New to Forum and had a question/concern.

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by CrookedVultr, May 1, 2011.

  1. CrookedVultr

    CrookedVultr New Member

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    Hello everyone,

    First off I am new to this forum and just wanted to say hello, so hello. Secondly I have had this issue/concern for a while now. I am 21 years old and still a virgin. I am not one of those people who are saving themselves for someone special, although I can respect that, if I had an opportunity I would jump on it. I have had my "chances" in college and high school but for whatever reason they didn't work out as planned (too drunk, girl changes her mind or whatever). So what I am getting at is this normal should I be concerned about it? and maybe a few tips on fixing this issue, and please don't tell me to get a hooker or something ha.

    I just don't want to be the 40 year old virgin let alone a 22 year old virgin.
     
  2. Beach

    Beach New Member

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    First welcome to SF.. Take a moment to fill something about yourself.

    Here are a few questions that may lead to answers:

    How are you putting yourself *out* there? Are you going out and doing, or staying home playing Xbox? No disrespect intended...

    Have you had any relation experience "dating" what so ever?

    If you were forced to describe yourself in interpersonal situations, how would you describe yourself? Aloof dark and moody ? The guy hanging back people watching ? The funny guy who always makes and effort to make ppl laugh? Quiet sarcastic ?

    How confident are you in social situations?
    Trust me everyone feels insecure in manys ways.. I have been told I don't come across insecure but truth be told I'm very self conscious and shy in ways.
    Knowing everyone is in the same boat helps me anyway.

    This may come across callus but unfortunately physical chemistry is a huge component in relationships. Not the end all be all but important imo.
    How do you feel about your physical outward appearance ?
    Sounds silly but I have known ppl frustrated by not finding someone special but are defiant about their appearance..

    Finding someone to date is a *do'able* thing crooked I'm confident. Sex not as easy but should be viable as well. Finding the "one" well thats another story and I'm looking for the answers to that one myself..lol.
     
  3. nurseharley

    Gold Member

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    sweet home...
    i am so tired of people thinking that there's something wrong with being a virgin! i don't care what your age is, it's not anything to be ashamed of!! (i'm not yelling at you, it just sucks that people are so hard on themselves)

    i'm not sure this is an "issue" at all - not being sexually active that is. if your issue is that you can not find a girlfriend to have an intimate relationship with, well then you just need to put yourself out there a little more. we all find someone when we are meant to. those girls that were too drunk or changed their minds? it's for the best they were and they did so.

    maybe you really aren't ready? i dont know but i think you need to stop focusing on it like it's a problem. when its supposed to happen, it will happen naturally.

    you cant force sex.
     
  4. HardRocker

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    ^^ What the Nurse said. Those are all good points.
     
  5. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    In another thread I said something to the effect of it's not the destination, it's the journey. It was in the context of a couple of 40-somethings who've had sex before but she was having trouble achieving orgasm.

    It applies here as well.

    I was a dork in high school, I had a girlfriend I met online before there was an internet to speak of (300 baud Commodore 64 BBS's) and it lasted a month, we had sex, that was it for me until my late 20's when I decided to just be less obsessed with the end goal and just try to initiate meeting girls and enjoy whatever little thing happenned and it's fine if it ended with that.

    But I have no idea what's going on here, so maybe this is helpful or maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about as far as you're concerned.
     
  6. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    if you really want sex, then get up from the computer and go talk to women. if you get rejected move on. theres lots of women and lots of time. good luck.
     
  7. Chronichaze

    Chronichaze New Member

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    Confidence is so much of getting tail. Not saying cockiness because there is a clear distinction between the two. If you seem too nervous you are going to make the girl feel that way too. I've said this before here that the more calm and collected you hold yourself, the more you make for a situation to be intimate in. If you're on pins and needles its going to crash and burn.

    I see ugly people get decent looking girls all the time. Looks can help to ones advantage but girls aren't as difficult as people make it out to be. With experience comes a vision to how you go about sexual encounters. It's all trial and error in its own so put yourself out there as others noted^ and don't fear rejection because it happens to everyone on some level. Good luck with it all.
     
  8. Flame

    Flame New Member

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    Welcome to SF. You will find a lot of very helpful and friendly people here :)

    I agree with what NurseHarley says here. And I especially wanted to say that virginity isn't something to "fix"! If you just want sex, you could always try a hook up site online. But if you want to have sex with a girl who could also possibly become a girlfriend then my advice is this:

    When you find a girl you like, make her feel sexy. That works on me! Even if I am not initially attracted to the guy. Of course you will have to find out what makes her feel sexy but in so doing you will make yourself even more appealing because in order to find out what turns her on you'll need to listen carefully to what she says and watch her body language.

    Good luck and let us know what's she's like ;)
     
  9. lbushwalker

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    Relax......virginity is non contagious :D
     
  10. CrookedVultr

    CrookedVultr New Member

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    Thanks Nurseharley & everyone else, I think what I got from all the input was to forget about the issue of virginity and just go with the flow so to speak. It'll happen when it happens. The thing that boggles my mind a little bit is that I'm not the anti-social guy who sits on his computer all day, I go out with friends (guys and girls), work out, am not physically disgusting imho and it seems to get me nowhere.
    I guess the thought has always been in the back of my head and that might be what is messing me around. Anyways im going to forget about it as a problem as nurseharley said and just put myself out there.

    Thanks
     
  11. Jonger84

    Jonger84 New Member

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    Belief in yourself , confidence , having some good friends to give you tips and feedback to your approaches also might help , investing time to improve yourself (your behaviour, your attitude, your look) not because you are bad but because there is always a room for improvement ..

    Last but not least .. pick the right girl.

    Don't let your mind run after your dick , better let your dick run after your mind.