nothing to really do with sex, but please help if you can

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by nhl11402, Jun 17, 2007.

  1. nhl11402

    nhl11402 New Member

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    ok, well, where to start. my bf just turned 21 yesterday, we went out to eat, him and his friend started drinking at the restaurant, nothing big. We got to the club and about a pitcher of beer and id say 7 or so drinks down the line, he started dancing with about every girl in there (and a few guys lol) well, wasnt going too bad, I wasnt going to say anything. i mean, it was his 21st, he was shitfaced, and hell, it was just dancing right? well, to make a long story short, he got up on stage, got hurled OFF the stage and got thrown out of the club with about 6 or 7 guys ready to kill him if they got the chance... he calls today obviously doesnt remember all of this and seems to think it was "fun". guess he doesnt understand theres something scary about seeing your bf about to get the shit beat out of him... iunno but i wont lie, i was scared shitless (for him) lol. is he going to start making a habit out of this or what? hes even said hes never really cared for clubs but that was before he could drink... i mean, what the hell am i supposed to do?? sit back and watch and just see what happens from there? if this werent his 21st id be pissed but now im just kinda confused... i knew he was gonna do this on his bday.. i mean heck, when i turn 21 im most likely gonna do the same thing lol. sorry for making this so long, im just really concerned.. we love each other and all of that and i would never even think of leaving him. i just wanna know what im getting into here. thanks for any help...
     
  2. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    I think one sentence in there sums it all up: "....heck, when I turn 21 I'm most likely gonna do the same thing". Forgive and forget. That's what the 21st birthday is all about. Don't make it (drinking) a problem if it's not a problem. Address it if it becomes a problem. Meanwhile, just love each other, and enjoy the fact that you celebrated his 21st with him. ;)
     
  3. syrupstains

    syrupstains New Member

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    Guess just having fun. He probably won't make a habit out of it if its not normally his thing. But if it happens again and again well then talk to him.
     
  4. nhl11402

    nhl11402 New Member

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    thanks ;) thats really the answer i was hoping for lol. which is also why i havent taken this to him already. just wanted a little insight first :). i dont wanna start a fight over something so stupid that i know im gonna turn around and do the same thing when im 21....
     
  5. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    He had fun, that's all. And he must have had some very trusted people with him, in order to let himself go that much. Says a lot for his friends. I say don't worry about it. Pick out the funny things, remember them, and share them with him. Let the rest go. Getting drunk enough to be crazy does not indicate a future alcoholic. K? It indicates someone lucky enough to really let loose on his big day.
     
  6. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Yeah i can distantly remember my 21st....

    but as Mel said he was letting loose...and he didnt get beaten up as most bouncers at nightclubs know how people can get , and usualy let it go..

    It sounds like he loved his birthday though, and on the whole sounds like you did to......

    18t and 21st are always the ones were most just unleash and let fly :)...
     
  7. nhl11402

    nhl11402 New Member

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    thanks every1. i feel much better now :)
     
  8. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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    Glad you feel better :) As you get older, you'll realize that this is just the tip of the iceberg in the 'boyfriends who act like goofballs" department ;)
     
  9. nhl11402

    nhl11402 New Member

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    sorry guys.. just curious on this one

    ok, just curious on this one.. you and your boyfriend are at a club and he is completely obliterated (its his 21st). should i be jealous if he flirts/dances with other women? im not really.. not enough to bring it up to him. but a part of me is kinda eh about it. i mean, hes drunk, and its only flirting and dancing, not cheating in MY book. I know we both love each other and he tells me about every day no matter what happens he always will (i'm NOT justifying any cheating here) Im just curious as to what you think here. I wont lie though, my eyes were glued to him the whole time.. had he gone any farther he wouldve been drug outta there by his hair lol. sorry for the sorta odd questions. this is just the only forum i know of thatll give you honest, straightforward answers without all the bullshit a lot of others do. :)
     
  10. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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    No, you should not be jealous. Drunk or not, dancing with another woman isn't anywhere approaching cheating. You have to have the confidence in yourself to say "Hey, I know my boy loves me way too much to fuck it up, but if he does, I'll pick myself up and find someone even better."
     
  11. hotstuff6900

    hotstuff6900 New Member

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    He got all those girls wet and then walked out with you? That is something to look up to and be proud of. Those others r jealous.
     
  12. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    I thought this thread had already been posted b4 hehe ...

    but i still say and stand by what Mel said in the other same thread as this....no need to worry at all.
     
  13. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Sounds like you've had your question answered. Just want to add my agreement to those already posted.

    At this point, it seems just a one-time event. We all have those. IF it becomes a habit, THEN you have every right to confront him with the possibility that he has a problem.
     
  14. liam89

    liam89 New Member

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    id have to agree, even though he danced with them he still left with you, plus dancing is just that its not as if he was touching them up or anyhting like that is it?
     
  15. Kahurin

    Kahurin New Member

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    i donno...im the jealous type and wouldnt want my boyfriend dancing with someone else..Some believe dancing is just as important as sex....i forgot where i heard that its something along those lines
     
  16. Richie38

    Richie38 New Member

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    Frankly he should NOT be chatting up other women if he is with you. I think that shows total lack of respect.

    If he is like that when you are with him - what is he like when you are not around?

    How would he react if on a date with him you started chatting up other guys had a few dances with them, gave them hard-ons and then left? Double standard i guess?

    Depending on where you want to take this, if its just a fun open type relationship then do what you do. If you want a more serious comitment then he either behaves himself or you more on.
     
  17. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Threads merged. :)
     
  18. marth

    marth New Member

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    I'm T-total and can't understand how anyone could percieve the evening that you describe as 'fun' - so many people do seem to enjoy that though. On the subject of him flirting with other girls - I don't think being drunk is any excuse for stuff like that. It was their choice to get drunk, if they know that they are likely to start acting like a twat or whatever under the influence of alchohol, then they shouldn't have too much in the first place.

    As a few people have said though, it was his 21st, perhaps it's a one off..?
     
  19. Goldenlion

    Goldenlion Banned

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    Main thing, just talk to him and let him know how you feel.
    your only worried because you care. Good luck