Next stage in the relationship

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by MORPHEUS, Jul 28, 2003.

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  1. MORPHEUS

    MORPHEUS New Member

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    When is the right time to discuss having sex with the girlfriend??
    We've been going out for about 5 and a bit months now and I would like to move things to the next level but I am unsure what it would do to the relationship if I ask her if she wants to have sex....
    Is it too soon at 5 months???
    I am unsure if she is waiting for me to ask or just dosn't want to do it or what? She's not very suggestive and dosn't exectly tell me what she wants, but thats the way she is!
    I am a 17 yr old virgin so I guess sex is kinda important too me at the moment, since the guys talk out it a lot (all boys high school).
    I really like the girl and she means a lot to me, so I don't want to stuff things up...
    I don't really mind if I get rejected but it may get strange if I ask and she does reject me?
    What should I do?
    Just wait till she comes out and saids she wants it or what?
     
  2. Tson56

    Tson56 New Member

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    You should at least bring up the subject with her and talk about it. She is probobly just as unsure of it as you. Don't be too forcefull,just talk and see where and how she thinks. Be gentle,don't go at it in a horn dog way. She is probably a virgin too,and my want to stay that way.
     
  3. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    This is a difficult question to answer as it is one of those it depend questions, that is based on: your ages, experiences, religions, situation, access to quiet place, goals, aspirations, etc. From a very black and white perspective five months is not too early to bring up the discussion of sex but timing can be important. Plus given your age I would say don't rush it.

    Anyhow, if you have advanced to the petting stage (oral sex, genital play, masturbation) then great the conversation is needed. However if you are still "making out" and your advances are being shot down then a more general "where do you see our relationship going" discussion might be a better. After you have that discussion then following it with the sex discussion might be better. Remember sex is about communication and if you cannot have an adult conversation with her then you are not ready to have sex.

    Finally, I will say I agree with you that there is allot of pressure to have sex at your age and allot of pressure not to have sex too. Personally I am very anti-abstinence movement and choosing to have sex is a very personal choice that should not be rushed regardless of your marital status. I can almost guarantee any stories of "conquest" you hear from your friends I am willing to bet there is more hype than actual "conquest". So do not let your friends make you feel that you are missing out. Remember, you are the only one who knows when you are ready to accept the consequences of pregnancy. Take your time and don't rush it.
     
  4. Dreama

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    The 'right time' is different for every couple. My fiance and I started having sex about two months into our relationship, which I think is quite soon. However, we were both ready. And, if I were you, I'd let the sex happen...Don't rush it. When she's ready, you'll know. Make advances, but make them subltle. Touch her different places and see how she reacts. If she pulls away, don't pursue it. Just back off for awhile, and try again later. If she reacts well, make sure you are fully equipped, and go a bit further. Even though sex requires sufficient communication, this in itself is communication, so try that and see how it goes. Please, don't have unprotected sex, though unless you are ready to accept the consequences.
     
  5. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Well, it's been over two months since he asked the question, and in that two months he hasn't been back. Seems the problem was probably solved one way or another.
     
  6. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    OOOOOPS! Someone's in big, bad trouble! :shifty

    "Beam him up, Scotty!"
     
  7. AnonymousOne

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    [​IMG]
     
  8. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Morpheus: It is not her job to bring sex up.
    (most girls would think,You would think I'm a whore if I brought it up)
    You have only 3 choices in this old world.
    1 Broach the subject at a good time.

    2 Just do it after a lot of petting (suggested)

    3 Do without, If you do it this way she will probally think you are
    anti-sexual and drop you anyway.
     
  9. cbrmale

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    Yeah, at your age guys are supposed to make the moves, but girls are sometimes expecting the next stage to be - something. Whatever you say has to be delicate, your thread title is perfect - the next stage in the relationship could be. Even if you want to, and you think she wants to, you still need to give her room to accept or reject gracefully.
     
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