No more Sex... WHY!!!!

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by fierce, Mar 30, 2005.

  1. fierce

    fierce New Member

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    Hey, Im a new guy here to the forums and I had a question for all of you. Ive been going out with my gf for around 8 months now, and she all of a sudden decided no more sex.... We first started havin sex after the first moneth and everything was great. No complaining from either partner, we switched things up all the time and had so much fun. She still says that she enjoys it a ton its just some people came to her school to talk to her about sexual abstinence and what not and now she doesnt really want to any more. I support that, but her having sex would be easier on me lol.... Basically the analogy they gave her at school was, You start out as a beautiful rose and you lose petals everytimes you have sex, so then after so many times having sex, you become an ugly rose that no one wants...... She says that the reason she doesnt want to have sex anymore is because it makes her feel sleezy afterwards. Any ideas on changing this theory besides encouraging her and complementing her. I feel really bad because now when we are even alone together, she doesnt want me to kiss her or even hold her because she knows that it will lead to sex.... She wants it really bad but just doesnt want to because she feels bad afterward. Any help is greatly apreciated.
     
  2. Kisses

    Kisses New Member

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    Is it the people that came to talk to her school about it that made her decide this? Or is it that she feels 'sleezy' afterward? The best way to get the help you want is to sit down and seriously talk to her about it. Ask her why she feels that way and try to come to a conclusion together. I think that this is probably just something she needs to do for her right now.
     
  3. kbate

    kbate New Member

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    What she really wants is a commitment from you to her. No woman likes to think she is just your "fuck toy."

    She is giving you her best and wants to know that she won't be tossed aside with the waste water when you are done.

    tell you you love her and give her a ring..

    Sex without commitment is nothing.
     
  4. fantasien

    fantasien New Member

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    Good point Kbate. I am a very committed person. I think that abstinence is good every once in a while. Because we shouldn't lose the important things in life. After watching '40 Days and 40 Nights' you come to understand that we as men AND women can get so tied up in sex and girls/men that we don't get a lot more of the important things done. Become sex crased lunatics. I find that after going on a week or so without masturbation that once i masturbate that next time, its more meaningful and more enjoyable. I would express something like that to GF.
     
  5. DJ & TJ

    DJ & TJ New Member

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    Spot on kbate :)
     
  6. fierce

    fierce New Member

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    I have been going out with her for 8 months now. The abstinence thing has been going on for a month and a half now. I gave her a ring last christmas and I tell her I love her all the time. I treat her like a queen...... I would even say im a little whipped. Trust me.... She KNOWS im commited to her. I am going to a college around here just so that we can stay in touch and not lose what we have. And by around here I mean an hour and half from her instead of going across the country to MIT.
     
  7. kbate

    kbate New Member

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    There is nothing wrong with MIT (by the way), If you are engaged, and she has a ring, why is she still your "girlfriend" and not your fiance.

    I am interested in the group of people that came to her school to preach abstinence. Do you know who these people were? Was it a religious group, or a government group? Find out what their message was that was so powerful to her that she changed her entire sexual lifestyle. If they told her the story about a rose petal peeling off, then tell her that a rose blooms can bloom many times each year, each flower of no less beauty than the last. You need to teach her (or have another woman tell her) that sex does not lower the value of a woman, but rather enhances her beauty by letting out the feelings she is holding in.
     
  8. Frank Grimes

    Frank Grimes New Member

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    I'm not getting much anymore either. Wife is pregnant, is never in the mood (I think she initiated once in 5 months), but we have sex once a week because I think she feels obligated. Oral is virtually non-existant in our relationship, and she's given me about 3 handjobs in the last year and a half. So, I'm jerking off a little more than I had before, just to keep from exploding between our weekly encounters.

    It just isn't fair. Women control 50% of the money, and 100% of the vagina.
     
  9. BiBiBaby

    BiBiBaby New Member

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    i've had a ring on my finger since christmas also and i still prefer boyfriend over fiance... i think its sweeter... his dad still comes up to us at his parents house sometimes and says "have you seen my girlfriend?' when they've been married 38 years
     
  10. Logger

    Gold Member

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    Dear Fierce,


    Sex makes a youg woman's complexion improve. The analogy that there are only so many petals on the flower is a false analogy.

    Ask her to pretend she just had sex with you, and ask he how she feels, in more detail. She should feel more vital and womanly.

    You did not say you got her a Diamond ring. Can you upgrade to a diamond or a bigger diamond?

    After sex, the afterglow, I struggle to do anything but lie in my reverie. But often, I willl struggle to get my woman to put her head on my chest, cuddling, with her beside me. That has seemed to create a feeling of bonding.

    Work on the Afterglow. There is a whole section of foreplay. This thread could be on After Play.

    What have you done in the past in your after reverie? What has worked, what has not?

    How can you clebrate your relationship? Sex is a great way. But maybe you can start backwards. What is the ideal enjoyment with GF after sex? What kind of music is uplifting for her?

    The concept of Character is important. Following Ideals is the right thing to do sometimes. But High Moral Character, is being able to balance and mix objectives, so that the overall best result is achieved. GF needs some critical thinking skills, if she has bought into abstinance. This is an indication of following a blind ideal, and indicates she is not capable of critical thinking. Get her some counseling. I ran into a website on Character Building recently.

    I searched Character Courses on Yahoo. School for Champions, Character

    http://www.school-for-champions.com/character.htm

    How about Anita Avanetti Character Course:

    http://www.anitavanetti.com/crash_course_bcbb.asp

    Josephson Institute:

    http://www.korrnet.org/ccknox/seminars.html

    Critical Thinking Resources

    http://www.coping.org/adultlink/think.htm

    Maybe you don't have to tell GF that she is immature and has more to go in developing her character. You could study the princples of building Character and Critical Thinking yourself, and teach her as you have time.



    Blessings.
     
    #10 Logger, May 4, 2005
    Last edited: May 4, 2005
  11. Iglet

    Iglet New Member

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    Blame the fundies!

    I blame the fundamentalist christians and their forcing the government to spend sexual education on adbstinence education when it teaches kids like me nothing about sex and certainly nothing about getting girls pregnant. The hours of worry and money I could have saved if I had known that there was no chance of my girlfriend being pregnant in various situations are vast and iritating. But no! Instead of education I got some middle-aged obese woman who obviously hadn't had sex in several decades telling my about the evils of porn and that the only way to protect yourself was to keep it in the pants and not even think about doing what is perfectly natural and pretty damn unavoidable.
    Rant over.