Oh, please, give me variety! very good sex, but always the same.

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by sensless, Nov 14, 2015.

  1. sensless

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    Sex is fantastic, but sometimes I get tired of doing the same things! It's like your favorite dish. Could you really eat steak and fries three times a day, and still feel excited about it? Years of it!

    When I say it is fantastic, it's because when it's happening, it feels awesome. He's very good in a couple of things. But...

    My man plays safe, too safe. I'm always initiating, I'm always trying to add something, but it takes two to tango. We've talked about it loads, I've given ideas, asked for his desires, asked stuff, simple stuff like different positions, or simple toy play, anything different... it's just not his thing. He doesn't find it arousing, so, he doesn't do it. He can't help it. It's just not his thing.

    There are times my hormones are like now, on an all time low, and I have to struggle for desire. I have to do it all by myself, in my own mind. These last two days I'm like "why bother, struggling to get in the mood? I can just not fuck, simple." And it's been two days we haven't had sex.

    I feel sexy and all, feel hot. But when I think of repeating the same things, sometimes it's like a cold shower.

    I've just bought a new toy, like a cry for help, but I hate masturbation. I've tried the toy for like a minute, sitting like a dead fish, holding the thingy against my clit. And then it was shoved in the drawer. WTF, I don't fucking masturbate! I know there are many people out there who loves masturbation. I'm not one of them. I need a man. A man who'd rock my world, sexually speaking.

    I want sex, but I'm bored. I'm just kind of ranting. I know by tonight, or tomorrow, I'll go back to the same old, same old. Don't misunderstand me, the same old, same old is very good, it gives me earth shattering, screaming orgasms. It's just that... it's always the same.

    I tell him "you know, we have everything, we could be fucking right now, like mad, we could do anything. I would do anything you'd want me to, you just have to tell me what you want, or just do it." And nothing happens. I'm attractive, he's attractive. We're fit, in shape, nice bodies... all we need is a little imagination.

    Just for the record, my favorite dish is chocolate ice cream. I'm not into steak and fries. :)

    Do you ever feel bored with sex, even good sex?
     
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  2. djanalyst

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    like...right now. currently. in your shoes...
     
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  3. sensless

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    I grieve with thee. :(
     
  4. duffy

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    Very thoughtful conversation.....variety IS the spice of life....I'm in the same boat as you with me lovely bride, yearn for new and refreshing ways...constant challenge.

    Keep pushing him to change, if he truly wants to make you happy, he'll change...little by little.
     
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  5. lbushwalker

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    'Stralia Mate!
    My decades of such experience suggests that a partner who is already set in their way early, same formula that works without fail will become even more set in their way over time.
    Same, same is the death of relationships unless effort, imagination, a willingness to experiment and spontaneity is fully embraced.
     
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  6. Cappy_Dick

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    I have just the opposite problem. I love variety, but no one so share it with.

    xx
     
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  7. almostthere

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    My wife finally started getting more adventurous. At 50. Go figure. Her oral skills have hit an all time high
     
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  8. Justuser

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    May be he is too modest!?... May be you could try to play sex dice. Yon know. There are two dices - one with position and another with action. For example, "ass" + "fuck"... or "lick")). Ithink it will be have some insentive effect on your sexual life)/
     
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  9. afunk13

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    For one you shouldn't put all of your sexual satisfaction on him to shoulder alone. That's a very big burden to carry all the time. You need to take control of yourself sometimes too. You can't always have sex. That daid why don't you try something new and maybe he will like it. If not find someone new or deal with it.
     
  10. sensless

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    I disagree. One of the main reasons I'm in a relationship, in general, is for the sex. I like to have a man available to play with. I take care of him, even when I'm not really in the mood. I expect him to return the "courtesy".

    He's free to leave, should he perceive it as a burden.
     
  11. afunk13

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    That's not fair to him. Not everyone is going to want to have sex every single time their partner feels an urge. There are other things more important in a relationship. I learned this the hard way and paying for it now.
     
  12. sensless

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    I'm not like a spoiled child who'll throw a tantrum if I want something and I don't get it.

    Do you expect to get everything you want, when you want it? I don't. I think no adult does.

    Don't worry about him. He's very happy about his sexual life. I take good care of his cock.
     
  13. Sagittarius84

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    You've got an interesting predicament. I know my gf would be willing to do just about anything within the scope of monogamy, but I don't ever feel right about pushing her to do something that isn't already in her repertoire.
    My advice is if he has proven to to be excellent at what he does, don't ruin that by having him stress over what he doesn't. Be the change you want, because you can't force spontaneity.
     
    #13 Sagittarius84, Dec 11, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2015
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  14. sensless

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    This is wisdom.
     
  15. Hypersexual11

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    getting him to open up and get more adventurous in bed isn't easy because it's sex. It is the one subject that causes more stress than almost anything.
    How about watching porn with him, something you have watched and know it has some hot sex. Ask him questions while watching, keep him turned on and a little buzzed. Maybe he just needs a helping hand. A lot of us are very conservative in bed because we don't want to be seen as 'weird'.
    Time and communication are the keys. I've been married 35 years, dated 3 prior to that and she was my first. We have taken forever to get here but we went from missionary, 69, oral, the basics, to mmf, pegging, some water sports. Major variety, never boring.
     
  16. lbushwalker

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    Sense does not watch porn; she invented it ;)
     
  17. Dodge72

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    Yes, which is why the wife and I probably don't have it as much as we used to (if ever). Seems her drive just stopped all of a sudden. We were pretty good about both initiating whenever the mood struck (which used to be a lot), but now it's few and far between. Plus, I noticed that over the past 12 months, it's become vanilla and mundane... I feel like I'm just doing another chore and really can't get into it like I used to. Usually, we would go for a long time with several orgasms each; now, it's one and done. I just don't feel like doing routine and she seems unwilling to want to compromise.
     
  18. Lunaman

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    One way to get your wife or girlfriend interested in pegging is through erotica. A good book that got my wife into it is The Wife's Wicked Weekend. It's about a wife punishing her husband after catching him cheating. Check it out.
    The Wife's Wicked Weekend
    www.amazon.com/dp/B00T0VFIAC
     
  19. AJP

    AJP
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    I have talked to many husbands that say the wife is no longer interested in sex but not many the other way around. To have Senseless wanting to try different things would be a welcome change. We have sex quite often but it's the same almost every time.
    My spouse has a sense of adventure just not in regards to sex. I understand what you are saying and that is probably the reason I am on SF