No more "blue balls" - is this due to age, illness, or satiation?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by htoad, Dec 30, 2010.

  1. htoad

    htoad Active Member

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    My wife and were recently discussing why I no longer get those "blue balls" feelings when I get very aroused but sexual activity is delayed. I certainly got them when I was younger, in our early years of sex. However, though she still readily arouses me and gets me hard, I no longer get that "blue balls" feeling. I can be aroused for hours before we do anything, but now it is actually more of a comfortable, pleasant feeling.

    An example my help to explain things. One morning Bunnie had to go out for the morning while I was home on vacation. year vacation. She was looking extra pretty to me, and she "teased" me by lifting her skirt and flashing me as she went towards the door. This got me excited, and I displayed my erection for her to see. She then felt bad - she came over stroked it a little and then bent over and kissed it, while sadly saying "I 'd LOVE to give you some attention, but I really have to go!"

    Back in my early twenties there is no way she could have left me in that state without me getting that pent up pain very quickly. However, now I told her no problem, I will be fine. I never got completely soft that morning, and still stayed aroused, but I felt very comfortable. I got a few tasks done and even watched some of our home sex videos to keep the mood going. Of course, When Bunnie returned at noon she came running in the house looking for me, and once she saw I was still aroused we essentially had each other for lunch.

    She admits that she is slightly concerned - she did enjoy seeing me get, in her words, "uncontrollably horny" (she never deliberately wanted to put me in that state, and and enjoyed however I chose to "release" those feelings with her). We discussed why this no longer happens, and narrowed it down to three potential reasons:

    1) I'm old! Now that I am 50, my sexual interest and activity is not what it was due to natural body changes.

    2) I'm ill. Perhaps there is some underlying condition or infection that is "blunting" this from occurring.

    3) I'm totally satisfied and satiated. Since I know I can get relieved with Bunnie whenever I want, however I want, my body has gotten used to this, and does not go into "panic" mode when I get aroused, since it knows the situation will be taken care of.

    I lean towards #3, with a little bit of #1 just due to natural aging. I am fairly sure it is not #2, since from all signs and my annual physical I am in very good shape for my age and my hormone levels are still in the normal range. I just feel that knowing I have a wife who is happy to please me at the drop of a hat, and in addition feels bad when other conflict interfere and therefore goes the extra mile to make things up to me, has enabled me to weather, adjust to, and even enjoy those prolonged arousal periods when they occur.

    So I am curious how others might feel about this topic - does my view make sense? Or might there be other reasons we have not thought of?
     
  2. cbrmale

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    Htoad,
    The biggest impact on men and sex drive is a slow decline of testosterone as we age. With less testosterone we do lose some of the dire 'need to fuck now' urges, and it does become more mellow. I had some tests on this some time ago when I was ill and after I recovered, and my testosterone level is higher than average for my age, and I suspect this has always been the case, hence my early puberty at age 11. So even though my sex drive is less than it was 10 or 20 year ago, it is still a very powerful thing, and if my wife flirts with me then sex WILL happen and it will happen very soon.

    This definitely turns my wife on: proof positive of her sex appeal. The converse is true, that a lack of sexual desire would have a wife would be wondering if it was them (it's not).

    Apart from being horny, higher testosterone means more drive and energy for day-to-day life. I would recommend some blood tests: the whole testosterone work-out including total, free, bound and estrodial. A word of caution as regards the results: pathology laboratories base the 'normal' range of testosterone around data obtained by statistical sampling, which encompasses any age from 20 to 80. But we probably want to have a higher sex drive than an eighty year-old, so look at whether or not you are the youthful end of the range rather than the aged end. Testosterone replacement therapy is easy enough, except that a man must be tested for PSA as testosterone is thought to feed prostate cancer if one exists, although a new alternative theory is that low testosterone is the thing that feeds prostate cancers, hence the common prevalance of prostate cancer amongst older men.

    I won't give you any prostate numbers to aim for because America is different to the rest of the world when it comes to measuring things (the rest of us are metric). It's too hard to work out and it makes my brain hurt! But basically, you want a result closer to a thirty year old than an eighty year old. Those men who do testosterone replacement therapy invariably swear that it changes their life, and more than sex too.
     
  3. Godiva

    Godiva Member

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    Perhaps it's a fact that you are vasectomised (aren't you?)? Therefore isn't the tube open for the sperm to leak out- hence you don't get build up of the sperm that wants release but isn't getting it as small amounts may leak out due to the pressure?

    Or, perhaps with age, less cum is produced and therefore less pressure/pain.

    My poor poor bf is still young and gets blue balls extremely quickly (it's coz i'm so hot apparently! hehe ) I love it but feel VERY badly and refuse to kiss him until i know i can finish him off...but then he always manages to persuade me.
     
  4. htoad

    htoad Active Member

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    Thanks for the responses. I do want to clarify that this is not an issue of arousal - I still get readily aroused and erect. I get my testosterone levels checked during my annual physical and my doctor says they are "better than normal". It is more of getting aroused and being able to stay that way for a while, without any discomfort or urgent-must-release feeling.

    I do have a vasectomy, but that has not affected by cum volume - the funny thing is, that is what my wife most worried about me getting a vasectomy. But according to her "tests", along observing the videos we make, there has not be any difference in volume (though I definitely do not spurt as far as I used to).

    It is curious and interesting for us because my wife is the one who, once she is excited, is more likely to uncomfortable and impatient if she doesn't get relief. She sometimes gets "mad" and "blames" me for this (all in humor), but I think it is somewhat cute. :)
     
  5. cbrmale

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    Htoad,
    I work in pathology, and I know that 'normal' for testosterone is not what you should be aiming for, and better than 'normal' may not be enough. Also, the total testosterone test is not sufficient, as a doctor needs to know what is free, what is bound, and what levels of estrodial a man has (this is equivalent to anti-testosterone, which means high testosterone and high estrodial is an overall low).

    I have never had what you describe as 'blue balls', so I really don't know what it is or how it feels. But I certainly get very aroused by sexual scenarios, and I act on my arousal at the first chance I get. Maybe my lack of blue balls is that I am sexually satiated.