Oral guilt

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Nikkitta, Apr 17, 2013.

  1. Nikkitta

    Nikkitta Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2012
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    I know it's stupid but I feel guilty when i get oral. I feel as if I take "too long" to cum. That i should be enjoying it more. My bf really enjoys pleasing me and is actually very skilled but for some reason I just can't let go, the longer I take the more paranoid I become which obviously makes it worse. Has anybody else had anything like this before? Been quite stressed lately.. Any advice appreciated as its getting worse and is really starting to piss me off!
     
  2. mrcock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    seems like, you are a ma type of girl. simply stop controlling, relax. if you feel guilt, first, get a so called conviction, then think about it, not before

    luck

    :lol
     
    #2 mrcock, Apr 17, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2013
  3. Nikkitta

    Nikkitta Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2012
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Do you reckon it's a control thing? I love to be dominated though. In my eyes I think that having him go down on me makes me feel dominating. Ha get me stressing over this now lol need to get me a yoga mat I think!
     
  4. mrcock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    you think, what if you take it too long to cum, you are trying to control what is going on. I'd just hold you in a lock, lick you for days, you'd like it

    :lol
     
  5. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,963
    Likes Received:
    5,074
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    Nik, I must be a bit like you but in the guy version.
    I find it real difficult to accept and enjoy oral even knowing I should and coming from that is a real mental effort :(
     
  6. 12barblues

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5,297
    Likes Received:
    3,744
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    california, USA
    When sluttyfairy and I first met, it took f o r e v e r for me to get off from oral....and I can't say why....but the more I tried, the worse it got. Then I realized how much she loved doing it....that she literally would be on her knees for hours , because she wanted to. It took all the pressure off, and guess what? No more problem. The mind is a funny thing....
     
  7. fireontheside

    fireontheside Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2013
    Messages:
    522
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    Why should you feel guilty? You can't help that it takes awhile.
     
  8. Anotherday

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2011
    Messages:
    395
    Likes Received:
    130
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Antartica
    been there done that.

    I used to get frustrated as well feeling I was inadequate, then I just came to the realization that there are times (more often that not) where it's going to take a while to make her cum.

    My wife also gets a bit frustrated with herself, but not nearly as often as she used to as I've explained wholeheartedly that I do truly enjoy the "process" of sex as much or more than I do the orgasm. As a matter of fact I enjoy long sessions where there's a bit of a "struggle" to bring her off, even if I've came long ago. I swear I could live with her in my mouth.

    Just come to comfort with the fact that you take a little while to achieve and enjoy the pleasures of everything in between imo.

    The true satisfaction for me is that we've learned to "force orgasms" whereas after the initial built up orgasm comes for
    her I continue stimulation often taking her well beyond what her mind tells her the body can take. Takes a little getting used to on both parts, consensual terms, but after the flailing, screaming, and quaking is all over from her riding wave after wave for long periods of time. Damn we're both extremely satisfied and completely drained.
     
    #8 Anotherday, Apr 17, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2013
  9. GreyGoose

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2007
    Messages:
    950
    Likes Received:
    191
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NC
    don't feel guilty some of us love to take our time and enjoy our meal =)
     
  10. cygnus73

    cygnus73 Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2011
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NY
    Nikki, I really enjoyed when it took my girlfriend longer than normal during oral. The longer it took, the more intense the outcome would be. If your man is anything like me, he's enjoying going down on you very much. Maybe it would help you relax if you thought about how much pleasure he's in for a bit later.
     
  11. redics_girl

    redics_girl Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2012
    Messages:
    672
    Likes Received:
    55
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Michigan
    tell him to use his fingers. maybe his technique just needs tweeking
     
  12. jonny718

    jonny718 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2012
    Messages:
    51
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North UK
    Sorry to hear you feel as though you've encountered this problem of "oral guilt". Is this a new thing associated with your current stress, or have you always encountered this phenomenon?
    You are lucky that your bf enjoys pleasing you, but as one or two others have said, for men who are into oral, most will enjoy spending plenty of time down there....I know I certainly do!
    Have you discussed this with your bf? It could be really insightful to talk with him, If you haven't already.
    How do you get down to oral? Do you have a rapid passage towards him putting his head between your legs, or do you take your time? One idea could be to start by bathing together. Or you could try some mutual pubic landscaping as a prelude. Or how about a little time spent watching some pornography whilst cuddling on the sofa?
    As relics suggests, does he just use oral alone, or does he apply his fingers? How about him using a favourite vibrator of yours (if you have one), whilst he's licking you?
    If stress is an underlying issue, do you notice whether alcohol impacts your length of time to orgasm? A little alcohol before inviting him to pleasure you may make a difference.
    Alternatively of course, this may just be part of the unique individuality that is you!! If so, then just be content that your bf enjoys the time he spends pleasuring you orally, relax and enjoy it!! Everything will cum naturally!!
     
  13. surreal_thoughts

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2012
    Messages:
    2,250
    Likes Received:
    598
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Connecticut
    If your guy is willing and enjoys going down on you, than don't feel guilty and relax. My wife was the same way once we started getting intimate when we where dating. Now she loves it and loves to cherish every single moment and lick and I don't mind spending more time on giving her oral because I get enjoyment out of seeing her body move and squirm and hearing her moan ;)
     
  14. Nikkitta

    Nikkitta Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2012
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    :lol
     
  15. dougsan

    dougsan New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2013
    Messages:
    127
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    If ever a "problem" called out for conversation this is it. Tell your partner exactly what you've shared with us. If you don't have a partner then read on dear lady, read on.
     
  16. sandwich

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2012
    Messages:
    2,607
    Likes Received:
    2,397
    Gender:
    Female
    OMG...that last sentence was soooooo HOT!
     
  17. mrcock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    I could implement it on a friend who I was missing for some time, know some huh

    :lol
     
  18. sandwich

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2012
    Messages:
    2,607
    Likes Received:
    2,397
    Gender:
    Female
    Only if you'd promise it would be for days....
     
  19. mrcock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    for years

    :lol
     
  20. sandwich

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2012
    Messages:
    2,607
    Likes Received:
    2,397
    Gender:
    Female
    Surely you would take a break to fuck me....