Obsessed??

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by LuciousLover, Aug 23, 2007.

  1. LuciousLover

    LuciousLover New Member

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    I can't stop thinking about sex! It consumes 100% of my time! I don't really consider it a problem except that I view everyone I'm attracted to (which is a lot of women, I can always find something attractive about a woman!!) as a potential sex partner! I'm bisexual, so it's even more difficult, since I know I can always find a guy to suck!!:dgrin:dgrin
     
  2. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Perhaps if you love your partner you should think about just being for her, and stop wishing to be with anything that breaths :p
     
  3. LuciousLover

    LuciousLover New Member

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    thats extremely difficult!!
     
  4. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Im not saying its an easy option, but if you love your partner and she isnt happy with you wanting to be with multiple others, then perhaps its time to settle down some and stop playing the feild :)
     
  5. Barbwire

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    Have you talked to trained professionals? Some counselling might do you a world of good.
     
  6. LuciousLover

    LuciousLover New Member

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    i don't know, i kind of like being this horny..............
     
  7. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Didn't you say that you were horny all the time.

    Hiker
     
  8. deckard_cain

    deckard_cain New Member

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    Maybe the root of the issue isn't whether you like being horny or not, but excitement. I can feel a real adrenaline rush playing a sport like paintball, or doing some martial arts, and although its not a sexual stimulant, it still gets my heart pumping and my adrenaline rushing, not to mention a rush of mental confusion. Take the post in the lounge about Arnold Schwarzenegger, I mean, this guy relates weight lifting to getting off. Maybe you need to find something else you really enjoy.

    You very well can't just nail things all day long, unless your a porn star. But hey, you might have a career there, who knows?
     
  9. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Even porn stars cant go all day ( theres always cuts befor round 2 3 4 and so on) :p
     
  10. eandvk

    eandvk Member

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    Sounds to me as if you are addicted,I mean geez...I think about sex alot too, but not nearly as much as that!
     
  11. Dreama

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    Well, I can only conclude this: in all your other posts, you make no compunctions about the fact that your SO has problems with your sexual preferences and thrills. Perhaps this is the reason....Because she feels inadequate. If your constantly wanting to do it with others all of the time, she probably feels like she just can't satisfy you. Perhaps you should both get counseling together....I don't know. But, I really feel that this might be the problem. I mean, I don't feel that there is anything wrong with being attracted to others, but if my SO wanted to fuck everything that moved, I too might be concerned.
     
  12. Bluesy

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    That does sound kinda problematic, yes. Some people are sex-obsessed due to a medical condition. A guy's body can produce abnormal amounts of testosterone, and you would need to speak with a doctor about this, so you could be tested and receive treatment. Someone who's bipolar will experience excessive horniness during mania. If you feel "up" and are more talkative than usual, are prone to arguing and overspending during these phases of extreme horniness, you might want to talk to your doctor about the possibility of bipolar.

    And some people develop an obsession with sex for psychological reasons. People with OCD are prone to developing unhealthy fixations with things, sex being a popular thing to fixate on! Some people use sex (consciously or unconsciously) like an alcoholic would use alcohol: it becomes a mechanism for distracting yourself from unwanted thoughts or feelings, it becomes a sort of psychic balm for making yourself feel better. If a person feels unfulfilled/lonely/depressed/bored/anxious/empty/insert-other-undesirable-feeling-here, the physical sensations that accompany sexual arousal and sexual behavior make for a gratifying, albeit transient, substitute. A person who is regularly consumed by unwanted feelings or thoughts can get hooked on means of temporary physical gratification, whether that be alcohol, drugs, shopping, sex, porn, gambling, eating, internet, etc. Most people can enjoy these forms of gratification in moderation (we all need some happy, carefree diversions in life), but when you find yourself using them more and more often, you arrange your life so that it accomodates your diversion, and related problems start to crop up (within your relationship, job, family, etc.) that's when it becomes a coping mechanism and a problem.

    Kinda sounds to me like you should talk to someone about this so you can get to the root of things.
     
  13. LuciousLover

    LuciousLover New Member

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    well i do have "addiction" problems :(
     
  14. Bluesy

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    It's very common for someone who's addicted to one thing to develop "addictions" to other things as well. Just read an article on addiction and the brain recently, and it takes 90 days for the brain to begin regulating itself like a non-addicted brain after you go "cold turkey". So if you can give up whatever is giving you problems for three months, that initial three months are going to be the hardest, and things get much easier afterwards. I just threw that in as a kind of bit of trivia, though, because I know that getting over any sort of addiction isn't easy; it usually requires support of some kind and is best supplemented by counseling. People get hooked on things for a reason, and if you can find a counselor who specializes in dealing with addictive personalities, or even OCD (because addictions are essentially compulsive behaviors), then you can get free for life. And learn how to feel good or relaxed or whatever you're having trouble feeling without artificially creating that sensation, for most of your waking hours, naturally. And when I say "naturally", I don't necessarily mean "without any artificial assistance", because some addicts become addicts in order to alleviate the symptoms of mood disorders that some people are neurochemically predisposed to developing. In that case, it is sometimes necessary to take medication to help manage the processing of mood-regulating chemicals in the brain. But, hey, sometimes people get addicted to things just because they're ill-equipped to handle all the stress they're under...the mind is far more fragile than a lot of people believe. We can only take so much crap, and then we either develop a mental illness and/or start using something to make us feel better.

    Anywho, if you're interested in getting over your addictions, I like SMART's approach, because it incorporates cognitive-behavioral techniques: http://www.smartrecovery.org/

    Best wishes and *hugs*!
     
  15. LuciousLover

    LuciousLover New Member

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    thanks SO MUCH bluesy, you sound very compassionate and I don't get that from many people :(
     
  16. Bluesy

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    Oh, that's so sad :( You deserve compassion, hon--loads of it! If you aren't getting it, maybe it's because the people you know don't really understand what you're dealing with. It's so easy to look at a person's behavior and stop there, and not delve any farther in attempting to see the underlying motivations. Of course, if you're referring to your gf, yeah, the fall-out of an addiction usually hits the significant other the hardest, so they're generally so stressed out from having to live in the middle of the chaos that they don't have any emotional energy left over for compassion. It's always a good idea for the partner of an addict to seek support, as well, for this reason.
     
  17. LuciousLover

    LuciousLover New Member

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    Wish you were my therapist!!

    thanks for all the info and advice....if you're not a counselor than you should be!!:):)
     
  18. Bluesy

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    You're so sweet...thanks for the compliment :) I've had a bit of professional training in the past (addictions counseling), and it's something I've thought of getting into again. *shrugs* We shall see.
     
  19. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Bluesy is an amazing woman....

    But yeah you do seem like you need some sort of advice in the form of a one on one .