to stand up to me, and I have a habit of meeting men who are all submissive pansies who are easy for me to hurt and take advantage of. Thankfully the guy I am with now is naturally dominant and he puts hardcore boundaries on me. He even has enough control to tell me to fuck off whenever I want sex LoL. I do not like weak individuals who enjoy being abused. And maybe that is kind of psychological? Perhaps a part of me dislikes the fact I enjoy it, so then I try to hide it by becoming a major douche bag. Who knows.

    But as soon as you add into the equation me = being dominant, I totally fail at it. I am not naturally dominant, or at least not in a good way, the only times I am dominant is when I am pissed off. Dominance whenever it happens by me is a form of aggression and there has never been anyway I can learn to control it and turn it into a loving thing like some people are able to do. I hurt people, and sometimes not physically but with the most crazy mind games you can think of and it all turns me on. Whenever I have ever tried to be a good Mistress who secretly cares about the well being of my slave... well i think you know where that is heading, I just don't care about the well being of my slave. At all. And so that is where problems start to happen.

    And so I developed a terribly illegal paraphila. I could no longer get off unless my sexual partners were unwilling to me and I had to serve my consequences. And even to this day I still have to catch myself and do a reality check whenever I begin using people because it became such a habit over the years.

    I got really angry at submissive men. They all end up giving me orders in the end, or complaining because they want me to make them feel good. But that's not what I want. I only want them to do what they don't want to do, because that's what gets me off. And so I really fail at being dominant.
    I turn into an outright psychopath who only cares about learning about my victims worst fears and dislikes. So me roleplaying a rape fetish with a guy who wants to pretend I am abusing him is NOT a good idea. I cannot control that part of myself. But the other way around is fine and doesn't bother me. It actually balances me out I think and gives me what I need LoL. Puts me in my place...

    I was never sexually abused. I was born with brain imbalances and was naturally sexually attracted to odd things from a very young age, and perhaps those natural attractions later traumatized me, I have no clue. That part still remains a mystery. I was physically abused in hospitals during my childhood, and that is part of the reason why I turned into such an A hole later on in life. I was always in pain. I had to learn to disassociate at a young age and I quickly learned to enjoy pain. But then somewhere along the lines I also learned that hurting others as well as myself was acceptable. I never cared about myself, so I had no capacity to care about others either. Apparently I am diagnosed with personality disorders as well. Actually my sex addiction is just a symptom of one of the personality disorders I have.

    And this is going to sound really weird but I will leave it up to you to take it for how it is or take it with a grain of salt, I'll be open about it anyways even though the subject of belief and spirituality is a tricky one. I'm not expecting you to believe it, I'm just being honest.

    I remember my past lives. I always have been able to. Because I have remembrance of these memories, lots of the things that happened in past lives effect me now in this life. That does not mean that my past lives completely messed up my ability to live this life, because I can now move on from it if I so choose. Those memories have no say over what I choose to do, or who I choose to be now.

    But here's the thing, some of those memories are nostalgic and do carry over. Part of the reason I am so into interracial fetishes is because I remember being other races in past lives and I am not really over that and do not choose to be. I decided to incarnate as mixed race in this life. And get this, my fetish of wars and violence are all entwined with memories of when I was a warrior. Not all good memories because I remember the genocide and wars of my people so clearly, and all at different times throughout history. I was a warrior in many lives, and for the longest time I thought I would be again in this life, even was about to join the Mohawk Warrior Society and all, but then I realized my life path is to be a healer in this life.

    Anyways, a lot of the things I am attracted to in this life stem from past life experiences. So does the asshole part of me, and I am currently dealing with that past life now. I was a major douche bag in that life, and did the worst things you could probably think of, and i will only say that because I don't really want to get into it. Lots of other people think they were cleopatra in their past lives, while I clearly remember being the lowest of all lows.

    Spiritually I do not believe in mental illness diagnoses to their full capacity and that's just because of my spiritual experiences and I guess I will just leave it at that. I am sorry for getting philosophical and spiritual on you :D
    I go to the other SF for that (spiritual forums) :lol
     
  6. Lover4You

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    Yes it is possible. Kinda twisted but I know from experience.
     
  7. lbushwalker

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    All the above comments are well and good but I have a much simpler take on this topic.
    I believe that this is but an evolutionary fertility trait deeply rooted in the female psyche based in earliest of the cave man era when the dominant male of the specie would simply "take" the any sexually available female. This ensured that the strongest genes were being passed on to the next generation.
    So here we have the entire menu; physical power, violence, rough sex, dominance, loss of control.
    Have I missed anything?
    Oh yeah; no laws except that of the jungle!
    Modern man's version;
    Jane, Jane...........where the fuck are you bitch? I wanna............another beer ;)
     
  8. cbrmale

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    No, this never happened! So-called cave men didn't force themselves on women. By studying very primitive socities we get a very good idea of how our ancestors interacted. And the answer is that women chose men to be their sexual partners. They may have chosen a different man every night or they may have chosen a number of men in one night, but women chose and men waited to be chosen.

    Patriachy came many hundreds of thousands of years later.
     
  9. China

    China New Member

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    Some women have this fantasy, some act it out through roleplay. Others don't have this fantasy.
    As to it being related to past events in their lives maybe it is for some, can't really say for sure though.
     
  10. Splendid_Thoughts

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    I was raped and I do not in any way, shape or form have a fantasy about being raped. Never have either. Being dominated and being raped are totally different things and I think we need to make sure we keep that distinction very, VERY clear. While I like being dominated, rape is vile.

    I think TS does have a good point though...it is all pretend. Fantasy is great as you can make it all up and everything goes how you want it to. The rapist does things you 'want' him to do...the idea of having control totally taken from you is a turn on...

    The reality of rape is something else again and if I could, I would wish that no other person would ever have to experience it.