odd problem

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by jamessmith, Feb 23, 2008.

  1. jamessmith

    jamessmith New Member

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    I have a weird sex problem/question. First a little background. I am 21 and have had a little sexual experience. I just started having sex with this girl - the 3rd ever - and she is fairly experienced.

    Here is the issue. I have never really put it in a girl. They have always grabbed me and inserting met, and I have a weird feeling about fishing around and ruining the mood. I know that anatomy and such(books and porn). I have never had sex doggy style becuase of this. I usually have sex in the dark or with candles. I think that the reason, is that when I lost my virginity, the girl was on top and then rolled over into doggie. I fished and couldn't find it and lost my erection, ever since then, I have avoided it.

    Do most of you guys look(line it up) when you are putting it in - in missionary or doggy, or just feel for it. What if it is dark? Do you usually get it right in, or do you have to slide it around a bit? If she is wet and you are in the right area, does it "find its way in"? I am wary about this especially in doggy. I don't want to accidentally rub it around her butt and then transfer bacteria into her vagina. Do you generally start low near her clit, and slide up until it goes in? Do you just spread her cheeks and look for it. Does it go straight in in doggie or angled up or down? I don't want to be fishing around like an idiot, but it seems weird that I never put it in. What is the best way to do this and get over this "odd" hangup.

    BTW, I feel like she doesn;t know that I am sexually inexperienced, as everything else seems to be good as far as sex and oral. I don't think I come off as - as I am not really - a noob. I am perfectly comfortable communicating with her, but I would just as soon ask this on here.

    Can someone give me just a basic on doggie as well. It seems hard to do the kneeling behind her doggy. Can you really thrust well in that position?

    Also, I am a bit taller than her and she has a big butt(in a good way:). Should I have her knees further apart to accomodate this?

    Overall, I like the girl handling me and putting it in, but it seems beta to be always having her do it? Do the ladies on here have a preference.

    I know this seems odd!

    Cheers!
    James
     
  2. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    This was a really interesting post. Unless you're used to each other initial penetration can be a bit of a struggle. There's nothing unusual about her guiding you in. And it doesn't have to be like in the movies where they stare into each other eyes and then the gentle thrusting begins. It's okay to look down and actually concentrate for a minute on whats happening. Sometimes it can be a little painful especially if guys go in at awkward angles. You didn't mention anything about slipping out during sex which is something that might be a problem all in all from what you're describing everything seems to be going quite well for you.

    As for doggy style if you're not that confident and inexperienced thats the easiest position. Some women don't like it because it's impersonal, they like to actually be able to look at their partner and guys can sometime loose the run of themselves and turn it into a bit of a pounding.I've actually always associated with being a bit drunk , cause it's a hard position to mess up.

    I wouldn't really worry about rubbing it around her bum there is quite a seperation and besides her arse cheeks would be in the way so you'd probably realise just by feel. With vaginal doggy there should be NO spreading of cheeks lol. Just look down at what you're doing she'll probably guide you with her hand anyway cause with doggy style it goes a bit deeper. I think it works better if she kneels at the end of the bed and you stand because you can change the angle you go in if you want. Don't be afraid to take direction from her, she might be shy about asking you to change angle and such so ask.

    If you're physcially quite fit maybe you should be a bit more ambitious. I love suspended congress especially freestanding although against a wall is good.it doesn't necessarily take a lot of skill, cause the range of movement at the crotch level isn't that great and the woman usually does the actually movement, on the mans part it just takes a lot of stamina. But it can really serve to show a partner what you're capable of.

    anywho good luck I really hope it works out for you.
     
  3. Barbwire

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    Hey, welcome to SF! I don't think your question is all that odd. Sometimes having doggy style sex with a big butted woman can be a bit tricky. Just ask my husband. ;) We've been having sex for almost 12 years, and he still misses the mark at times, and starts to push into the wrong spot, so your fears of transferring bacteria are not unfounded.

