No sex in 4 months! Sexuality confusion! Help!

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by huskerfanatic, Apr 6, 2013.

  1. huskerfanatic

    huskerfanatic New Member

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    Hello all, I am desperately in need of some advice.

    You may remember a previous post of mine, located at this url:

    Am I bisexual? Does my spouse suspect it?

    Anyways, my wife is pregnant, and we havent had sex in almost 4 months! I know that the first trimester sucks as far as nausea, etc..but she doesnt seem interested at all! Our sex life has always been pretty uneventful ever since we met. 2 or 3 times a month maybe, and she never initiates..well, not never..but rarely. A few times I wasnt in the mood when she did, and she says she is scared of rejection, and thats why she doesnt initiate.

    Am i being an ass for wanting sex with my pregnant wife? I know she is tired alot, but I dont know.

    Very sexually frustrated here!
    Any thoughts?
     
  2. Dragon_Fire

    Gold Member

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    For the first three months of my pregnancy, I wanted to throw up if I as much as rolled over. I spent most of the time laying on the floor watching cartoons. Not sexy at all.
     
  3. AGFUNK

    Gold Member

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    Right now I want nothing to do with sex. I'm nearly puking all the time plus add headaches, body aches and just not feeling sexy on top of that. Don't push sex on her. She will tell you when she wants it. My husband pushes hand jobs and blow jobs on me and it just makes me puke. The first trimester is hell.
     
  4. sandwich

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    I've heard that the horny factor kicks in after you get past the early sickness. So...maybe just hang in there and be super supportive cuz when she hits that horny pregnant woman phase you don't want to find her in a state of being more interested in avoiding you because of how you acted the months before. By the way, nothing you said led me to believe you were treating her badly.
     
  5. backcheck64

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    My wife had very little morning sickness so it didn't effect our sex life in the least. The thing is, if sex sucked before marriage, why did you get married in the first place...and now you're bringing a kid into it.
     
  6. leew

    leew New Member

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    Can feel it with you. Similar situation here.
     
  7. fireontheside

    fireontheside Member

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    I haven't had sex my whole life!
     
  8. IdoPiddleSome2

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    No sex in 4 seems unbearable? Some of our Service-Members are going-without, a lot longer than that.

    An old joke begins with a ref to some food that can reduce a woman's appetite for sex to 10% of what it had been. "Wedding-cake" is the punchline. Some say it takes a grain of truth in a joke to make it funny. Be that as it may, if you're in distress over 4 months of no sex, you might not do well at all, enlisting in the Navy. Typical deployment for Combatant ships is 6 months to 9 months if Atlantic Fleet; longer if Pacific Fleet.

    Regarding sexuality-confusion, I've got nothing. Hopefully there's someone else here who can help. Best regards.
     
  9. 12barblues

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    Words of wisdom BC.
     
  10. nasstyboy

    nasstyboy New Member

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    I have a friend who is in a similar situation. His wife simply doesn't feel sexy or attractive. She has always been very self conscience about her appearance. tell your wife how beautiful she is. It's important for women to feel desired and attractive especially to their partner. On the other hand, consider that sex while pregnant may not be the most comfortable of activities for her either. As far as not being in the mood when she is, take one for the team. I'm sure she has. Be patient and understanding with her. You have a lifetime together. try asking some of the girls for help. they know better than us guys about sex and pregnancy.
     
  11. nasstyboy

    nasstyboy New Member

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    i just read your post again. why doesn't' she know you r bi. do you think she may find it exciting. Still, pregnancy can be a sex moat. talk to her. don't make her feel obligated or guilty. let her know what you feel and listen to her.
     
  12. loveprof

    loveprof Member

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    First of all, you are certainly not being an ass. Second of all, I haven't had sex in 20 years, so you're not beyond hope:lol Seriously, remember that the primary thing your wife needs now is to feel beautiful and secure. Try doing whatever you can to help her feel sure of herself without overtly approaching her about sex. If you do this and are sincere about it, you may find that she warms up to the idea of a little hanky panky. Also, remember that in her condition, you may need to have sex in some different positions that take pressure off of her abdomen (rear entry, spooning, etc.).

    For what it's worth, from an old codger who remembers what it was like.

    loveprof

     
  13. backcheck64

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    First off, I know a lot of guys serving, there are plenty of people more than willing to take care of others in the service. For those few that actually take marriage vows seriously, they knew what they were signing up for, I personally can't go over a month so there's no way in hell I'd enlist...especially the Navy. A close friend was in the air force, he said that was the most sex he'd had in his life, had a ball in the Phillipinnes, between enlisted women and hookers. Going that long was their choice, not the whim of someone else. Still don't understand marrying someone you don't have insane sex with in the first place...and then wondering why things dried up.
     
  14. loveprof

    loveprof Member

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    I feel your pain "fire on the side" and sincerely hope this changes for you soon. Just remember, while we can all certainly make improvements, it may have nothing to do with you. XXOO