not orgasming

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by knb06, Sep 28, 2007.

  1. knb06

    knb06 New Member

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    I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 months and we have been sexually active for most of that time. We have sex often and he orgasms every time but I haven't at all. It seems like he just rushes through it. I don't know how to bring it up. I wouldn't even know what to tell him to do to fix it because I have never been in a sexually active relationship (I wasn't a virgin though). Is it just harder for girls to orgasm?
     
  2. magicdragonfly

    magicdragonfly New Member

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    I haven't had a vaginal orgasm yet. I WANT one, and I've come close, but it just hasn't happened. I think it's a mental block.

    So, what I'm asking, is are you getting any clitoral stimulation? So far I've only ever been able to have clitoral orgasms so maybe that is the 'problem'?

    And I was with my boyfriend for..around 4 months before I was able to cum from him eating me out- mental block :eyes
     
  3. heelfetish

    Gold Member

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    Women need a lot more 'simmering' time then us men. Orgasms take a while to build in women. Based on physical attributes alone, women aren't 'designed' to orgasm from penetration alone. Clitoral stimulation along with penetration is usually a necessity, and the best way to get that is through lots and lots of foreplay.

    Your pleasure is just as important as his. Tell him to slow down. Delay actual intercourse until after lots and lots of foreplay. It would not be too much to ask for him to go down on you until you've had at least one orgasm before actual sex.

    But really, sexual satisfaction is a 2-way street. You have to help yourself along as well. Don't be afraid to lend a helping hand. Rub your clit during intercourse, help guide him during foreplay. Try different positions to find one that helps stimulate you more. With time you'll work it out, I'm sure! :)
     
  4. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    I agree 100% with Heeley
    so no need for me to add.

    Hiker
     
  5. zapper

    zapper Member

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    its really time women start taking these things into their own hands, literally. Either ASK your partner to do what you want/need or take care of yourselves.
     
  6. Clark

    Clark Member

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    Yeah... communicate your feelings to your partner. Do it in a normal part of the day - not during a moment of intimacy. Don't be accusatory - be constructive.

    And then help him. Tell him what you want him to do, and how long you want him to do it. When you have sex, guide his hand to where you want it to go. Talk to him and tell him what you're liking and why you're liking it. Help him make love to you. Teach him to make love to you. Everybody is different and he needs to learn how to meet your needs. He won't know how to do that if you don't tell him.
     
  7. jgood4u

    jgood4u New Member

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    Is it harder for girls to orgasm? I doubt it. But is it a different experience? Absolutely it is!

    Your equipment, and that includes your brain, is very different from a man's. What arouses you is quite different from what arouses him.

    You mentioned that it seems like he just rushes through it, but you didn't provide any realistic times, so it would be a little hard for us to know if your idea of rushing through it was 2 minutes or 30 minutes of penetration before he ejaculates. If he's giving it 30 minutes and you want 2 hours, that's a lot different then him in you for 60 seconds and right out again.

    How do you bring it up? Select a time and place where you can talk freely, but without the anticipation of immediate sex. Plan you phrasing so that you are putting the focus on how you feel and NOT on how he is performing. It might start out something like this: "Sweetheart, I'm not getting the fulfillment from sex that I feel like I should be. I've looked into this a little and I've discovered that women, in general, respond differently then men. Would you be willing to help me feel better from our sexual experiences?"

    Only a really selfish guy would say NO to that approach.

    Then talk about how a woman needs time to get aroused before she is penetrated, and how she likes the feel of is penis in her to hold and squeeze with her vagina for some period of time while he remains hard inside of her. And perhaps for awhile, he would help by going really slowly while you get the feel and build up your orgasmic energy until you are ready to have your climax.

    Here's a few suggestions. Have him lay on his back and you mount him when you feel good and wet and ready. You control the thrusting to suit how you feel without any concern about how he feels for now. Use your vaginal muscles to squeeze his penis just as hard as you can. You can't squeeze him too hard. Your orgasm will build from squeezing, not so much from thrusting. A little trusting might help keep him hard, but too much and he may loose his control and ejaculate. Your vagina is build with nerves that are sensitive to pressure, not friction, which is just the opposite of his penis.

    Once you have the feel for this, you can have many variations and both of you will have an increased enjoyment of sex.
     
  8. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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    Why are some women so afraid to say what they want? Just say "Listen. I want to orgasm, so you can either do it now, or slow down so I can get it during intercourse, but either way, I'm getting off too." - end of story!
     
  9. Animularisen

    Animularisen New Member

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    This is my second sexual relastionship and i started cumming in around a couple of months
    but it takes him a good while
    usually he cums, rests, cums, rests then i start cumming on the 3rd time ^__^

    my first one was 1 year and he didnt make me cum at all