Oral 101

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by mdw6931, Mar 23, 2008.

  1. mdw6931

    mdw6931 New Member

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    OK, gonna try to kill two birds with one stone here.

    My wife has been hinting for a while now that she'd like to give me a blowjob. Or more like, she's working herself into it. She's had a problem with it ("It's gross") and has never given me one. Now obviously I don't want to force her to do something she doesn't want to do, but at the same time I've never gotten one and I want to feel what it's like. Does anyone have any suggestions for what I might do to make it easier for her? Has anyone had hangups about it but gotten over them somehow? How did you do it?

    Now, in the spirit of fairness, I've never successfully given her oral either. I say "successfully" because I've tried in the past. But my gag reflex is extraordinarily strong and the presence of any hair at all just makes it impossible for me. However, I have no problem with it in theory, just in practice. If anyone has any suggestions for me on how to get over this issue, I'd appreciate it.
     
  2. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    Ahm do it after a shower or in the shower, that way neither of you are thinking about any hygine issues when you're doing it. On your part don't touch her head when she's doing it, and give her fair warning before you finish.

    As for going down on her. I've never been that big a fan of oral sex, I mainly just see it as foreplay and just as a way of showing my sex some attention before a guy goes into me. I'm sure if you try you'll get over her pubes you don't have to put your tounge deep inside, just past the clitoris in up and down motions.

    Anywho best of luck.
     
  3. DavesNotHere

    DavesNotHere New Member

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    I can't give you a lot of advice about the blowjobs, as no one that I've been with has had any hang-ups about giving oral sex.

    However, I love giving oral sex! My GF's vagina is so sensitive when I go down on her, I can only do it for less than a minute. I'd love to go down on her for longer, but I'm not selfish, so I consider any time that I get to give oral sex a good thing. :D

    Have you suggested that she shave or trim her pubic area? If she's interested in receiving it, she might be willing to do that to help you with your gag reflex issue. Not only that, a lot of people think that shaved is sexy. :brow
     
  4. bucky

    bucky New Member

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    We do oral more than anything else and the shower idea is a good one. We,ve been married nineteen years and she can only get off with direct stimulation (tongue preferred).
     
  5. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    Right firstly his wifes reluctance to perform oral sex is not a hang up, rather something that she did find distasteful, but that she's now reconsidering. And I hope mdw is not going to demean his marraige by doing something as sleazey as asking his wife to shave her pubes for him.
     
  6. DavesNotHere

    DavesNotHere New Member

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    Wow, I certainly didn't think my post would bring that kind of response. :ugh

    My use of hang-up wasn't meant to be derogatory by any means. I was simply using it as a vague term to describe something that didn't bring pleasure to one of the two parties. Sorry for the miscommunication.

    As for the shaving thing, I think it's interesting that it would be interpreted that it would demean the marriage to make that request. Based on the OP's message, it sounds as though communication in their relationship is open, and they could share dialogue about doing this. "Hey, listen, you really need to shave down there," would be a little crass, I agree. However, if there's open discussion about the option, I think it could be healthy, as long as neither party lets hopefulness or disappointment tarnish this area of sexuality they're willing to explore again. :)
     
  7. bucky

    bucky New Member

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    Unless she is going to shave all the time I don't recommend it only because when it grows back in it itches like hell. My wife shaved one time and was miserable for a couple of weeks. The only thing positive was that I tore that thing up with my tongue every night.
    On a helpful note, playing with her until the juices start to flow will make her p*ssy splay open and you can munch hair free.
     
  8. MaxLong

    MaxLong New Member

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    I gotta agree with Dave... I have issues with gag reflex and hair, shower doesn't matter - its the hair. Its not a hygeine issue for me, my not be for the OP either. Whats so horrible and demeaning about shaving? Ffs, it grows back.

    Anyway, mdw I have the same issue regarding gag reflex - I won't go down on a woman with hair. Just can't do it, the hair gets into my mouth and I begin to gag. My gf has been shaved as long as I've known her... and I go down on her gladly, very regularly. Its something to discuss. For both of you, actually. I also shave myself, if hair makes me gag, why shouldn't I expect it to make girls as well? My gf loves it, I shave my balls, and trim the surrounding area. I just picked up the Norelco Bodytrim, you can use it in the shower if you'd like, its like a mini-clipper/electric razor.
     
  9. Hot Wheels

    Gold Member

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    And, as an aside....you dont necessarily have to shave bare to the skin.....
    Theres nothing wrong with just having a bit a "trim".....much more practical and less discomfort when it starts to grow back...
     
    #9 Hot Wheels, Mar 23, 2008
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2008
  10. bucky

    bucky New Member

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    HOT WHEELS is right on the mark. Trimming is much better and no discomfort growing back. We both keep it trimmed fairly short
     
  11. Dreama

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    I have some fun suggestions.

    For you both, what about getting some flavored lube? I mean, you should both be really clean, but aside from that, perhaps it would be fun for you both to add a little flavor to the mix!

    Or, you could take a shower together, get all hot and bothered, and do it right after....

    Or, if the hair bothers you, you could suggest you make an event out of shaving one another's pubic hair, or perhaps trimming it. You could even do cool little designs in the hair, if it strikes your fancy.

