[Ask a Guy] Orgasm Trouble-I'm a guy.

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Maestro, May 7, 2011.

  1. Maestro

    Maestro New Member

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    First Post, so first and foremost Hi there.

    I have, well, it isn't really a problem, because my wife sure enjoys getting off more than once a session, but there are times where, no matter what we do, I just can't cum. We go and go and go at it, and nothing. Then there are other times where it takes a good 45 minutes to an hour and a half, then there are other days that it's 5 minutes and I'm done.

    I don't frequently masturbate, maybe twice a week. And the wife and I have sex on average 4 times a week. I'm 21, so I guess it's something that I didn't expect at such a young age? I find my wife physically and emotionally attractive, and she's not the first person I've had this problem with. I normally don't get discouraged, and we just look at each other and say next time, but it really got to me last night for some reason.

    Any ideas? Any tips? Is this normal?

    Thanks
     
  2. cbrmale

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    This is not normal to struggle to come most of the time, but I think most men have this some of the time. It depends on how often this happens to you. My wife and I have sex about 3 times a week, and sometimes I find myself in the same situation; it takes half-hour up to an hour of hard work to come. Other times I can control it quite easily, and sometimes I get close and then use techniques not to come (kegels and breath control), and then I don't get close for the next half-hour or more! I don't masturbate at all, but I'm a lot older. Struggling to come happens about once every other week for me, but it could be as often as twice in a row.

    I suggest cutting down on masturbation and see if that helps; coming almost everyday is a lot.
     
  3. 33stack

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    r u on and antidepressants or BP meds? I found out cymbalta was sometimes used to prevent premature ejaculation! Also fatigue can contribute to that. I was having the same problem and cut back my meds and it improved.
     
  4. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    sounds like anorgasmia... either that, or you just have some kind of mental block... maybe subconcious. sounds like anorgasmia though.
     
  5. Meee

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    So actually your range is from five minutes to an hour and a half. You take longer sometimes, but not always. Sometimes you don't cum at all, but sometimes you do. I would think that's "normal," meaning not unheard of and not necessarily a sign of a health problem. It could be fatigue, stress, distractions, mood, position, or almsot anything that could just throw you off a little. Maybe you're having all this intimate time with your wife and it's more often than your body actually needs to ejaculate. Enjoy it for the intimacy and your wife's pleasure and so on. Orgasm doesn't always have to be the goal. If your body didn't happen to need it right at that moment, then you weren't actually missing anything. You and your wife still had a good time in other ways.
     
  6. cbrmale

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    Actually, my wife enjoys it when I have difficulting coming, although she would be disappointed if I didn't come at all. It depends on how of this happens, and we don't know that.
     
  7. Maestro

    Maestro New Member

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    Could part of it be due to a poor diet? Well, not necessarily a poor diet, but a lack of a diet? There are days where I don't eat, or only eat once, and then there are days that we eat 3 meals a day as a family. Could that have anything to do with it?

    It usually doesn't bother me, because I enjoy the intimate time with my wife regardless, and she certainly enjoys it. It was just that one night that it's ever really gotten to me.

    Thanks for all the responses.
     
  8. Druthers

    Druthers New Member

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    Diet could definitely be a part of it. Ejaculation expends electrolytes and amino acids... try eating more regularly. Grab a bagel on your way out the door if you're really too busy to eat :p

    I have difficulty coming sometimes too... fortunately I have great endurance and my girl is a pretty heavy lubricator, so we just keep going and going until eventually I'm able to.

    My recommendation for a bedroom remedy is to try dirty talk- sometimes the "undermind" can become distracted during sex even if you aren't aware of it. I find that explicitly sexual speech focuses it upon the task at hand.