    What works for us is, he brings me to orgasm through oral or fingering first, so I'm really well lubricated to the point of having having my entire vulva wet, then I assume the position, bent waaay over, ass up as high as it goes. Then, he pushes his cock all the way forward, to my clit and slides back until he feels the entrance to my vagina with his head. Usually, it slides right in, but on ocassion, he needs to use his hand to push past my labia and into my slit.

    Once he's in, and starts stroking, I am able to raise up my front end a bit to take his thrusts. The only time we have problems with him slipping out is if I get too upright, almost straight up and down. We are able to change the angle quite a bit to change the depth of penetration and the area he "hits" when he's in.

    Doggy is my favorite position, so I think it's well worth working on it to get it just right. :D

    Good luck!
     
  4. cbrmale

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    I've never inserted myself, never ever, and you can imagine the number of times I've had sex. I've also had a lot of partners, and I can't remember a partner who didn't guide me regardless of position. It seems easier for a woman to do this, because she has you in her hand and she knows where you are going. If I were to do it it seems like a mood breaker because (as you quite rightly assume), I would have to look.

    As to doggy, it's not my favourite position. For insertion, most women reach behind and guide. With practice, your legs will get strong enough to kneel and thrust at the same time. If you thrust for a bit and you get tired, it's time to change to another position. Because your partner's arse cheeks are between your pelvis and her pussy, depending on her build it can be a shallow position so your thrusting may need to take this into account. Also brace yourself by holding her hips.

    I prefer face-to-face intercourse (me on top, my wife on top and a lovely side-by-side postion where she is on her back and I am on my side beside her with our legs intertwined). Doggy is for those times where I sense that she wants to be fucked rather than making love.
     
  5. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    James I don't think you have as big a problem as you may think.
    Most Women likes a lot of foreplay and that includes using your fingers on Her
    vagina So just feel around their and get it plenty wet and you will have a
    good idea where it goes. Then if you have a good hard on just rub it around
    where you think it goes and it will slip right in. And if you cant find it
    then ask for help, That will be better than fumbling around, And don't forget
    no two pussies are exactly alike.

    Hiker
     
  6. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    One great thing is that we're made to fit like a glove! A little prodding around is not at all unusual. Hell - Thorn & I have been married for over 30 years... and I still have to guide him sometimes - he gets all over-excited and goes too high or too low or starts to hump my inner thigh :ugh He'll say something like, "Am I in yet?" :rofl

    :eyes Somehow we're still married.. and still having sex!

    You're fretting needlessly, as men have been hiting the wrong spot and women have been guiding it in, ever since the creation. Relax, Mr. Smith. I'm sure you'll do just fine!
     
  7. ctown75

    ctown75 New Member

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    I love when my wife puts it in and we have been together for a long time and before I met her I loved when the other women put it in so just go with the flow and be happy that her hand are on it.If you need to just grab you cock slowly press it against her clit and move it down until it goes in,of course this is when she is laying on her back and you have her legs in the air.
     
  8. Joe

    Joe
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    I have a guided missile. It usually finds the mark by itself, and that's what I prefer. Makes me feel macho! :D If it bumps the wrong place my wife is quick to lend a guiding hand. She is sooooo afraid it'll go in the wrong place.:lol
     
  9. Fliteskates

    Fliteskates Member

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    I had this problem at first... I think most guys do.

    Now I can put myself inside my g/f in any position, in the dark almost every time.

    I don't even look anymore.. I just put my head in the general area and it always finds its way in.

    If the woman is wet enough, it should pretty much slide right in.

    There where times I would try to put it in my g/f ass and she would say "uh thats my bum..." etc when I was aiming for her pussy. It just happens.

    I would just crack an anal sex joke or something to keep things from being awkward.

    I solved alot of my issues by playing it cool and acting like I meant to do things... then
    things don't feel so awkward. Once you feel like you aren't in control you may lose your hard-on, upset the girl you are with, etc.

    Try to get behind the girl and rub the head of your dick all around the outside of her pussy and just tease her... while you are doing this you can buy yourself alot of time while you try to find the opening and she won't know that you have no clue where to "stick it". Eventually the head will find it's way in, trust me. Just keep sliding it around from side to side/up and down... but do it in a sensual way.

    It worked for me.