[Ask a Girl] or even men can answer... my husband wants anal...

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Meghan, Aug 8, 2012.

  1. Meghan

    Meghan New Member

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    hey im new on here... so forgive me ahead of time lol...

    my husband and i have been married going on two years and he wants to add something new to our sex life... anal. so we tried it... and it was awful, it hurt, i never got to climax and i spent the whole time holding back tears... i need some help.. i want to keep my husband happy..and i want this for us... but that was HORRIBLE.. any insite?
     
  2. OverSinged

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    As a person with no experiece, I'd say you needed more lube and... warming up, for lack of a better phrase.

    Probably should wait and get answers from the ladies here who've experienced it though.
     
  3. Texas_Red

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    Yeah, we really need more info on how you guys went about it but if it was that bad it sounds like you guys just went right to him sticking it in, which generally does not bode well at all.

    So yes, please give us more info on what was done, and we'll be able to help you guys a lot more.
     
  4. Meghan

    Meghan New Member

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    well there was foreplay such as nipple sucking and even a blow job before hand and we used lube but my husband is into rough sex... once its in 7 times out of 10 we are bumping and grinding... and i think he was expecting it to be ready to go considering we have sex of somesort everyday. at least once a day.. (we may be addicts lol) idk... i want this for us but it was awful!
     
  5. dustydash

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    Since you're just starting out, use plenty of lube. You need to be as relaxed as possible. Take your time, don't rush it. You may want to try you on top that way you can be in control. When done properly, it is very good.
     
  6. Meghan

    Meghan New Member

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    thanks guys.. note to self double up on the lube and take it slow :) we will try it again eventually lol i am still recuperating haha
     
  7. Dragon_Fire

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    Rough vaginal sex is fine, the vagina is pretty tough. The arse isn't so tough and is very easily damaged.

    I agree here, especially about taking your time. This is one area where you need to be in charge. I often start off on top and once my body has adapted to his presence, we then change position.
     
  8. OverSinged

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    Rough anal sex for the first try... I'm an idiot and I can see that's not going to work well...
     
  9. Texas_Red

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    Do a search of the forums for anal, there are a good few threads and they'll have lots of useful information for you and your man to read. :)
     
  10. Silkycat

    Silkycat New Member

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    Anal is a huge part of my sexual life, and I have introduced some of my sexual partners to it. I'll try to give some advice, from personal experience though!

    The first time can be pretty scary, even if you have played with toys before, at least I found it to be. You'll need to make sure your partner knows that it's something new and unfamiliar to you, and that you need to be eased into it. If the other party doesn't understand this, I don't think you ever will be able to get into and enjoy it.

    Get into a comfortable possition where your body is not under any stress. You should be pretty relaxed the first time, and wait with the experimentation until you get used to the sensation. He should be in a somewhat relaxed position himself, with easy access to you.

    Start off with a small toy of some sort (I use a small vibrator) and PLENTY of lube (take what you think is enough, double it!). I can't stress that last one enough! =p If it's nice and moist it can be a wonderful experience, but dry isn't much fun, especially for the recieving end...

    Just gently tease the opening at first. The anus is pretty tight before any stimulation and needs a bit of opening up, unless your unto being forcefully penetrated that is, but I advice waiting on the kinky stuff until later =p. A little bit of genital play while this is happening should help with the experience also.

    Gently insert the toy, and only gradually go deeper. This is a much better sensation (by personal preference), and makes you feel at ease about what is going on. Then just spend a few minutes moving the toy slowly in and out, and don't forget to apply more lube if needed!

    Here comes a bit of a crossroad. Some like it to be tight for the penis, other's want it to be as open as possible (I think most go for the first one =p). Depending on the size of your partner you might want to use a slightly larger toy than the first one used, kind of working your way up in size until you are ready to acomodate him. With the right amount of lube he shouldn't have to use so much force to push himself inside, that to me is usually a bad sign.

    ---

    Well that's how I chose to do it if it's my partners first time. It feels like a much safer and comfortable way to introduce someone to anal. How you do it the next time and the time after is up to you really. If you enjoyed this, there is no reason why it shouldn't be repeated! Regardless of how you chose to procede, USE PLENTY OF LUBE!

    Good luck ^^, and most importantly; enjoy!
     
  11. 12barblues

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    Some great responses here.....but then there's this.....some people just don't enjoy anal sex.