not fair

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by look4dsunshine, Jan 14, 2006.

  1. look4dsunshine

    look4dsunshine New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2004
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    hiya, i have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and sex is a bit crap, i have NEVER cum and NEVER had an orgasm, im gettin really really frustrated now. we have tried loads of toys, tying up, different positions, different places all sorts but nothing works, pls help im so pissed off!!
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    6,823
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dixie Land
    I understand your frustration. Knowing that there is an incredibly wonderful finish to your act is certainly something to desire. But the pleasure (especially as a woman) is directly connected to your emotions and being able to completely lose yourself in every part of the act. The only way to do that is to RELAX and forget about TRYING to orgasm. Focus your thoughts on every touch; every movement; every look; every word spoken. Learn how to enjoy sex, regardless of whether you have an orgasm. Fantasize and romanticize. Enjoy the act of becoming one with your partner.
    If you were a virgin or very inexperienced before this relationship, it takes time for you, as a woman, to learn your body and it's hot spots. Patience will work wonders.
    Also, perhaps try NOT having sex for a few days... then see what happens. Being extrememly horny will increase your sensations.
    I sure hope this helps, because it sounds like sex has become a homework assignment, rather than a pleasurable thing. Good luck!
     
  3. Brad

    Brad New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2005
    Messages:
    342
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    England
    Rose, I have to say that I think your postings are great.

    They are full of such helpful, sensible advice, and so genuine.

    Just to add some further comments:

    Dear look4dsunshine,

    The first question that springs to my mind is the orgasm thing.....

    Do you have regular orgasms through non-intercourse? ie. by masturbation or intense foreplay with your boyfriend?

    If not, then that is the first thing I would suggest focussing on. Once you become relaxed knowing that you know exactly what brings you to orgasm, it will make life a lot less frustrating. And it will give you loads of confidence.

    If you don't enjoy regular orgasms outside intercourse, it is very likely that your boyfriend won't have a clue as to what brings you off which makes it even more difficult for both of you.

    If you do enjoy lots of orgasms outside intercourse, then I think you need to spend some time outside intercourse showing your boyfriend exactly what makes you orgasm without penetration.

    Good luck.
     
  4. SpanishPrisoner

    SpanishPrisoner New Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2003
    Messages:
    221
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Switzerland
    relax baby, relax! :D
     
  5. Kai

    Kai New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2006
    Messages:
    355
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    calfi
    u should tell him about you being upset and explain to him he needs 2 help please u sex is about both not 1 person. u should both do sum forplay and maybe use clit vibraters
     
  6. comanighttrain

    comanighttrain New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2005
    Messages:
    127
    Likes Received:
    0
    baby, you need the davemaster
     
  7. KinKyAznCouple

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2004
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Nor-Cal
    2 words POCKET ROCKET!!!