No sex life for 8+ months, need advice

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by bigperv, Apr 17, 2011.

  1. bigperv

    bigperv New Member

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    I've got a lifestyle right now that makes getting any really hard. I'm very busy: two and a half jobs and college full time. I'm living at home, not a dorm. Recently adopted a sober lifestyle. I did more my HS years than most college freshmen will ever do or hear about. Things used to be sex, drugs, and techno. Now... just techno (don't hate). I'm turning 20 in a month too. I need the crazy adventurous sex that used to be in my life, back in there.

    Transitioning out of my weekend job soon. There are so so so many hot girls who walk around all day. I'm in awe all day long. None of them pay attention to me.

    So guys/girls: What do I have to do to make this happen? What do you females want? That is, besides a douche with an apartment who can front weed and living space while riding his motorcycle since his parents were millionaires and paid for most of it. I'm not that guy. I'm not trying to offend, but my last gf was two years younger than me. Now shes 18 and dating that 25 year old. Wtf? :yell Is being 25 a requirement? I'll get ED if I have to wait that long.
     
  2. lbushwalker

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    Bigperv, patience is all that is required.
    You are indeed at a busy period in your life and although you did experience life in the fast lane earlier something drew you towards bettering yourself for the long term.
    You are doing the hard yards right now it's tough and no time or opportunity for relationships nor commitments so don't even try to compete with dudes who "seem" to have it all 'caus one day that will be you except with the satisfaction of knowing you earned that place.
    Meanwhile do as many dudes; self gratification, it's quick, cost effective and satisfactory as simple relief goes.
    Wishing you well and no way with average health are you are at risk of developing ED until at least twice your age and then maybe even never.
     
  3. cbrmale

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    My observation now rather than when I was younger is that young women (18) are a lot more mature than men the same age or older, so the 18 year-old and the 25 year-old doesn't surprise me. One of my nieces is 19 with a guy in his early 30s, and they're pretty closely matched in fact. I think young men need to think about the way we older men were in our twenties (at age 23 I was managing a staff of 7 and flying interstate and chairing meetings and so on). I don't see that potential in the younger men of today, including my son.

    As far as getting sex goes: when I found myself in a drought at that age I saw an escort or went to a classy brothel. Nice young and attractive women, and a good time could be had for both parties for a reasonable amount of money. It was newly legalised then but hadn't really changed from the illegal but ignore days before then. The trick is the escort or the brothel has to be up market because you get the nicer girls. While the girls work in the sex industry for the money, despite the rumours they do get genuine job satisfaction with the right client, which is how the hour or two can turn out to be quite rewarding.

    Beyond paid sex, what younger women are looking for is what women have always looked for: mature, confident, well-presented, courteous, humourous and good company. As always, the hard bit is finding the right place to meet the right woman, and nightclubs and pubs are rarely the right place!
     
    #3 cbrmale, Apr 17, 2011
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2011
  4. 33stack

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    Excactly. When I was 21 I had a wife and daughter and had already served a hitch in the marines, a year of it overseas. A 21 YO today, in MOST cases, not all, are VERY imature. Even in these enlighten times, a woman likes to feel safe and secure with her man. A kid on the couch playing Call of Duty isn't that guy.lol
     
  5. Trond

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    A few pointers: Do you HAVE to work so much when you're going to college and living at home? It looks like you are dropping one of the jobs, and that could help with both girls and college.

    Moving away from home tends to help with girls, but then people often feel the need to work more to make ends meet. Still, if you can afford it without working your ass off, then it could be worth it.

    Also: how about chilling and trying to be a bit more mature about it? You don't have to actually be 25 if you act like you're 25. If you think it's all about weed and motorcycles you may be looking at the wrong girls. Many women prefer a mature guy with a bit class.
     
  6. bigperv

    bigperv New Member

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    This is all useful feedback, thank you. Despite the volume of people I deal with day to day, I don't have many who I would ask about this.

    @cbrmale I live in south florida and I'm sure there are very high end brothels and girls available here. I wouldn't know where to look, this would take investigation for sure.

    Also, the age gap between couples is something I've seen before. I knew a girl who married straight out of HS to live with at 27yo programmer in Boston, MA while she went to MIT. I never realized maturity was something my last partner was looking for. According to her, the biggest draw to the other guy was how funny and nice he was.

    In comparison to your generation, what do you think this lack of potential in young men means for the future of their relationships? I wonder what the future holds for my friends. My best friend since elementary school just turned 20 with no job, no driver's license, and his rooms still looks the way it did when he was 16. At the same time, he just won a grant for being the outstanding writer he is, so far that publishing companies are beginning to see his work. While I definitely have a greater drive to work and pursue my career, he is much more mature than I am as far as acting selflessly, using caution, and being realistic despite his lack of motivation to be like everyone else. In fact, his frugal spending completely contrasts my high-traffic wallet. Where he can make $200 last him months, I can't make it last a week.
     
    #6 bigperv, Apr 17, 2011
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2011
  7. bigperv

    bigperv New Member

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    @33stack
    I see your point. I don't play games. I don't think I'm at a point in life where marines is possible, but admire you guys for sure.

    @Trond
    For the most part, I can pass off being chill about it. It still bothers me from time to time, here it can be a detailed example.
     
  8. cbrmale

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    Bigperv: maturity is what every woman looks for in a man. It's the number one personality attribute, and we can have it at 20 or we can have it much older. I'm a published author myself so I've moved the next step beyond your friend, which means if I publish an online profile it reads well. But the living at home, unmade bed, no licence, no job scenario is a turn-off! One of the turn-ons for my now wife was my nice clothes, my nice car and my well-paid and responsible job, as well as my bank balance. That all added up to someone who knew where he was going.

    I was generalising about younger men and maturity, obviously, and I do hope you find someone good soon.
     
  9. backcheck64

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    At your age, I was dating my now wife, full time student and worked almost full time. Now in high school, went through 46 women, drank at least a bottle of whiskey or rum each night on a weekend. Often three or four of us would head to the Lake and go through 5 cases of beer on a summer night. Never did drugs, but women and booze in HUGE quantities. For me and a few friends, the drinking pretty well stopped or at least greatly slowed after we turned 21, now it was legal, took some of the fun out.

    Cut back on the work a bit, women want a bit more maturity but they also want some time. And I don't know how you've made it 8 months, 8 weeks and I'd be in prison for murder. Longest I've gone since...well too young to say on here, was two stints of 3 weeks after our kids were born and that was suplimented with oral.
     
  10. bigperv

    bigperv New Member

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    You remind me of someone I know. Hes had sex with... lost count. Its funny how drinking stops after 21 for some people. You're lucky to have a wife like that, good for you! Still no sex on my part, but I'm headed in the direction. I'm not sure what she wants. If anything happens, I'll update.

    Shes Brazilian. On a tangent: What are some important Portuguese words to know when you're f*cking?
     
  11. backcheck64

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    Her saying "yes" and "I won't press charges". You, "Are you at least 18"