Nothing bad just need a little advice.

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by XIII, Jun 23, 2008.

  1. XIII

    XIII New Member

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    Well I'm back again with another gf. Anyways straight to the point.

    Well my gf mentions to me that she would like to have meaningful sex with me. She says she's never had this before and was very shy in asking me this and said that she expected me to laugh and over analyse this. However, I have over thought this as I'm not sure how I can give her meaningful sex?

    I do want to do this for her but I'm just clueless in how to do it. Any advice or information would help.

    Txs.
     
  2. suite91

    suite91 Member

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    Well I'm going out on a limb here.

    If my wife told me she wanted meaningful sex I would interpret that to mean she wanted to feel how much I love and adore her - the passion of love making.
    Women are strange creatures though, I could be misinterpreting:eyes. Best to ask her what she's looking for.
     
  3. XIII

    XIII New Member

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    ya something like that from what i gathered. I suppose with out all the acrobatics and stuff like that. I dunno i suppose I'm quite ignorant in the fact that i think we have meaningful sex. She did mention that we almost did but then it started getting erotic. The only thing is I can't pinpoint what happened.
     
  4. Dreama

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    Sounds like you should ask her. In my opinion, you can't almost have meaningful sex. It just is.
     
  5. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Meaningful....hmm.

    Well, (not to get too technical, but...) the word "meaningful" could mean just about anything, so perhaps you should have her clarify what she means by "meaningful." Does she mean "meaningful" in the sense of "mean something" or in the sense of "important?"

    Ya know what I mean?
     
  6. evilkid69

    evilkid69 New Member

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    my ex gf use to say something along those lines of lets have meaningful sex...alls she really wanted me to do was take my time and be passionate about it...anything but hardcore porn sex...she pretty much was saying lets make love and not f**k.....which is actually good once in a while, with some good foreplay and taking your time, it can actually be rewarding..at least it was for me bc i made her cum more
     
  7. Mr. G

    Mr. G Member

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    So she wants non-erotic sex? o_O
    ..That part sounds a bit odd to me.

    Anyway suite91 really said it quite well. I'd guess she would want more of cuddling and holding her while you're inside her. But you really need to ask her what does she mean by it. It's not a common term that has an exact definition. She obviously has an idea of what she wants, you just need to get her to describe it to you more specifically.
     
  8. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Agreed with everyone so far...ask her what she means. Ask her to tell you what makes it meaningful to her, and get details. If you do the conversation right, you ought to be heading straight off to the bedroom!
     
  9. sex-adi

    sex-adi New Member

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    yep i agree, but why dont you ask her what she thinks is meaningful sex ?

     
  10. Pride

    Pride New Member

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    It's a romance thing....*women*
     
  11. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    Tell her you've been waiting for her to give you the same thing for long time.
     
  12. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Well, I actually like the "romance thing" myself...I love seducing my wife (and love being seduced by her). And I actually enjoy giving her what she needs from me outside of the bedroom too...makes me feel like a "partner" rather than just a "husband". Even if you're married or have a steady squeeze, you're not *entitled* to sex...you still have to earn it. (Both of you.)

    So maybe that's why I'm the only one of my male friends who never complains about not getting enough sex from my wife? :cool

    BD
     
  13. suite91

    suite91 Member

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    Very well said Dude, I couldn't agree more. :bow
     
  14. Bluesy

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    Bin-go :tup I was going to say that if a guy doesn't enjoy the sweet and sensual stuff, it's probable-to-definite that eventually he's going to alienate his partner in the bedroom. I've been with a hardcore "fucker" and it was very unfulfilling sex, even traumatizing at times (because there was no emotional connection whatsoever during sex, I felt more like a masturbatory toy than a lover...which left me feeling cheap and icky afterwards...bleah!). "Fucking" is two human animals rutting. If you don't evolve beyond that level of sexual intercourse, you're not going to be impressing anyone for very long, no matter how acrobatic the sex or how many tricks you've got up your figurative sleeve...it's no substitute for the more grown-up, subtle and sensual art of making love.

    I agree that you need to sit down and discuss this in greater detail with your gf. Encourage her to share specifics, because the more you understand her sexual needs, the greater the likelihood that you'll be able to fulfill them. When I hear the phrase "meaningful sex", I think of two people connecting on a deeper, almost spiritual, level during sex. Your emotions are engaged...you're no longer two warm bodies rubbing up against each other, you're using every inch of your body--all of your senses--to "tell" your lover how special they are to you, how much they mean to you, how much you enjoy and treasure them...you're using your body to love them. You make eye contact and it isn't because you're looking for a reaction, you aren't "objectifying" your lover (watching her like you'd watch a porno flick), you're communicating your desire with your eyes, you're establishing an emotional connection, a spiritual connection (the eyes are the window to the soul, after all). All of your concentration is centered in your fingertips, in your lips...you are wholly focused on how soft and warm her skin feels...close your eyes and really feel her. You are completely consumed in the moment...you aren't working from a script in your head, you aren't treating sex like a laboratory experiment (watching her like a lab rat to gauge her response), you aren't even consciously attempting to get her off. You are drinking her in through your senses...close your eyes and move your nose along her body (especially the neck), inhale deeply...use your mouth to really taste her (primarily through your lips, use your tongue sparingly)...become a hedonist in the purest sense of the word. Use her body to indulge your senses. Use your body to indulge her senses.

    If you're doing it correctly, the two of you should be sharing more than a few sweet, knowing smiles--that's how you'll know you've truly established a connection. Real love-making is heady stuff...you can't do it for long without getting an emotional buzz on. You may even find yourself tearing up--that's good! Don't force it (it'll seem fake), but don't try to hold it back, either. To know that she's moved you to such an extent will only add to the moment...it'll make her feel even closer to you.

    And remember, kissing is an art unto itself. Go about it with the same slow and sensual care, and she'll be near orgasmic from your kiss alone! (I'd go into a bit more detail on that front, but it's been a looooong--in a good way-- day and I'm pooped :p)

    Good luck to you :)
     
  15. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    :eek [BD swoons and just friggin' falls over]

    Ummm...Bluesy, when are you coming down for a visit?

    BD
     
  16. unalteredone

    unalteredone New Member

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    When i hear about "meaningful" sex, i think about slow, drawn out, leisurely sex. Lots of gentle touching and looking into each other's eyes...all that.

    The bf and i started researching tantra, and tried out a few breathing exercises and maintaining eye contact for an extended period of time, and it was a great experience. Maybe do a little research and try a few things out?
     
  17. XIII

    XIII New Member

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    Thanks, ppl. I suppose you've all said what I thought as well. I guess I'll just need to ask her for specifics.