Objectifying women

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Trond, Jun 24, 2011.

  1. Trond

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    Why only women you ask? The title of the thread can be read in two ways :)

    Never mind, I'm a man of course, and sometimes a prime suspect when it comes to accusations of men objectifying women:eyes. Not that I have been accused that often (or ever?) but I know what some people are thinking. Sometimes, they almost get aggressive when there is talk about sexual objectification. But wait a minute. What exactly are they talking about?

    -When is someone enjoying the sight (or touch, or whatever) of another human being objectifying that person? I am honestly not sure. When I don't care about anything but looks? This is hardly ever the case for me, at least not completely. For instance, I do enjoy women showing off and flirting (either directly or to the camera), but I am unable to enjoy any kind of porn when I get the feeling that people were coerced into doing it.

    -If "objectifying" includes any kind of enjoyment that is largely based on people showing off, is it really always that bad? Some people seem to think so, and are against any kind of "objectifying" commercials or entertainment.

    What do you think?
     
  2. nurseharley

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    All I can say is that if a woman chooses to show off her body in any way, whether it's for money or not, that's her choice to do so. If men enjoy looking at her then that's probably exactly what she wanted. I think it's up to the woman who is being "objectified" to make that decision.

    But I'm not sure that's what you mean.

    If a woman is minding her own business while out and about and you decide to stare at her tits and ass and yell obscene things at her, thats when it becomes objectifying. That is without her regard or consent if you will.

    I don't think I'm scientfical enough for this thread :lol
     
  3. Trond

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    Good point actually. I forgot to mention what is actually one of the most important things here. Some people choose to be "objectified". And trust me, that also falls into the way some define "objectification". Which is why I don't always think it's so bad.

    Well, I do look, but I don't think I stare. I am casual and polite about it. I definitely never yell obscenities. My wife, knowing my naughty tendencies, wanted me to wear a t-shirt saying something like
    "Thisshirtisdesignedtoconfuseyou whileIstareatyourtits".
    Although I think it's funny, I wouldn't wear it :lol

    Nonsense! :)
     
  4. nurseharley

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    I'm gonna clarify before someone yells at me. I realize everyone looks at people and checks them out. That's normal and fine. But like i said, it's how far you take it. Do I mind people looking at me? No. But when a guy jumps out of his car to tell me he thinks im sexy then that's a little much. Not to mention awkward.

    Good decision on not wearing that shirt! My dad would :ugh
     
  5. backcheck64

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    I won't go as far as yell obsinities, I did tell the Jaegermeister girl at the hockey game she had very nice breasts...they were hanging out there for the sake of attention.

    I have spun the car around to check out a babe...well, park brake Uturn.

    Now do you consider strip bars as objectifying? the woman has all the control, takes the money, controls what he can and can't do, and at the slightest motion can have the guy forcably removed from the place.
     
  6. CosmicEye

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    Damn look at them titties!

    ^ lol dam she musta been one of those rare perfect 10's to Uturn like that!

    I was ganna mention the stripclub. They let you look because they are in control. (can't touch in VA, booooo, but in MD and WV they pretty much fuck you). As long as they are in control and teasing you the way they want, theyre doing it to themselves and are comfortable with whatever they are doing. However when its closing time and a man follows a stripper to the car and says "Damn look at them titties", or worse, then that I think is being objective. I hate that word. Lets use sexual harassment instead.
     
  7. Trond

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    I wonder if the reasons for the "bad press" people get for looking at the opposite sex varies a bit from country to country. In Norway it's mostly the left wing feminists who turn sour and propose to make striptease illegal for instance. This girl didn't like the idea, so she stripped on the street as a little demonstration :).

    In America, I get the impression that it's most often the strictly religious people who react negatively. Correct me if I am wrong here.
     
  8. cbrmale

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    Trond,
    I find myself more interested in attractive women when it's been a few days since I last had sex with my wife. I think your sex life is not going well, so it would only be natural to be in this space more as a result.

