Of what you find attractive

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by WC1989, May 20, 2015.

  1. WC1989

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    Stereotypically guys fall into two category's: ass or boob men.

    Recently I've found out my boyfriend really likes large breasts ( full Ds, I'm a B). When I brought it up in conversation between us he said he prefers large breasts but likes "nice" breasts. This really does not help the matters we already have sexually.

    Thinking back I kinda have to push him in the direction of playing with them... He's not really an ass man but seems to prefer grabbing it as I ride him or when it's his choice always anal. I brought this to his attention before asking if he didn't care as much for vaginal intercourse.. His reply was im very nice and tight there, but why chance it... Really

    As some of you already know I have medical issues where I most likely will be unable to have children, not mention we use condoms and I'm on birth control.

    What are your thoughts on this? No my body isn't to his ideal turn ons, but neither is his. With his lack of libido I'm starting to question if he's just not sexually attracted to me.
     
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  2. sandwich

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    Hi WC. Are you saying he prefers anal sex? If so, how often do you get to have regular sex? I'm asking so I can understand better. Are you also saying he goes for anal to prevent pregnancy even though you use birth control?

    I can't remember if you mentioned whether or not he has a porn habit. I'm beginning to wonder if he is watching a particular kind of porn which may make him not want to have real sex, and then when he does want to be with you his mind is elsewhere.

    Some of the men on here have a breast size preference, but they will say that most sizes are fine.
     
  3. WC1989

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    I wouldn't say prefers, but maybe just as a precautious go to?
    I don't really know how to put it. Regular sex is pretty rare and usually when I force the issue and initiate

    I've tried recently to get him to become more open sexually with me, not to sound awful but he's inexperienced. There's nothing wrong with that at all, but he's came out saying I don't really even know what I like in bed. Which we've all been there! I tried explaining that was part of the fun of sex. Experimenting seeing what you like and do not like, yes it can be a little embarrassing and it's normal to be nervous at first. I just wanted to make the point that I want him to be comfortable to ask whatever that comes to mind.
     
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  4. sandwich

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    Is he about the same age as you?
     
  5. WC1989

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    He's a year younger
     
  6. sandwich

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    Has your sex life always been this way or was it different in the beginning?
     
  7. WC1989

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    Ours has always pretty much been this way, but I thought with time he'd get more comfortable... Not so much. So I brought it up and "he doesn't know what he likes in bed". I've nearly always had to take the lead which I don't mind, but I want him to enjoy sex too.
     
  8. sandwich

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    I'm going back to bed now. I'll think about your situation, although I don't know if I can add anything since it all seems very puzzling. I guess you could check reliable sources about anxiety and depression as well as porn addiction to see if anything rings a bell with you. It could be how he was raised, or any number of things that would hard to detect. In the meantime, I think it would help to be as encouraging and respectful as you can.
     
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  9. lbushwalker

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    WC1989; my views on your BF have not changed but given this post even hardened further.
    Very much time to bail girl; this dude is not good for you no matter how much you "think" you love him!
    There are plenty of attractive dudes in this world that would crawl on burning coals to get to you and provide to your needs.
    You fully know there is a problem and more or less always asking us point out the obvious which your instincts are telling you but you want to ignore or hope they will go away which they won't.
    You have given him ample chances to gain experience and remedy things yet here we are talking about anal over vaginal sex and he is still supposed to be inexperienced!
    In your place I would not have allowed anal if he can't even do vaginal right!
    I fully understand that you don't particularly want to read this but bite the bullet and ditch him; it will hurt but for your future happiness it is necessary.
     
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  10. 10_3XL

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    This one is tough, because it sounds like it is a lot more about the mental aspect of sex than the physical.

    Based on what I've read here, the two of you are figuring out what works, what you like, and gaining experience. Or, rather, you would be if there wasn't so much reluctance on his part. To me it seems there is some sort of block he has established in his head that is holding him back from participating to the fullest. That lack of commitment to the act is going to cause a major loss to how satisfactory it is for both of you.

    Like sandwich said above - looking into different things like anxiety, depression, or a "porn = reality" mindset wouldn't hurt the situation; might even help you come up with a solution. As I said, it sounds as though this is more mental than physical as to why things aren't working out so well at the moment.

    I respect lbushwalker's comments above, given the above posts of yours I think that breaking up with this guy might be a bit drastic. (I don't know/can't recall the other threads which Bushy referred to.) I think full and proper communication, as well as time devoted to experience together and practice, practice, practice could make a major positive difference.

    As far as the Tits vs Ass debacle: Don't get too caught up on it. Most guys deviate from one to the other on a semi-regular basis. Generally the preference changes and is not set in stone. I know that personally, as well as from talking to other guys, one week it'll be all about boobies and then the next week a letter switches and it's all about booties. :p
     
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  11. HotForHoney

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    I think you are too young to have to work this hard at a relationship - love or not. Unless your body has changed a lot since you started dating, he knew what he was getting after the first time he saw you naked.