    If she decides she does want to give you oral, tell her how awesome it feels, unless she is doing something painful, and in which case, sweetly ask her to do something else. Treat her like she's really giving a part of herself to you, because she really is.
    I respect the fact that you don't want her to do anything she doesn't want to do, also. Keep the no pressure attitude, and you're sure to get a little reward :).
     
  12. mdw6931

    mdw6931 New Member

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    Thanks for all the suggestions folks. And to be honest, I never asked her about whether my own hair is a problem. I do trim every now and then, mostly for myself, but I'd be more than willing to shave if it makes it easier for her.

    And yes, actually she bought a bottle of flavored lube for Christmas (this was my first indication that she might have been considering it)...we have yet to crack it open but perhaps that could change.
     
  13. MaxLong

    MaxLong New Member

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    I actually shave regularly every morning... nothing so incredibly detailed as making sure every sprout of hair is gone, but more of a quick shave job, and doing it every morning keeps it smooth and discomfort free.

    I just picked up a Norelco Bodygroomer (wet/dry, so you can take it in the shower). Works great! I shave, then trim around the base of my dick (there is a trimmer attachment).
     
  14. FlirtyChick

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    Blowjobs can be daunting. We all had to start somewhere. I have learned to love them over the years because they turn my partner on, and I really enjoy it.

    For your wife: Just ask her what turns her off. If it is hair, trim or shave it. If it is hygiene, clean yourself first. If it is something else, discuss it. Let her know that you are aware she has never done it, and that she does not have to do it perfectly at first.....Please do not let her compare herself to the girls in porn flicks.... Tell her to start slow by licking your shaft and head like a popsicle, then when the base is wet from licking, she can use her hand up and down on you while she takes as much of your head as she can in her mouth. She need not suck, just use firm pressure, no teeth, as she works you in and out of her mouth in conjunction with the hand motion. She can keep practicing as much as you want, and work down to deep throat and swallowing if that turns her on. PLEASE warn her before you cum. Myself, I swallow, but I have been sucking cock a long time.

    For you: Tell her what your issue is without making her feel bad. Discuss trimming first, because shaving can be drastic, and explain why. As someone else posted, use your hands first to get her going, then separate the labia and flick your tongue on her clitoris. I think you will probably find that you can handle it from there.

    If it is all not good at first, keep trying. If is does not work for the two of you, that's ok too. Just remember to relax, be clean, and show each other how much you love each other through these natural acts of making love.

    Let us know how it goes!
     
  15. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Well, a few thoughts on your gagging. IF you think your partner might be open to it, blindfold her and shave her pussy for her. That gets you past your gag response (no hair), then lick her for as long as she can stand it...make her cum and cum and cum again. She'll want you to shave her pussy and eat her every night if you make it a good experience for her! (I personally like freshly clean shaven, but also actually like the stubly hair growth as well...it feels kinda nice against my face. Hell, I like it all...freshly clean shaven, stubly, even if it's hairy I'll find my way through the tomato patch...:D)

    Most importantly...I think you have to love what you're doing. That's the most important part...if you love giving your partner oral, if you REALLY want to make her feel so good she can't think straight, then you'll get past anything that's distracting you and make it happen. I love giving oral...I couldn't even be married to a woman who wouldn't let me lick her, it just wouldn't work. If you love what you are doing, it shows. There's always room for improvement in everything (even with folks who are quite experienced at it), but if you love doing it, then you'll learn to do what makes your partner feel good. Throw her down and lick her pussy like you just can't wait to get your mouth on it and it's the hottest friggin' thing you've ever done. (Balance that with gentleness though...most women don't like it too rough, just like most guys don't like a rough blowjob!)

    BD
     
  16. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Some more thoughts. Ya know...the scrotum and labia develop out of the same tissues, so they have similar nerve endings. Think about how you like having your scrotum licked (what feels good), and then do the same thing to her. The clitoris and penis head develop out of the same tissues (LOTS of nerve endings!), so think about what feels good (or would feel good) on your penis glans, and do the same thing to her clitoris. Give what you want to get, and it's hard to go too wrong!

    BD
     
  17. ctown75

    ctown75 New Member

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    Make her feel its the best place on earth

    I find the best thing is to let your partner know that you love doing it and it taste so good you never want to stop so make some erotic sound while you are doing it.Make sure you lick the labia lips on the inside and outside and put some lube on your fingers and caress the lips between your finger tips.


    Davenothere
    The person you got the response from is a serious instigator so do not worry and she is ready to strike on anything.
     
  18. Squint

    Squint Member

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    Agree with ctown75.

    Also women generally don’t react as quickly as men (I think). They take time to really get the desired reaction. Think of it as an investment. Try messaging her to begin with. Caress her. Take your time. Take the time to talk with her. Take plenty of time with foreplay. When you do start the oral, again take your time. Be random, not mechanical She will let you know what feels good, but don’t over do it (get to aggressive) stay random and unhurried.
     
  19. DavesNotHere

    DavesNotHere New Member

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    Thanks! The more I've read her posts, the more I've noticed this. Oh well, I'll just continue to read the more positive posts on here! :D
     
  20. loveit247

    Gold Member

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    There is nothing demeaning about asking your partner to shave. I agree with ctown, she is quite uptight about things in general but won't hear anything that is said to her.