    My cycle is the day after sex I'm not much interested in the women around and about, the next day I am interested, the third day I will take a lot more notice. Three days is longest we go without sex.

    In Australia, attractive women typically don't mind being admired, although mostly they don't want it to go beyond visual admiration.
     
  9. Trond

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    Yes, this is true enough. And it is also true that when there hasn't been any action of any kind for a while, then I have sometimes had entire workdays ruined by thinking about hips, butts, and boobs and the charming smile my sexy coworker sent my way.

    I sometimes have wondered if I am just using our problems as an excuse for myself, justifying looking at and thinking about other women. After all I did have sort of a "habit" even before I met my wife. But the fact is, our sex life is a train wreck. Plain and simple. What keeps us together is other things.
     
  10. cbrmale

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    Trond,
    This is not a habit, this is the way we are. We are sexual, and to deny this can be quite a dangerous thing. Men are typically on a two or three-day cycle and women on a longer cycle than that, but still sexual nonetheless. The compromise is that men will typically have sex a little less often than they would ideally want, and women typically more often than they need. But this is an average, and individuals vary.

    If you think of the last 100 years, three of the most perverted and dangerous men in that time were Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin and Mao. The former and the latter had severe sexual problems, which played a large part in their behavious.

    Christianity has, for various reason, been anti-sexual, and we subconciously inherit this through cultural conditioning. Most other societies and religions recognise sex as being normal, natural and pleasurble. So, there is no shame for feeling sexual arousal, nor is there shame in feeling arousal towards women when sex is not forthcoming. The only thing is we must not act on that arousal unless we have the consent of the woman in question! If I was in your situation, there would be no doubt that I would be having sex on the side: either with or without my partner's blessing. But that's me, the man who studied psychology and understands sex at a more detailed level than many, and who also came very, very close to losing his ability to have sex through paralysis, and as a result never, ever takes sex for granted. In other words, I would never put off the present, because I know that the future can be very uncertain.

    I also know now that there are many variations of sexual behaviour. I have an open marriage, I have sex with a number of women who have open marriages, and some of those women have had sex with men who cheat behind their parners backs. I also have sex with couples who wish to explore the boundaries with both husband's and wife's blessing, and I also know many swinger couples who quite easily swap partners and then return. Sex is not one man, one woman for life, and there are many options for us all.

    A bonus for you: you can leverage your assets, if you so choose, as I do.
     
  11. TheMotion

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    If you look at a woman with desire without knowing her, you are objectifying her.
    If you sleep with her, you are objectifying her.
    If you get hard when you see or touch your woman, even if you love her, you are objectifying her in that way.
    If the sight of her, or the way her body feels or works, makes your cum, you are objectifying her.
    If you enjoy her physicality, apart from her person, then by definition you are objectifying her because she is in part a physical object.
    No man thinks "we have so much in common" in the seconds before he blows his load.
    I love my woman indescribably, but I also love to have her on her back, head leaning back, or bent over, while I'm hard as a rock, knowing she's better than any other I've known or know, that many men want her, and to just fuck her like a maniac, as if I just met her and all that matters is every inch of perfection and the pussy. And still, love never leaves. EVER.
    So in the end, all this objective/subjective stuff is for the birds.
    What matters is respect. Always.
     
  12. Trond

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    Amen to that :)
     
  13. 6stringking

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    Ok im only replying to the looking at her tits and ass part. Omit the yelling obscene things. When women wear clothes that show off their tits and ass, its hard not to stare, and recently i was accused of "objectifying a women" when she had a very tight shirt on that had words on it, at this point the words are unimportant, but she yelled at me when she saw me looking. I was thinking, DONT PUT WORDS ON YOUR TITS and then Yell at someone for looking. I wasnt even looking that long, it was more a glance... i dont really get it. anyway even then this cant be considered "objectifying" even though she wasn't desiring the attention, anyones mind functions to read words when they see them, expecially on a shirt. Its simple psychology.