    As far as me, I find different things attractive on different people. One guys chest/upper arms completely turned me on, another guy had great hands.
     
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  12. lbushwalker

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    @10_3XL, suggest you read every thread started by this OP then you will understand my views.
    H4H is on the money too; this young lady is working at the relationship like she has been married 20 years and things not right.
    I actually believe that the dude is not really into her in a big way and looking for an easy way out and I feel for her big time.
     
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  13. Bambidaaarvark

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    I've only recently joined so haven't gotten to know you that much yet.. As HFH has said I also find different things attractive on different women. One might have great legs and a great arse that's so damn hot another gorgeous boobs. On the boobs side I don't find size really matters, you can have fabulous boobs that are a B (yours are definitely fab btw) and someone's whose are an E and don't look / feel right. It's all down to the woman. (this made more sense when I started typing lol)

    And if she has gorgeous eyes, she has me straight away.

    All I know is this...You are an extremely attractive woman with fabulous boobs and arse (pretty pussy too I might add), but more importantly you're intelligent and have a big heart and a caring personality and those qualities won't change. Whatever happens make sure that you do it for YOU, because you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be appreciated and loved for the lovely lady you are. (((Hugz))) Bam xxxx

    ps if he's in bed with you and he doesn't know what he likes then there's something wrong with him!
     
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  14. ply

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    I think he's gay. Not joking. Ask him if he is sexually attracted to men. But then given what we have read about him, I think he would lie.
     
  15. sandwich

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    Well, I thought about it on the way to work. I have a couple or so ideas now.

    First....On the surface, just about everything you have said about him in this thread and even before this one sounds selfish. This leads to another question: is he selfish outside of the bedroom? Maybe he is just selfish in general. If this is a bedroom only occurrence, then something else is going on.

    Second....Do you know what his porn habits are? I ask because your sex life sort of sounds like porn in that it's all about him (no orgasm for the woman, the man just does what he wants, etc.). Could what he knows about sex be coming from that?

    Third....It popped into my head that he might like men. This thought occurred to me before I read the above post.

    Here's where the hard part comes in. If you are determined to work it out, then please consider that this behavior will continue if you allow it. I would tell him you don't want to do anal for a time and that you want the two of you to work on the female orgasm. I think today is a good day to start because the longer you allow it the more he will think this is all okay. If he refuses to do vaginal and work on the female orgasm then I'd be out of there! There is a book that some of the guys on here have read, and I think the name of it is She Comes First. Maybe you could read it together. If he won't listen at all then this is really really bad for you and your self esteem if you continue on with him. It could be easy to get in a pattern where you let men treat you less than respectfully.
     
    #15 sandwich, May 21, 2015
    Last edited: May 21, 2015
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  16. BlueCollar

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    My thoughts exactly.
    And I've expressed my opinion before concerning @WC1989 's man. How he could have a beautiful woman and not really care one way or the other about her needs is beyond me.
     
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  17. johanconra

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    Well I guess I fall into the same category as your boyfriend, I do really like large breasts but that does not mean I'm not attracted to any smaller ones. To be honest, for me, it doesn't matter if someone has smaller breasts than my preference, it still turns me on. From my point of view a woman comes into a whole package and isn't just defined by large or small breasts. This is basically how it works for me, you'd be on the good side.

    +++ Large breasts
    + Proportional to body type
    + Firm breasts
    - Saggy breasts
    - Large areola (not proportional to breast size)
    - - - Fake breasts
     
  18. Alwayslearningsex

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    If a man has not figured out what he likes sexually, after you tried several things, I think it's a concern for a few possible reasons.
    Is he not as attracted to you as he should be? then why be with you?
    Through experience and repeating the things you like sexually, he should get to know soon enough.
    Or one blunt way to say it: he doesn't know what he likes (with you)?
    If a guy wants bigger breasts, he will never be happy with an attractive pair like yours (don't change your avatar)

    I usually try to avoid these posts where I say ..... maybe things would be better without him.
    Don't wait in regret and frustration.
     
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  19. JRB

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    After reading and posting in a couple of your threads it really sounds like it's time for you to move on.....I don't know what else to say. It's going to suck at first but I think you need to look down the road a little bit and ask yourself if you can really see yourself with this guy, or are you just still with him because it's easy?
     
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  20. pool_shark

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    WC,

    I have read a few of your posts about your issues with your man and sex and it still sounds like you're letting your sex life be all about him.

    I'm going to switch gears here.
    Why are you so willing to please someone who is so seemingly unwilling to please you?

    My recommendation at this time is to stop trying to fix it, stop giving him his way, and stop trying to talk to him about it.

    See if he comes to you with a suggestion to resolve your issues or at least an offer to please you the way you want it.

    If after some time he does none of that, then you will have also had time to think about what your next step should be.
     
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