Open Relationship

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Knine86, Aug 21, 2013.

  1. Knine86

    Knine86 Member

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    So my girlfriend and i have an open relationship. I am finally getting a chance to have some fun. Well I am having some trouble finding a woman to have fun with. It's not going as easily as i had hoped. I have sign up for a couple of "Dating Sites" and either no one returns my messages or they turn out to be psychos. Does any one have any advise?
     
  2. Meee

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    That's quite a slap at your girlfriend. Maybe you should break up with her. A lot of women will avoid a man who already has a girlfriend. So if you dump her, you might get better results.
     
  3. Miamia

    Miamia Member

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    I never heard of any successful dating-site-story. I'd recommend you to look for a ONS in real life. It's probably not going to be as easy as you'd like it to be (and especially not as easy as the dating sites you visit promised), but you can make sure they're not psychos or ugly or fakes. And on top of that, to "go hunting" in real life is real fun. Remember: It's not the kill, it's the thrill of the chase!
     
  4. backcheck64

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    And why would you agree to an open relationship? If a person is important to you, you make it exclusive. She obviously isn't, you're tone of the post tells us that, break up with her. When you're singe you can fuck whomever will have you.
     
  5. Miamia

    Miamia Member

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    "If a person is important to you, you make it exclusive."
    I agree that the tone of the first post doesn't sound like she's the right partner for you. But in general I don't see the need to make a partnership exclusive. That's just a tradition. I don't mind people sticking to traditions. But one can't judge what others do based on one's own traditional thinking. Open relationships are perfectly okay if agreed by both partners. It may, but it doesn't necessarily mean that there's a lack of commitment.
     
  6. backcheck64

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    Presuming you and your GF are both STD free and taking every effort to prevent pregnancy, you are counting on each other to fully vet the previous sex habits of your other partners. Can you count on her to make absolutely sure everyone she sleeps with is STD free? Can she count on you? That's the reason for monogamy these days. And provided you are up on your STD protection...if she gets pregnant, are you sure it's yours or are you willing to raise someone else's child? Yet another reason for monogamy.
     
  7. Miamia

    Miamia Member

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    You made a good point listing practical advantages of monogamy. But I guess these are not the main reasons why people stick to exclusive partnerships. If that were the case it would mean a wife had no reason to blame her sterilized husband for fucking another woman who was just checked for STD. "Yes, Darling. I cheated you, but I had everything under controll. Don't worry!"

    Even if there are practical reasons for monogamy they don't support the theory that exclusivity is directly bonded to importance. Contrary to the desire to have an exclusive partnership, the desire to have sex with different persons is inborn to some of us. Monogamy is just something we are born into, something we are taught to appreciate.
     
  8. Knine86

    Knine86 Member

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    So i must say this is not the reaction i thought i was going to get or the views i thought would have been left out of this. I can respect the fact that i kind of left this open to any one. But i think this is one of those situations where i have to think to my self if youre not going to help stay out of it. Now obviously back story was missing that i feel would have helped clear some of this up.

    She and i had discussed this for at least 2 months before we decided to try an open relationship. She and i agreed on certain things that we both felt were boundries that were unbreakable. IE: 100% of the time, even including bizare circumstances, condoms are required by me and any other guy that is involved in any way. As for the "slap in the face" that was '..I'm finally getting my chance..' She knows good and well that it was not a jab at her. When this started she had the first oportunity and we had agreed that unless her one specific guy was available she wouldnt sleep with any one (male or female) untill i was able to "even things out".

    The purpose of the original post and always has been, is there some one out there that has been through this and can offer us advise. It was never, Hey what are youre feelings on this. TBH its not my concern what your feelings are, and i know it sounds rude. But i also didn't ask for your opinions or feelings.
     
  9. Meee

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    I stand by my reply.

    Ya starts yer thread and ya takes yer chance.

    Moderators: Please lecture this poster accordingly.

    Meanwhile, I'm going to guess that we aren't the only people you're rude to. I also stand by my "feelings" about a slap at your girlfriend. I'm guessing your rudeness is a pattern that extends to her as well. Seriously, do her a favor and go from open relationship to former relationship. I'm going to make one more guess: She's doing the open relationship thing as a way to shop for someone better.
     
    #9 Meee, Aug 22, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2013
  10. Mittimer

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    I will state what I state on most threads when people dislike reactions. This is a forum. Everyone will post their thoughts and feelings on whatever the topic at hand is. If you're unable to handle the possible reactions of the folks around here, don't post the question.

    As far as your..issue? Dating sites generally don't work when you already have a girlfriend. If you want a one night stand, go to a bar. If you want something more, join some sort of "lifestyle" site and let people know you're in an open/poly relationship.