Not sure what to do

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by sjobs, Jul 11, 2003.

  1. sjobs

    sjobs New Member

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    I consider myself a straight guy but I have always had bi-curious thoughts. I'm not at all attracted to men, I never look at them (I've tried looking at gay porn but it just completely turns me off), and I'm only interested in being in a relationship with a woman. But I often fantasize about having sex with a man. Now, my problem is that if I want I could have a sexual encounter with a man as early as tomorrow (gasp). I'm not sure if I should do that though because I'm still a virgin and I haven't even been with a girl yet. Wouldn't it be kind of weird to have my first sexual experience with a man when I actually consider myself mostly straight? Help me out here, should I just go for it with this guy tomorrow, have my fun (maybe then I can close the book on these bi-curious feelings), or should I put it off? I just don't know...
     
  2. Tson56

    Tson56 New Member

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    I think I'd go with it. Your feelings about this will probobly never go away till you do it. I know they haven't for me. After the encounter,you will know for sure. Then you can get down to fact that you are bi. (or not) My first sexual encounter was with a guy,BTW. And I concider myself bi.
     
  3. Giancarlo

    Giancarlo New Member

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    Try it out... ;) Well just to see... if you don't like it don't do it again... but just be safe and take all the precautions. ;)
     
  4. BaMaAnGeL

    BaMaAnGeL New Member

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    well i am a female, but I am in the same boat as you. I have been curious about being with another female since I was 16, I've fooled around with a few when I was wasted, but never went the whole nine yards... and believe me the curiosity doesn't go away, I am 21 now and I still have the same thoughts. I still want to try everything, but I can't bring myself to do it.
     
  5. Woot

    Guest

    I don't know if you have already done this or not as I see the original post is a bit old but if not, there are a few things you ought to consider from a psychological perspective.

    If you think this is something that you may regret after, and may feel guilty about, then you probably shouldn't do it until you are confident that you will not have any regrets (not enjoying it and having regrets and guilt are very different). If you are young, these feelings of guilt can be overwhelming at an age when "fitting in" with your peers means everything. Even if no one else knew about your sexual experience, it may be something you can't live with after the fact. Only you know yourself well enough to make that decision on whether you might have feelings of deep regret and guilt. If you feel that you will, then you are not ready to deal with the feelings you may encounter after it and I would suggest you decline.

    Having said that, there is nothing you should feel guilty about. It doesn't make you gay (and there's nothing wrong with that even if it did), dirty, or a weirdo. The majority of men and women at some point (usually in adolesence) have a sexual curiousity or some experience with the same sex. In fact, for many, their first sexual experience is some form of exploring with someone of the same sex. You're just exploring it, there is nothing wrong with that but as Giancarlo says, take all precautions.

    So your curiousity or exploration with the same sex is nothing to feel guilty about, however, if you are not sure how you'll feel afterwards and have any concerns that you might feel quilty or wish you never did it, then I would put it off until you feel completely comfortable.
     
  6. Giancarlo

    Giancarlo New Member

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    Absolutely.. don't feel bad about it man. I kinda felt bad after losing my virginity.. but I learned go on with life.. and I lost it to somebody worth it who I was in love with. You may explore. Take me for example, I took it the whole mile... it is up to you how far you want to go. Choose wisely and make sure you are okay with your decision.
     
  7. jnrain

    jnrain New Member

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    Try it out, the worst thing that could happen is that you won't enjoy it... and who knows... maybe you'll find your calling... :D
     
  8. justwondering

    justwondering New Member

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    I went through the same thing and tried to deny what I knew all along for many years. It is just sex, it dosen't define who you are or what is wrong or right. Enjoy the experience, it is a tool to enhance your learning and growing process.
     
  9. farspark

    farspark New Member

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    What happened? What happened? Where's the follow-up story? Did it all work out? Are you pleased with your decision?

    (For my belated penny's worth, I expect the vast majority of people make one or two, if not several, sex-mistakes in their life... and at the end of the day, if you try to avoid making too many mistakes you'll never do anything... Only thing - stay safe.)
     
  10. TittyTwista

    TittyTwista New Member

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    I woudlnt mind being bi. I have bi curiousity. I think of it as just having twice the choice in sex. But never would i want to be just gay. If I have to choose as side, women fo sho.
     
  11. Samurai

    Samurai New Member

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    I had the chance way back when and I should of taken it, he was so sexy. The last I heard my old friend was a homeless heroine addict/prostitue
    :(
     
  12. lamby31

    lamby31 New Member

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    i have the same feelings but i do enjoy masturbating with guys on cam if any1 wants to add me to msn sblamb4@msn.com im not gay i do have cuious feelings though always have done but dont think i will ever go thrugh with it
     
  13. slickncrazy

    slickncrazy New Member

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    I'd save myself for a girl first then do whatever you want.
     
  14. touchzing

    touchzing New Member

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    You sound ambiguous about being with a guy. What makes you think having sex with a guy would be enjoyable? You said, “I'm not at all attracted to men, I never look at them (I've tried looking at gay porn but it just completely turns me off), and I'm only interested in being in a relationship with a woman.” Yet you said you fantasize about having sex with a man. What do you fantasize about doing? Don’t go having sex just to prove or disprove something about your self.
     
  15. Giancarlo

    Giancarlo New Member

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    Yeah figure out your own issues before you go sleeping around with a guy. You can't be uncomfortable with watching gay porn or the thought of being with a guy, then think about having sex with one. I totally agree with touchzing... having sex just to prove or disprove something is not emotionally healthy for oneself.