Open Relationships, do they work??

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Mestizomad, Aug 17, 2014.

  1. Mestizomad

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    Hi there,

    I have been going out with my GF for 6 years now, she is a lovely girl, literally perfect personality wise, however I don't feel like I fancy her as much as I used to.

    I don't want to be unfaithful and I don't want to leave her either, but I just want to have a bit more fun whilst I'm still in my 20s. I have not slept with even half as many people as most of my male and female friends, and I just wanna get out a bit, find a hot girl, and bang her senseless.

    Also, to make matters worse, my GF has two v attractive and single female friends. And for a few months last year, both me me my GF thought that one of these friends had a crush on me, and now both me and my GF strongly believe that the other friend has a crush on me. Long story, but sometimes their behaviour is quite blatant and v flirtatious to the point were several other male and female friends have made remarks.

    Anyhow, we have mentioned open relationships before, in which we are both obviously allowed to have occasional sex with other people. And to be honest for me, it would not be that often, as I'm no Casanova or anything, and I genuinely believe that in an open relationship, my GF would get a lot more action than me.

    I would like to try and have a go with a her two friends, plus other people, either in secret or totally open and honest. I honestly don't believe it would turn into romance or anything, as our personalities clash in areas, and I feel that it would just be a purely heated sexual thing, a NSA type thing with no emotion.

    So do open relationships work? Are they feasible? For say a couple of years until both of our needs to have a bit of fun have been settled.

    My GF is also bisexual and she has toyed with the idea or shagging one of the two female friends, and the same friend who is also bisexual has also toyed with the Ida of shagging my GF and me, in that she asked us for a threesome (MFF) about a year ago, but my GF turned her down because she thought it might make their friendship a bit weird.

    Sorry for the length of this.
     
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  2. AGFUNK

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    They can work as long as you are completely open and honest with each other. Sit down and talk with your girlfriend at length about it.
     
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  3. BlueCollar

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    For some people it does work. They say, as AGF said, communication is the key. Along with trust and faith in the strength of your own relationship. It is not for the weak though. I couldn't do it. Neither could the mrs.
     
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  4. skinnyminnie

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    I haven't exactly done it, but if you're going to try this it might be best to pick people who aren't in your immediate circle. Just because if things don't work out, you don't want to have to cut off your actual friends. It's easy to stop calling a random person, but with real friends there tend to be real emotions.
     
  5. 12barblues

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    ^^^ took the words right outta my mouth...
     
  6. HotForHoney

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    Ewwww


    But I agree
     
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  7. Clintriprock

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    Open relationships must be mutual and feelings must also be mutual. 99% of the time they do not work. If you have the need to gain more experience with other partners it's usually better to end the relationship and pick it up later after you've gotten it out of your system. I'm married to someone that this happened with. We're both better for it now. When you stay with someone permanently it's imperative that you have it ALL out of your system or it won't work. We went our separate ways and many years and other relationships later saw that we were still the ones for each other after all the other lovers. She explored alternative sexual lifestyles along the way and I was ultimately the one.
     
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  8. Li_hog_rider

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    It won't work for you if you don't fancy her like you use to. If you both want an open relationship first you need to both be in your current relationship. That means heart and soul together. If that won't happen it's time you guys end it and move on
     
  9. Doitagain

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    They can work but both parties have to be on the same page. I believe they work better if they start as an open relationship and I speak out of experience. I think if you try and have an " open " relationship after the length of time you have been together I think that is the beginning of the end. And if you try it there is that possibility she will actually have more opportunities than you and that may not make you feel like you would have hoped. And yes if you do it stay away from inner circle of friends. Again , out of experience I say this.
    Now if it's just different sex you want instead of open relationship you may want to discuss swinging to an extent where you only play with others together. That could actually really spice it up for you. Either way communication is the key , FULL disclosure and honesty. The smallest thing you don't talk about or are not honest about WILL bite you in the ass. Again , out of experience I say this.
     
  10. Redline1

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    I am very teratorrial so that stuff doesn't work for me at all. So if your like me I would say no way. But on the same note I respect those that can and do have an open relationship. Just doesn't fly for me.
     
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  11. hollydollyrose22

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    I'm gonna have to disagree with everyone here and say they don't work, lol. Unless she comes to you one day and says "I wanna see my friend fuck you, it would really turn me on" then yeah it might work but I don't think any woman in her right might would let her guy for 6 years fuck whoever he pleases. Or vice versa. You may feel like you're all cool about it and wont be phased if your partner does somebody else, but it's gonna hit you and it's gonna feel like a ton of bricks and it's gonna strangle you and destroy your relationship.

    If you must, just find some hot chick on the internet (nobody you or your gf knows) meet and fuck. Get it out of your system and never bring it up again. Because right after you do it, SURE you're gonna be like "God that was amazing! I'm so glad I did that!" but after a few weeks goes by you're gonna start feeling guilty. When that happens, just tell yourself "What she don't know don't hurt her." Just my take.
     
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  12. Kelly2244

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    No no and no they do not work for so many reasons. You can't mix rational thinking with emotions. You two agree rationally to be open and honest and not get upset when you do another person. So all seems fine until the emotions set in. Emotions are not always rational or based in reality. For example what happens when the girl is with a better looking guy, more successful guy, she gets excited to see him and texts him too often. Resentful and hurtful emotions creep in and take over your rational agreement to be open. And vice versa for the woman too. Remember once you do it you can't go back and it is a lifelong decision you both have to live with. And the friend thing...a bigger no and I don't think I need to explain why. It is self explanatory. And Yes I feel this way from experience and will never do that again.