Orgasms bad for relationships??

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by RockyRaccoon, Jun 17, 2008.

  1. RockyRaccoon

    RockyRaccoon New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2006
    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_in_the_brain

    I ran across the above article which describes chemical processes in the brain during orgasm. Particularly, it talks about the dopamine high and subsequent crash.

    "To summarize thus far, orgasm leads to a drop in dopamine and a rise in prolactin. Both of these lead to multiple behavioral and emotional symptoms, which, in our experience, can arise over the next two weeks. During this time, behavior may change for the worse. More importantly, lovers' perception of each other can shift dramatically for the worse. If we feel depleted, our partner will seem overly demanding; if we feel needy, our partner will seem selfish and uncaring. Bickering and emotional separation then lead to further friction. Of course, few people ever avoid orgasm for two weeks. Most of us ride this roller coaster over and over, never really experiencing balanced brain chemistry - or the easy harmony that accompanies it."

    They talk about the post-orgasm hangover, the Coolidge effect, etc. Basically all saying that orgasms degrade relationships. After each orgasm, there is a dopamine crash and the partner doesn't seem so appealing any more, and one prefers a new partner.

    I can kind of understand this for men, who fall asleep after ejaculation. But it says that the same happen to women. Not immediately, but in a few days. Do you ladies feel this way? Do you grow more tired of your partners a few days after orgasm? Do you feel like you need to keep cumming to ward off the dopamine crash?

    Interesting stuff. I thought it was always good to give the girl orgasms... now I'm very confused lol.
     
  2. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,647
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    I dunno about all this....when I have an orgrasm with my partner, I don't want to let go of her. I want to curl up against her and stay there for 2 weeks rather than finding a replacement.
     
  3. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2006
    Messages:
    832
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The Southern Cone
    Baloney!

    There are always nerds who stretch their imaginations to the limit with the most unlikely "what ifs ..." to cast doubt on things that are really, fucking beautiful!

    The sexual orgasm is the healthiest, happiest, and most joyous, physical and spiritual experience that us mortals can experience! I can never get enough!

    And I love the sensation of AFO! "All Fucked Out!" There's no crash whatsoever!
     
  4. Dreama

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    3,890
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Female
    Wow. I think thats the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.
     
  5. igor

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2006
    Messages:
    4,110
    Likes Received:
    163
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago area
    Right - on babe!!!:dgrin:dgrin:dgrin:dgrin
     
  6. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2007
    Messages:
    907
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    MD
    Don't...

    ...be.

    It stands, perfectly, to reason that there will be lows following highs. If there is no low, there is no high. Orgasm is about as good as it gets as a human being, that and runners high, the releases we feel from success and achievement, pride in a child, and so on. Not feeling that can feel pretty bad in and of itself and certainly in comparison. Add in a bad day, normal chemical changes, diet, exercise, viola, we have highs and lows. I call it ..."life" and I LOVE it. The lows make the highs that much better.

    Implying we're better off without orgasms can only come from people who, somehow, don't enjoy them.

    The problem with researchers is they are producing a product; the research. No one wants to read a report that says 'not being in the throes of an orgasm doesn't feel as good as being in the throes of an orgasm'. This type research, the mindset, is what lead to lobotomies, witch burning, ritalin and religions, including the church of man made global warming, throughout mankind's history; the constant picking at things. It's like their goal is for us all to be robots and the world to be some sort of static computer model, an explanation for every 'problem' and, of course, 'solutions'.

    Personally, we should burn researchers and pollsters at the stake. It might make us all feel better.

    :lol
     
  7. ~emm~

    ~emm~ New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2007
    Messages:
    444
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    wales
    thats the biggest load of bullshit I've ever read. and if it was proved right in the next 24 hours i wouldn't stop coming 3 times a day, that just isn't me
     
  8. Doodle

    Doodle New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2007
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    If you read the article the study was done exclusively on rats. Then the author relates that to all other mammals, but never makes an actual claim that it happens in humans. So what the study is really talking about is how rats react to dopamine. There are also studies out, that show that when a straight woman has sex with a man she ends up finding other mens faces less attractive.

    http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6V9F-4PB15XB-1&_user=10&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=806ee58940014835cb545cf73a695162
     
  9. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,647
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Agreed. I know from my own personal experiences that the more my wife and I have sex with each other, the more we want to have sex with each other. It's definitely not the opposite.

    BD
     
  10. RockyRaccoon

    RockyRaccoon New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2006
    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Do you always get your wife to orgasm? It's not saying sex is bad, it's saying that orgasm's are bad.

    Trust me I'm just as bewildered by this as anyone. But when they put all the facts and reasoning together, it kind of makes sense. I donno what to think.
     
  11. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    Rocky, it seems to me, by reading your posts, you have a lot of fear regarding sex. Hon, just relax, quit reading so much, and don't worry about it. Like Nike says, "Just Do It". ;)
     
  12. RockyRaccoon

    RockyRaccoon New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2006
    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I'm an all around paranoid worrier. I think I have pure-o OCD. Every day, some thing will pop up either through news or in my head, and I can't stop worrying about it. Like right now, because of that research study, all I can think of is if I give the girl an orgasm, she's gonna have a dopamine crash, resent me, then leave and sleep with another guy.
     
  13. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    Well, if you keep acting like you are, a gal WILL leave you, but not because you made her orgasm.
     
  14. RockyRaccoon

    RockyRaccoon New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2006
    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    A rock and a hard place. I don't want to hurt anyone. If orgasms are bad then I have to avoid them. I guess I was just trying to see if any girls here had negative (crash) feelings after intense orgasms - not immediately but say a day or two later. The world is so complicated lol.
     
  15. SeVIIn

    SeVIIn New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2008
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Arizona
    I've never been with a girl who had a "crash" after an orgasm In fact they always end up wanting more and I am always more then happy to provide. The article is BS plain and simple.
     
  16. igor

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2006
    Messages:
    4,110
    Likes Received:
    163
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago area
    She may well leave you because you didn't care enough whether she had an orgasm or not!
     
  17. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,647
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Yes, usually so. (Maybe FC will chime in?) I generally make sure she gets hers (often multiple times) before I get mine. :D And that doesn't include any pre or post "work" she might do with a vibe, etc. ;) I'd say she has 2 - 6 orgasm's every time we have sex (on the higher end when we do lots of foreplay). She'd be gone by now if this article were true. :eek

    BD
     
    #17 BassDude, Jun 18, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2008
  18. HardRocker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    Messages:
    5,719
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Just because the world is complicated doesn't mean your life has to be complicated. Just get up every day and try to be the best you can and to hell with the rest. Fuck the news, you can't cry for everybody in the world... or empathize, or try to understand it all. It's a waste of life to try.

    Write that down on a piece of wood and hang it on your refrigerator. Every time you walk by, grab it and whap yourself in the head with it.
     
    #18 HardRocker, Jun 18, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2008
  19. Dreama

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    3,890
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Female
    Dude. Quit. Seriously. Orgasms= good. Period. I've never had this happen. EVER. The more hubby and I do it, I feel more emotionally connected to him. This is just funny. Laugh with the rest of us, and stop being crazy, dude.
     
  20. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,647
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Yeah...what she said! :D

    But seriously...if you want to believe that article, that's your choice. That just means there's less competition for all the guys who actually want to hand out orgasms to the ladies. ;)

    BD