Okay so I just want to move on but don't know how!

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Untamed, Mar 6, 2011.

  1. Untamed

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    I have been doing the fricken ex-girlfriend internet stalker thing!!!

    Since we've broken up we've talked and he's told me he's made ammends with girls from his past. I guess he doesn't know me that well because that really hurt to hear especially a day or 2 after.

    NOW all I can do with my internet time... is "ooh let's see if he's online playing with her".. I can't tell but he's always online playing xbox.. and playing a game type that he has told me in the past that he enjoyed playing with her. He always told me she liked RPGs and that's how they became close. I must be one of those really really jealous type girls. But he's just proving to me that I was right not to trust him.. that the thoughts in my mind that he's thinking about someone else were true.

    Anyways he has told me that I have a dysfunctional way of thinking which is probably true... but I can't help feel like crap, miserable and I make all these stories up in my head to fuel that.

    Can someone please make a suggestion to help me get over this?? I cry myself to sleep everynight and my heart really aches.
     
    #1 Untamed, Mar 6, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2011
  2. nurseharley

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    sweet home...
    honestly it sounds so cliche and dumb but literally the only thing that ever helped me is time. keep yourself busy with other things, try to stay off the computer as much as possible.

    it may seem like you'll never get over this but eventually you will.
     
  3. Mittimer

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    Keep our thoughts and times aimed towards your children. Distract yourself as much as possible. Take up a new hobby and like NH said, stay away from the computer as much as you can.

    What you're doing is not healthy and can hurt you more down the line.
     
  4. Untamed

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    Can you explain how it is dumb?

    And I will try to spend less time on here.
     
  5. nurseharley

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    i meant saying 'time will heal anything' may sound dumb :p
     
  6. Trond

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    Just a thought: without knowing much about the situation, I suspect that you misunderstood why he told you about the 'making amends' part (which may have been 'stolen' from the movie High Fidelity). Is it possible that he made it up just find an excuse to call you again? He doesn't want to sound too desperate, so he said he called all his ex-girlfriends.

    But remember why you broke up to begin with. You made the decision for a reason. You were unhappy, remember? So now he should be allowed to do whatever he wants. Easier said than done, I suppose.
     
  7. Untamed

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    I was just about to say that .. that is all my friends and family can say to me LOL

    Sad thing is the "sexual forums" is my only lifeline right now.. I don't want to weigh down my friends with my issues and I feel I can talk openly here.

    Last break up I had I got over quickly because I slept with someone.. BUT I don't want to do that.. the thought of someone else touching me really irks me.
     
  8. Untamed

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    No I think that it's his way of moving on. Good for him but so soon.

    Yes I made a decision I am sticking to it. It's just hard getting over the "I'm never going to hug him, kiss him, make love with him again"
     
  9. Beach

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    I'm driving and can only kinda skim read, but just to commiserate w you.. I just broke it off with a long term gf.. Struggling with my decision. It stinks being solo again..
     
  10. Trond

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    OK, you know him better than I do obviously :lol I just thought my little 'observation' could make you feel better.

    As for the 'stalking': people often do stupid things in these situations, and although what you are doing may make the heartache last longer, I have heard of worse. In fact, I may have done something worse myself years ago, but I'm too embarrassed to tell here (no, there was no restraining order or anything like that. It was just plain silly.):eyes
     
  11. Untamed

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    LOL yeah that is the extent of the "stalking" I'm doing still it's checking to see what he's doing on his xbox :p

    I think if I just do what everyone else is suggesting I will eventually overcome it. Hey self-inflicted pain right.
     
  12. Everett_Spair

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    I know nothing about relationships really so don't listen to my advice too much but as other have said you should try to keep busy with stuff that arent compatible with your "stalking". Like work or kids or similar.
     
  13. Untamed

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    I need to go jump off a bridge or something! I'm terrible!! I just sent him a message that was so immature of me. "Are you having fun reminscing with Beth about the old days? you do realise that makes everything that happened between us mean nothing" :(
     
  14. Trond

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    First off. Do not jump from a bridge! No matter how this ends, one year from now this will all seem silly and insignificant.

    Second: maybe you should actually meet face to face again and see if the chemistry truly gone? You seem to be in way too much heartache, particularly when you were the one who made the decision. Perhaps your feeling that you're not 'good enough' messed up your emotions and decision-making? If he were the one who broke up, then I could understand feeling like this, but this does not make much sense to me. Sorry if this seems like "flip-flopping" or if it is harsh on you.
     
  15. Untamed

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    I still loved him when I broke up with him and the sexual attraction also. But I chose to do so because in my eyes he put his friends first and that made me miserable. Now.. I'm even more miserable with the mindset I'm never going to see him again. I was hurting as soon as I hung up the phone with him. I'm hurting even more thinking that he's already moved on.
     
  16. Trond

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    Your relationship is long-distance right? That's always difficult. If it's really over, then maybe it would be good for you to find someone who's nearby most of the time.

    However, a couple I know had a two-day breakup because of something very similar to your situation. They both felt so miserable that they got right back together, and it's been working fine ever since. I'm not sure about this. How about calling him to say you're sorry about the silly message, and see how things go from there? If the whole thing is over and done with, perhaps you should go out with some friends and try to relax as much as possible.
     
  17. Untamed

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    Our relationship was long distance and ever since I've come back to New Zealand.

    Well I just messaged him and we're on friend terms now :)
    Feel like a weight has been lifted off me!!!
     
  18. Untamed

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    DRAMA QUEEN!!! tis me lol Sorry Mitt for all the threads
     
  19. Ready2Please

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    That is a good start. Now that he is moving on it is time for you to move on. My boyfriend and I broke up and realized we both moved to quickly). We spend more time together as friends then anything else. Yes,there are times that we have sex together but we are also friends too.

    I like the fact that we are friends and not enemies or ex's.
     
  20. Untamed

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    Thanks Ready2Please.

    I think it's nice being friends not enemies as well.